In the starry skies, a single dark matter swordsman and three of his flying brethren stared down upon the thriving planet. "Disgusting," the caped soldier said. One of the cycloptic spheres stared up at him. "So... what are... we going.. to do...?" the shadowy mass stammered. "Simple," replied one of the others, in his low, demonic voice. "We go and ressurect the spawns on this planet." "And," added the swordsman, almost immeadiately, "We set out to destroy one who had destroyed our glorious leader-- twice-- and the traitor that helped him the first time." The shadowy figure cackled with delight. "Soon, popstar-- soon, everything will turn to ashes!"

Kirby awoke in the midst of the night. He tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. After thrashing about in his bed for a long time, he stepped out of it and tried to ajust to the colder air. He peered out through the window and found Gooey, staring off into space. He seemed lost in thought.

Kirby stepped out of his house into the starlit night. "Gooey?" he drowsily mumbled. "What are you doing up?" "Thinkin'," he replied, not turning in Kirby's direction. He was mesmirized by the stars above. "Thinkin' about where I'm gonna wind up." He then did turn to Kirby. "You've got a full life ahead of you, man. You have a future. Me? I dunno. I guess that 'ol Gooey might be making an interstellar move to make a life for himself." Kirby blinked, thinking deeply about what his friend was saying. "C'mon, Gooey," he told him, "one time I got famous for chasing rats down for a slice of cake. I'm not super amazing or anything." Gooey sighed and turned back towards the sky. "Keep tellin' yourself tha--" He stopped. "Omygosh," he said under his breath. Kirby squinted to see what was going on in the sky. Somthing was getting larger-- no, it was getting closer!

"GET DOWN!" Kirby tackled Gooey, and the incoming missle struck Kirby's house, igniting it on fire. "My house!" Kirby screamed. The duo got back on their feet to watch a Dark matter swordsman lowering down and laughing sadistically. "Kirby," he said. "And our condensed, rogue spawns. It's been such a long time."

"Dark Matter!" Kirby exclaimed. "You're... sword, again."

"That is correct. I have come for revenge against what you and that traitor did."

"I'm not a traitor, I'm just a guy tryin' to get by," Gooey claimed.

"We can take you, we've done it before," Kirby said. "Well, once. The other time I was alone. And the third time I was with a fairy."

"Ah, but this time, you will be facing the most powerful incarnation yet..."

"Please don't make it a bag of chips," Gooey muttered.

A large amount of Dark Matter began to form in the dark, starry sky, and a hole formed in it as something massive began to fly out. "Introducing... MATTER MONSTER ZERO!" From the warphole came a massive dragon beast, golden in its scales but with zigzags of black. It had two tails, two massive legs, but in place of arms were a massively wide wingspan and three heads with long, flexible necks leading to the heads, each with long horns, ferocious mouths had one eye each. Technically, with three eyes, you could call that zero 3, couldn't you?

"CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT!"

The lights came back on, and the Dark Matter swordsman turned to the chilly director as the two smaller Dark Matter costumed as Kirby and Gooey took off their costumes. "What? What was wrong with that!?" the swordsman yelled.

"Listen, you hired me to direct a movie putting you in a new light, making you look like a tragic hero who was unfairly defeated," the director reviewed.

"And what was wrong with that scene?"

"Well, first, I'm not entirely sure Toho will give us the rights to their character," the director mused, looking at the prop "Matter Monster Zero" hung by strings. "Second, we must show you in a weaker light."

"I thought the lights were pretty weak in that scene," the swordsman said.

"No, no, no, I mean we must make it appear that you are weak. At a disadvantage. If we show Kirby fighting and defeating a giant... dragon... monster thing, it will look like he won against impenetrable odds and that you're a loser. We need you to seem weak, like you have no chance of winning and that Kirby took away the only thing you ever wanted in life... People will feel emotions, sadness for you; you were unfairly struck down by a pink, gluttonous blob. That's what we need to show. That is what this movie must be!"

"Ooh, we could do Macbeth!" a random piece of Dark Matter suggested. The lights dimmed, then returned to show a Dark Matter blob dressed in Shakespearean attire. "Alas, poor Zero... I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy."

"Uh... we'll work on the script," the director decided.

Meanwhile...

"This is the stupidest plot twist ever," someone said.

"Yo! You- yeah you! Small fry wif the weird hair! Where is my cappuchino?!" the director asked wearily.

"Who me?" the elfin boy asked, taken aback.

"Yeah you! Hey...wass your name, kid?" the director, whose name was Jip asked.

"J-joe..." the boy said.

"Well, youre gonna be a star!" Jip said.

"Really?" Joe asked, his big eyes sparkling.

"Yeah. In the movie 'The Elf Boy Gets Jip a Coffee'. No, go get me a coffee!" Jip commanded.

"No!" Joe yelled, running out the door.

"Fine. Oh! Hey you! Arn't you my coffee guy?!" Jip asked.

"Who me?" A Keke asked.

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