By Ivyna J Spyder

It was truly amazing how fast things could change. One day can be beautiful, the sun shining, and the next can bring a tempest of epic proportions. This place, known for its mild summers and dark winters, was no exception. There were no exceptions.

Knuckle Joe had stopped counting the days he was there. He would stay until winter was over… That was what he’d told Gardell. Though he wasn’t sure what would really happen then. He’d grown so attached to Gardell he wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave him. Then again, it would start to get dull here after a while…

He progressed well in his training. He was superbly skilled, and was finally acquiring the polish he needed. He only lacked experienced and that would only come with time.

On all nights they slept together, only on some did it get more intimate. Joe had started to look forward to it… Strange as it was.

Yet all that time, he never really wondered or asked more about Gardell’s past… Just learning about his parents had been a lot, and later he had tried asking more, but Gardell would always change the subject. He never got angry.

So on that day, when Gardell had gone to search for things to trade, Joe let his curiosity get the best of him.

Gardell kept his things in a little space in the stone in the back of the ruins… Joe often saw him rummaging through his bag, but he’d never seen all they contained. He just wanted to take a peek, maybe see what was at the top of the bag. If Gardell asked, he’d probably confess of course. But Gardell wouldn’t be upset, knowing him.

He slid over, glancing back over his shoulder more than once. There it was. The bag was loosely tied at the top, and inside he saw a small, carved wooden box. He licked his too dry lips, grabbed it and held it in front of him. It was a pretty design, and there was no lock. He opened it…

Pictures. Photos, in fact. Old photos, curled at the edges. He couldn’t make them out at first, and moved into the light. Gardell was in them. No, these were different. It was him when he was younger. His hair still covered his eye, and he still smiled the same… Joe did as well, flipping through them. Pictures of Gardell and people he once knew… They were probably gone now, he thought. No wonder he said he was lonely, and he didn’t want to talk about it…

He paused. There was one person who appeared in almost all of the pictures. It was a young boy of Gardell’s race with golden-yellow eyes and blue hair. Joe flipped through again, noticing a trend. Photos of the boy as an infant, a toddler, an older child… All the way on to a handsome looking teenager, still smiling and looking so happy with the older man…

Gardell had once said, Joe reminded him of someone. Was it this boy? Who was he? …His son? No, Gardell would have mentioned that, right? Joe shook his head, carefully closing the box…

And he didn’t even notice anyone was behind him until a gloved hand shot out, grabbing the box from him. He jumped.

It was Gardell. Joe was relieved, but embarrassed to be caught, putting his hand behind his head.

“S-Sorry… I just… I wanted to see…” he stammered. His mouth felt dry. Gardell smiled. It was okay. He laughed a bit nervously. “Yeah, I should have asked…” Something didn’t feel right, what was it?

Gardell was quiet, holding the box at his side. “It’s all right… You were just curious…”

“Yeah…” Joe said, suddenly unnerved by the odd tone in his voice. “Um… Who was that boy in the pictures? With the blue hair…” He shouldn’t press, but for some reason he wanted to know.

The man smiled a little more, somewhat… bizarrely now. “That would be… my Riley.” He flipped the box open, sorting through the pictures. “He was Torick’s son… I told you about Torick, didn’t I? I haven’t looked at these in a long time… I didn’t… really want to remember...”

Joe’s face fell. Damn it, he hadn’t wanted to bring up any bad memories. “I’m really sorry. I’ll put them back… Maybe I can go with you to search today… I think I’m good enough now. I can handle any monsters.”

Gardell didn’t even seem to hear him, his look distant. “…I loved him you know. I always did… He was such a sweet boy…” His look went to Joe and he froze, having never seen him with such an expression… Cold. Very cold. “You’re a bit like him… He wanted to prove himself… He was beautiful.”

Joe found himself unconsciously backing away from him. This wasn’t Gardell. He never acted like this and it scared him. He wasn’t supposed to be afraid like this.

“G-Gardell…”

He closed the box again, snapping the lid down with a bang. “He didn’t understand how much I loved him… We belonged together. It would have been so perfect… He couldn’t have cared LESS… Such a fool…” He was touching one of the pictures, stroking it like someone’s face… “You’re different though… You understand.” He dropped the box suddenly, pictures fluttering across the floor, before he turned and grabbed Joe’s shoulders before he could back away. “Joe… You’ll stay here, won’t you?”

Joe’s mouth worked uselessly. “I-I… I don’t…”

Gardell was too close, the look in his eye frightening, manic. “You said you were going to leave, but you can stay… Please stay, a little longer… I’ll take care of you… I don’t want you to leave like he did.”

The boy winced as Gardell started squeezing too hard. Tears came unbidden to his eyes. This wasn’t supposed to happen… “G-Gardell please… stop it…” It was a dream, a nightmare, he’d wake up and Gardell wouldn’t be acting like this please wake up…

Gardell looked stricken. “Aren’t you happy here? You said… you said you trusted me…”

Joe nodded- he had to. Gardell’s voice was different. Hysterical. It wasn’t him. A little voice in his mind told him he should just throw Gardell off, defend himself, but he had nothing to be afraid of- he wasn’t supposed to. Why was he shaking?

“You’ll stay?” He looked so hopeful, so damned hopeful with that look that said just don’t say no…

“I’ll stay… I promise…” Joe managed to say. …And Gardell released him, stepping back. He smiled, almost looking normal.

“I’m glad… Thank you…” He didn’t look at the box on the ground. “…I forgot my bag… I’ll be back in time for dinner.” He picked up the bag, waved, and was gone.

And Joe didn’t care how childish it was or even who saw him, but suddenly everything was all wrong again and he sat there on the cold stone and cried.

~*~

Joe sat there holding the pictures for a while, knees to his chest. Whoever this Riley was, Gardell still loved him. And it hurt. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Would Gardell have been happier with this other person? Joe suddenly clenched his hands into fists, throwing the pictures down.

As soon as he heard noise outside however, he put the pictures back, and shoved the box under one of the stone benches in the back. Hopefully where Gardell wouldn’t look…

Gardell ambled in, tired and carrying a bag that was only half full. “Jeez… I couldn’t find a thing today… Damn, well at least we aren’t low on any supplies…” He smiled at Joe as he walked in. “So, what do you want to eat tonight? Not much of a selection though…”

Joe shook his head slowly. How could he act so normal? Like nothing happened? “Um… anything’s good…” Maybe it had been nothing. Gardell was just venting, bad memories and all. His fault for bringing it up… Something still bothered him, and he started to speak as Gardell walked past him, cut off as the man leaned down and kissed him softly on the cheek.

“Don’t worry about it… Everything’s fine now,” he assured him. Like he’d read his mind. He just tussled Joe’s hair and walked off to get things for their meal.

It was so easy to believe him.

~*~

That night was warmer than usual so Joe insisted he slept by himself.

“M-My stomach hurts a bit… I don’t wanna get you sick too…” he tried saying, and that seemed enough. Gardell sighed dramatically but let him. Joe took off his shoes and bandana, pulling the blanket over his head as he lay down.

He fell asleep quickly enough, trying not to think much about what had happened, and started having some strange dream. He was running… He didn’t know from what, only that it was huge and dark, he needed to find someplace safe-

And then in the waking world there was something close to him, holding him and he panicked, and in the dream the thing chasing him caught up-

“Joe, Joe, it’s just me… Shh…” It was him, the only one it could be. “You were having a nightmare… Are you all right?”

It took a moment for him to become more aware of what was going on. He was in his bed- Gardell was there… Normally he would have felt so safe then but something was different- wrong.

“I-I’m okay… You can go now,” he managed to say. Gardell didn’t move. “…Gardell?”

“Hm?” He had his chin on the top of the boy’s head, both lying on their sides. “Oh, just for a bit… Please?”

Joe reluctantly conceded, unsure why he was so uncomfortable then. Maybe he really was sick… Was he still thinking about what had happened that day? Gardell had acted so different. And Joe had said… He’d told him that… “Gardell… About… what I said earlier.” Why was he bringing it up again? No, he had to make sure…

“Mm? What did you say earlier?” Gardell asked lightly. His arms were a little tighter around him than usual.

“About… me leaving.”

He laughed softly. “Oh that… You can stay here as long as you like…”

Joe moved away, or tried to. “No… I can’t. I’m leaving when spring comes.” Maybe earlier.

Gardell didn’t say anything for a moment. “There’s still a lot of time until then… You could change your mind.” His hand moved to Joe’s stomach, lower. “You like it here… You’re happy here.” It wasn’t a question…

“I…” Joe pulled away, rolling over so he could look at him. “I can’t stay here forever.”

“…You promised you would.”

Joe’s look hardened. “You were acting weird. I didn’t mean it.” Gardell just looked at him, expression difficult to discern in the dim firelight. And then the man just smiled, sitting up and pulling him close again.

“Don’t be silly… There’s no reason to go…” Gardell stroked his hair. “You can stay here with me… Please stay here.” His voice was different again, some of the calm gone.

Joe shook his head, adamant now. “I told you, I can’t! I still have to find out who…” Who killed his father. He couldn’t give that up, even if he wanted to stay. Gardell’s grip around him suddenly tightened… His hands drifted too low. Joe resisted, pushing away.

“Stop it! I don’t want to,” he said through clenched teeth. Gardell didn’t stop, drawing him closer, body hot against his.

“Just relax now… You always like this...” He tried kissing him and the boy turned his head. “You don’t have to leave like he did. You’re so much like him but you understand, right?”

“Stop comparing me to him! Damnit let go!” Joe didn’t really want to hurt him then, just hoping that he’d stop on his own. He always did. He didn’t now. “LET GO! STOP IT!” Why wasn’t he stopping? He always had before this wasn’t right what was going on??

He was suddenly thrown back, down onto the bench and Gardell was over him, body pinning him down. Joe couldn’t move or even breathe for a moment as he saw that look in his eye again…

“You just… you don’t understand either… All I’ve done… and you’ll just leave too,” he said, voice strained and hands harsh on the boy’s shoulders. “What did I do wrong?! I tried, damnit… Don’t you love me??”

Joe winced. “Get off…” He was starting to hurt him. “Get OFF ME!”

Gardell grinned abruptly, crookedly, voice low and severe and unlike Joe had ever heard him speak. It wasn’t him. “I see now… He didn’t get it, my Riley. Riley didn’t see it. You do love me, I know you do. He did too, but he wouldn’t show it. I know you can Joe, why won’t you now? I can help…” He reached down, under the large shirt Joe had taken to wearing to bed. Joe cried out, trying to strike him but Gardell held both his arms, pinned over his head. Skilled as the boy was, Gardell still possessed more physical strength.

“LET GO!” Joe shouted, panicking now. This wasn’t happening it wasn’t happening please just- “STOP!” Gardell leaned down, covered his mouth with his in a too rough kiss as the boy tried twisting away.

“I’ll make you feel better, Joe… Just… relax… Stop…!” He grit his teeth. Joe tried kicking him but didn’t have enough leverage.

“Stop it stop STOP!” This was another bad dream it had to be, Gardell wouldn’t DO this it wasn’t right why wouldn’t he stop??

Joe pulled hard at the hand holding his wrists, pulling one arm free and didn’t wait a second.

“VULCAN JAB!” A weaker attack, but at close range enough to knock Gardell off him, sending him tumbling to the floor. The boy jumped up, standing on the bench and ready to defend himself. He was shaking again, too much adrenaline coursing through his body.

He waited. It was several moments before Gardell got up slowly, one hand to his chest where he’d been struck. He was breathing hard, eye wide and unfocused. He didn’t look up, emotions flashing across his face- anger and shock and then a kind of slow realization… Gardell froze, not even breathing and Joe stood there, unsure what to do now. Then he realized Gardell was speaking, almost too softly to hear at first.

“…no I didn’t mean to I hurt Riley I didn’t want to hurt him I didn’t want to hurt Joe I’m sorry I’m so sorry not again not again…” He was ranting quietly, most of his words in a jumble, not making any sense to the boy. He sounded… almost frightened. And that unnerved Joe almost as much as how he’d acted before.

Yet he didn’t know whether to go to console him or run out into the forest and never look back. Then Gardell looked up at him, face paler than normal.

“…You won’t forgive me either… I messed up… I don’t know what happened…” He sounded calmer, but his voice was hollow, lost. “…I try and… Something goes wrong… What am I doing wrong…”

Joe just shook his head, having no idea what to say. There was so little Joe knew about him, he realized then. Whatever wounds he had from his past, physical and mental. It was too much for him to be able to deal with. But he couldn’t leave him like that. Even if this was an act- and he didn’t believe this was, or that anything Gardell had done was.

Gardell looked down in confusion as the boy approached him, slowly, unsure as he stood in front of him. “…You should leave… Just go…” the man said, voice tense. “Damnit, get out! Before-“

“I can’t!” Joe exclaimed, throwing his fists down. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t anything to do with the snow blanketing everything. He just couldn’t leave like that, not now. It didn’t make sense. He said he had to leave, but now he found he couldn’t. Not yet.

And now Gardell wasn’t sure how to react as Joe had his arms around his middle, head against his chest. He wasn’t sure why he even did it, after what had happened.

“I’m sorry, Joe…” It was all he could say.

Joe just closed his eyes and listened to his heartbeat and tried not to think about it, and it really felt like everything was going to be okay again.

~*~

Knuckle Joe left after the snow started to melt, when some of the trees thought dead had started to bud. Gardell had said spring was beautiful there, but Joe wasn’t staying longer. Just until spring started, he’d said. With Trevor’s help they found someone who could take Joe off the planet. It took some convincing in the form of some rare coins Gardell had, but it looked like everything would work out…

“You shouldn’t have any trouble finding places to stay where this ship’s going… It’s a much nicer place than here,” Gardell said, looking down at the boy next to him. Joe was carrying a bag Gardell had helped him pack: enough provisions and things to help him out for a while.

The starship was just outside the encampment, the supplies being unloaded.

“They’ll take off as soon as they’re done,” Gardell said, hand on the boy’s shoulder. Joe nodded. “…Are you all right?” Always so concerned for him…

“Mm… Yeah, I’m fine.” Joe swallowed hard, his mouth dry. Was he nervous? Over what? No, it was nothing. He looked at the ship, the last of the crates and bags being carried off it. Trevor was nearby, getting his share for trading.

He took a deep breath, clothing his eyes for a moment. He smiled, looking up at Gardell. “Well…” How to say it. “Thank you…” For a lot of things. Despite all of that… “I’ll… um…”

Gardell picked up on what he was trying to say. “I’ll miss you too, Joe…” Thankfully he had the sense not to try hugging the boy in public, but he did tussle his hair a bit as always. ”Now hurry up or they’ll go without you.” He stood, pushing Joe in the direction of the ship. “Be safe… I’ll see you again someday, I promise… And good luck finding the guy who killed your father…” Gardell added. “Teach him a lesson for me.”

“Heh,” Joe grinned a little wider, rubbing his nose. “No problem.” He waved, walking toward the ship. “…Keep your promise!”

“I’ll do my best… Good bye, Joe.” Gardell smiled as Joe walked into the ship.

“Bye…” Joe said quietly as the door closed.

“Hey kid, get in the back or something,” one of the crewmates said, gesturing to a door. “I don’t want anyone to trip over you, short stuff.” Under normal circumstances, the guy would have found himself lacking several teeth, but Joe hardly felt up to that. He just shrugged and walked back there, dropping his bag and sitting against a wall.

Joe closed his eyes, feeling the vibrations as the ship flew higher. They’d be out of the atmosphere soon. He’d travel as far as it took, he’d find out about his father, somehow. Maybe he’d even visit his aunt… Who knew how she’d react to that.

He reached into the bag, hoping for a snack. Something like a piece of paper met his hand, and he pulled it out… It was a photo. An older one, but Gardell did still look the same. It was just him, posing with his weapon and smiling widely.

Joe smiled as well, putting it back into the bag. It wasn’t too hard to forget what had happened that one day if you really wanted to… It had been a fluke. Gardell had too much on his shoulders, and took it out on him… He hadn’t meant to, he really didn’t.

He’d been so cheerful after that. No, it was more… hopeful. Though for what, Joe wasn’t quite sure. Gardell hadn’t tried to convince him not to leave. The subject wasn’t even brought up, in fact it had almost been like before. Even the night before he’d left… Joe’s face felt hot and his shook his head quickly. Why did he feel like that?

He sighed loudly, stretching his arms over his head. He was tired. Just a short nap. It wouldn’t be too long before they got to their destination.

Now he’d have to focus on his future… The past was far too complicated.

~*~

“’Can’t say I’ve ever seen ya like this, Gardy.” It was Trevor. Gardell was still standing in the same spot, watching as the ship became just a tiny speck in a grayish sky. It was still early in the morning, the sun hazy through the clouds.

“Oh… You know, I hate goodbyes,” Gardell smiled, but it wasn’t real.

Trevo crossed his arms over his chest, eyebrow raised. “You really cared about that kid, didn’t you?” Gardell just nodded faintly. “Well, it was a good thing of ya to let him stay with ya n’ all… But, happy to be free again?” The big man grinned.

“Well… no. Is it odd of me to say I’ll miss him?”

“Nah.” Trevor shrugged, and they both started walking back into the camp. “So, heading home then?”

“Mm, I suppose…” It would be awfully lonely now he thought, smile bitter. He’d survive it. He had before. “Maybe I’ll start traveling myself…” Maybe Joe would have let him go with…?

“Go on then, get out of this hellhole,” Trevor said with a smirk. “I’ll help you pack.”

“You sound like you’d be happy to get rid of me.”

“Nah, it’s not like that. I’d leave myself, but honestly I’m too lazy to do something like that!” He laughed, a booming sound. “Do you have any reason to stay?”

Gardell was silent for a moment, eyes on a bleak horizon. Nearly everyone he knew was dead, or just gone. He was waiting here for something that would never come. “…I don’t know.”

“Ah well… If you decide, I’ll be here to give ya a hand.” He gave Gardell a pat on the back that almost knocked him forward.

“Er, thanks. I’ll see you later, then.”

“See ya.”

It was late afternoon by the time he got back to the ruins. He was taking his time… He really didn’t like the thought of going back with no one there to greet him. Sleeping alone again…

He sighed, poking at the ashes of the fire and idly wondering what to eat…

The next thing he knew, he was taking what belongings he had and shoving them into his traveling pack. The box of photos as well. Some things he could never leave behind.

No, this wouldn’t do at all.

 

~*~

 

The sun was warm, the breeze soft. Dreamland really did have wonderful weather, when it wasn’t sweltering. And Kirby was looking with some interest at an old, tattered photograph of a strange looking guy with horns.

“…Poyo.”

“…That’s Gardell.”

Kirby blinked. “Gaa… deru…” He remembered that name. Joe had talked about him before. It was a funny name so he smiled. Joe did too. Knuckle Joe was sitting on the tree limb next to him, staring out at the ocean in the distance. He was telling Kirby some story. He did that a lot, when he visited sometimes after hunting demon beasts. He usually talked about serious things.

Sometimes he would only talk to Kirby before leaving again. He didn’t talk to Fumu or any of the others very much. Kirby didn’t really understand most of his stories, but whenever he talked about Gardell he sounded sad. Kirby wanted him to be happy but wasn’t sure how to do that.

“I went back once and he wasn’t there… I guess I didn’t expect him to be… I wish I knew where he was though. I don’t know if he’s dead or he finally left…”

“Poy.” Kirby was better at listening now, which he was proud of. Sometimes he forgot he was listening and wandered off, but Joe was his friend so he didn’t want to do that. He knew what ‘dead’ meant, he hoped no one Joe knew had been killed. He’d had friends die and that always made him sad.

“…I just don’t get it sometimes…” Joe said quietly, brow furrowed. “I was happy, but sometimes I just feel so weird about it…” He glanced over at the little pink warrior. “Oh, you wouldn’t know anything about this kind of stuff.”

“…Poyo?” Kirby tilted his body to one side.

“Well I guess I wouldn’t expect you to…” The boy sighed. “If I was happy I don’t see why I should worry about the details…” He gave a short, humorless laugh. “Details, right… You don’t care about details, do you Kirby?”

Kirby looked confused. What was he talking about? But that was a question… He was pretty sure the answer was no so he shook his head.

“Of course not… Just do whatever you want, right? Whatever makes you happy.”

He jumped. “Happy!” That was it! Being happy was the best. He wanted Joe to go play with him, and tugged on his arm. “Joe, play!”

Joe didn’t budge though, lost in thought. “I felt like I was… home there… It wasn’t like that with my aunt or anywhere else… It was different.” He looked over at Kirby. “You don’t know where you came from, right? But this place is your home.”

“Poyo!”

“…He cared about me… There were problems but…” Kirby wasn’t sure if Joe was talking to him anymore. He was looking down at… nothing really. He sounded sad again. “Damnit… I wanna see him again… It’s stupid though. I feel like some damned lovesick girl or something. But it’s not like that!” he insisted, even though no one had tried confirming it. Kirby just blinked. “I just… Even after what happened… Damnit I don’t know… I still don’t…”

“Poyo…” Kirby deflated a little. He wished he could say something to help, but speaking wasn’t really his strong point. The words just didn’t come to him very easily. “Joe…”

Joe leaned back on the branch, looking up through the leaves. “I guess it’s not something I should worry about so much. It happened a long time ago… Maybe he is dead….”

“Not dead…” Kirby shook his head. He didn’t want Joe’s friend to be dead; that would make him sad. “…Play?” Maybe they could play with the soccer ball again, that was fun. He didn’t like talking about serious things.

“So you don’t think I should worry either?”

Kirby shook his head. “Happy!”

“…He always said things would turn out okay… He’d keep his promise.” Joe smiled, just a bit. “Maybe I could find him. I’m the best demon hunter there is, finding him should be easy.” His voice faltered. “…Do I want to?”

Kirby frowned. Joe was so confusing sometimes. “Poyo…” He sighed.

Joe suddenly stood up on the branch and Kirby almost lost his balance and fell. “I’ll find him then… I’ll show him how strong I’ve gotten!” He had his fists in front of him. “I bet I could beat him easy now! Not even Nightmare’s most powerful can stand up to me!”

“Poy!” Kirby stood as well. Joe sounded happy again!

Joe rubbed his nose. “Heh… But this is all between you and me, okay? A secret.”

Kirby also rubbed his… ‘nose’. “Secwet! Poyo!” He wouldn’t tell anyone if Joe asked him not to. “…Play?”

He laughed. “Sure, just a little before I go.” He hopped down off the branch and Kirby followed.

“Poyo!” Finally!

Joe paused for another moment, looking up at the sky. He’d understand it someday…. He felt Kirby tugging on his arm.

“Joe!”

“All right, all right… Let’s go!” He’d worry some other time, now he was going to go play like a kid should.