IF...
IF Entry

Governor Bartholomew Burt

- Entry for Hail to the King

- From Miasmorosman on June 29th, 2017

While pop star is usually depicted as a lackadaisical, laid back and usually chill place, the skies above it despite being usually calm, are not so much. Governor Bartholomew Burt is as presidential and authoritative as it gets in Dream Land. Bartholomew Burt is the giant pink leader of the bronto burts that patrol pop stars skies. Bartholomew himself is a giant pink bronto burt with a big bushy beard made of clouds and eyebrows also made of clouds. These clouds have Kracko spikes and eyes that occasionally jut out from their white, soft surfaces. Bartholomew also sports some suave business shoes, a business jacket equipped with a collared undershirt and tie, and a yellow and red robe that he wears over his suit, spanning back to his royal families regal days. He also has four huge wings instead of the usual two on most Burts.

Bartholomew is an odd fellow, in that his family once ruled over the domain of bubbly clouds, but unlike his ancestors who simply ascended to the throne, Bartholomew Burt held an election to see who would rule over bubbly clouds (And won! Despite heavy controversy over rigging the election and voter fraud.) Unlike most Dream Land leaders, Bartholomew is very serious, stern and cold-hearted, but his political charisma and faux-charm override his dark demeanor. He's gone as far as to criticize King Dedede over his "authenticity" over being the true ruler of dream land, sent rigorous attack ads propping up Dedede as a hack and a tyrant, and has challenged Dedede to live debates (Which Dedede couldn't care less about.) He's also done more of the same to Kirby, calling him "a threat to national security" and "a ticking time-bomb" but Kirby doesn't have a TV and usually spends most of his time sleeping, so he too couldn't care less. It's also believed that Bartholomew has been doing under-the-table deals with the Haltmann Works Company, which he has vehemently denied, (but has supported at least 14 bills regarding Haltmann mechanization over Pop Star, making his track record extremely shady and troublesome.)

Bartholomew, using his political punditry powers, controls Bubbly Clouds with an iron but fair fist. His brash demagogue speeches have harmed more than helped, from banning warp stars altogether to putting severe taxes on non-flying residents of Bubbly Clouds. It's also believed he hates Koozer's and has subtly tried to write them out of bills and acts he's pushed onto his own people, but so far these anti-Koozer bills have been rejected. His Bronto Burt subjects can't stand him and thus try to spend as much time away from Bubbly Clouds, only half-heartedly following his orders.

While being a crooked, powerful politician does have its own perks, Governor Bartholomew Burt is no pushover when it comes to actual combat. Using his Kracko beard and Kracko eyebrows, Bartholomew can shoot powerful lightning strikes at whoever angers him. These clouds can shift over his face to form sunglasses, cool mustaches and can even extend to a giant hand to grab and throw kirby with, or throw balls of lightning too. Bartholomew can also attack on his own by swooping at Kirby, summoning Bronto Burts to attack, generating strong wind currents and by throwing expensive government suitcases, full of paperwork and sharp memos that can paper cut kirby!

Although this is only a rumor, it's heavily believed that Governor Bartholomew Burt was the one who reached out to Max Profitts Haltmann in the first place, causing him to mechanize Pop Star. It's also further evidenced by how high the Access Ark was lifted into the air, right into the middle of Bubbly Clouds and how carefree Bartholomew was during the mechanization. Bartholomew himself disregards this as a crackpot conspiracy theory, even though halfway through his battle his robe falls off revealing mechanical parts underneath his suit, helping him hover and fly.

5 Votes60% -0+

Image by Bimblesnaff.



4 comments have been posted (Add Your Own):


Sometimes, artists mention something like "just the right amount of brushes" for knowing when to stop on a painting. With Burt's collared shirt, robe, and no torso to begin with, I had no clue where any of that was suppose to be. He already had so much that I feel those details were unnecessary brush strokes. Hence, absent.

Comment by Bimblesnaff on 3:20pm Jul 6th, 2017 (Report| Reply)

That pictures close enough on what I had in mind Bimblesnaff! I got a little convoluted on the details, my mistake. Next time I'll try to describe it a bit better! :)

Response by Miasmorosman on 2:35pm Aug 3rd, 2017 (Report| Reply)

Nope! Next time, I'll just find a stock photo of a cucumber and use that. This way, there won't even be the chance that it is close to what you thought.

Response by Bimblesnaff on 2:57pm Aug 3rd, 2017 (Report| Reply)

Too many brushstrokes, I concur! But still, this is a mighty interesting entry. So many details about his backstory are hilarious and atypical of anything in a Kirby game, but that's what makes it great. The parts about him being in cahoots with Haltmann are especially intriguing. I was going to say that he can't rule Bubbly Clouds, because that's still part of Dream Land and under the rule of Dedede, but then I guess since Burt's a Governor, that makes sense and it's okay?

Comment by Daimyo-KoiKoi on 8:10pm Jul 6th, 2017 (Report| Reply)

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