Alright, time of the more "juicy" PMs I was talking about yesterday.
This one is kind of embarrassing, but important none the less.
"Have you been alright?"
"It depends, what do you mean by that?"
"I mean everything! Are you still struggling? Do you feel out of control? Depressed?"
"Struggling? Yes. Out of control? Maybe. Depressed? Probably not. Although I do have trouble sleeping and anxiety, I stay up late due to playing on my DS all night, and the anxiety is because of my autism, so I'm most likely not depressed.
I have already PM'd KirbStomp about two problems. One is too long and complex to explain to more than one person at a time, though it is a big source for my problems. The other is easy to explain, so I'll just copy and paste what I said on KirbStomp's PM."
I'm not going to talk about the "easy to explain" issue. It had absolutely nothing to do with KRR, or anything else, really. I'm not going to go into much detail, let's just say it was about... err... "emergencies".
The rest of the PM was just about the issue, so eh. This was a discussion with Kapus, by the way.
Ok, that PM I mentioned on the PM? This was it, probably.
"Listen, I know you probably don't want to talk to me, and that's fine, but like... I just wanted to say something.
You don't need to feel hopeless about yourself. I've been seeing you posting around that you feel like you should die, and believe me, as someone who's thought those exact same things, I get it. I may not have the same exact illness as you, but believe me, it's something that has effected my day to day life for years, and I know how frustrating and infuriating it often feels.
I can't say I know what exact set of circumstances you're in right now, and I'm certainly not a psychologist or doctor of any kind, so I can't really give you any great advice, but I can at least tell you something I've learned from years of struggling with life-affecting mental illness. Things DO get better, and you have a lot more power over yourself and your illnesses than you might think in the beginning.
I can't really say much else without knowing more about you, but if you ever want to chat/vent about this kind of stuff, just hit me up."
This message is now very depressing, considering how 2017 is even worse than 2016, and KirbStomp won't even reply to me about this project.
"Ok, fine, I'll not be lazy and post something.
Now, I was already a crazy mean-spirited jerk.
However, something about me just hates the site linked below.
This seems to be a real big source of my problems.
This was my first forum. I'm KEEBY64 on there. I highly recommend you create an account so you see why I hate it, and so we can talk there.
Now, I'll make a big rant on why I loathe it later. For now, I just want to say that I can't seem to get away from ACC. It's almost like an addiction. The most time I've been without it is two weeks. That's it. I want to leave. The staff won't let me delete my account because apparently it's their policy. I'm considering posting swears and whatnot just so I get permanently banned from there.
Should I do it?"
Months later, I finally did it. Dang, that felt good.
"They really won't let you delete your account? And they won't delete it for you? That's... pretty freaking weird, actually.
But yeah, I've actually seen other people complain about that site before. I guess the community/administrators are a pretty toxic bunch.
I suppose just going out of your way to get yourself banned wouldn't be a terrible idea, but if you have any friends there that you want to stay in contact with, I might hold off on it for now, at least until you can find another way to keep in touch. It's also worth asking if just not being able to post there will be enough to keep yourself from returning to the site. Would not being able to post, but still being able to read topics be better or worse for you?
Also, why is it that you can't stop coming back to that website that you don't like? Can you pinpoint what about the place is so addicting to you? I feel like understanding that addiction more might help you find ways to deal with it better."
"Honestly, I don't think it would help. I'd probably be naughty and create another account. Of course, I'd get banned for that, too, but...
Plus I'd feel guilty if I did that. Sure, I could just PT(they call PMs that on ACC) an admin all sorts of crazy stuff to remove most of the guilt, but it would most likely only get me temporary banned due to not being posted publicly.
As for friends, I have a VERY bad reputation on ACC, so my only friend is a guy named Rodney. His username is nintendofan85. Once again, I recommend you create an account sometime so you can post and see why I loathe the site.
Rodney is on Bell Tree, another Animal Crossing forum(same username), so no problems there.
That's the problem. I can't seem to realize why I go on there everyday. I think it may be because it's a PERFECT place to troll and annoy people. There's no option to block users, and the staff are idiotic. The mods and admins seem to remove the content that's ok, and don't remove the content which is bad, which is stupid and funny at the same time.
Irritating people seems to be the best way to relieve my stress most of the time, the only exception being when I'm trying to relieve stress from having to "go", in which case I just use the bathroom. I'm guessing the pleasure is from seeing people be tortured like you were earlier. I can't seem to find a replacement for this. Even going outside and swinging gets old(I still love doing that though <3).
I can probably send you all of the notifs I have gotten. The staff doesn't allow this on ACC for obvious reasons, but it's not like I posted personal info or anything, so I can just send it to you via PM without the staff finding out."
I'm not posting the rest of the PM, because it's about my, err, "emergencies".
All that KirbStomp really suggested was a therapy of some sort, but honestly, that's been out of the question for a while, now...
Also, I miss when Rodney was still my friend. It turns out I accidentally upset him, too.
And now, time for something completely different.
A long many months ago, the Halberd was shot down, and many of the crew fled here.
I'm here now to say that we've rebuilt it, and will be launching it on the hour of the New Year (EST).
Here is the link: http://metanaito.net/forums/index.php
(thanks KEEBY :P)"
"You monster. Just because you're an admin, you think you can let your own religious references slide. It's your fault I'm banned. Unban me. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I DON'T PRAY."
"It was a figure of speech, you dunderhead.
Also, you weren't banned because of the god comment. You were banned because of your reaction to me deleting it."
"If you can call me a dunderhead, then I can say I dislike you.
See, you're breaking your own rules again."
"So you're saying you don't want to come back to Meta Naito then? I suppose that's fine."
"No, I want to come back. It's just that you're horrible at moderating the forum.
Goldmaster was a better mod than you."
Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if goldmaster being a good moderator was actually true...
"KEEBY, I'm gonna give this to you straight. The problem is you.
Clean up your act."
"I will if you unban me.
I'm going to post the emotes too, just for this one PM, because it's actually kind of important.
"Your ban lifts in 6 days."
"No, lift it now, I'm tired of life being a-"
"If you can wait out these 6 days, it'll show me that you are actually serious about being on our forums."
"I am. Why are people so crazy?
"Prove it then. Come back when your 6 days are up."
"Stop repeating yourself. Unban me, you banned me for unfair reasons, and now the forum is inactive again without me.
"You're corrupt and evil, you know that, right? Waiting will only make this worse."
"Threatening me now, are you? Two can play at this game.
Sass at me again, and I'll add another week to the ban."
WAIT. wait wait wait wait wait
I thought I was just thinking things, but now I know Fubaka is out of hand, or at least was 4 months ago. Aren't administrators supposed to STOP the threats, not continue them?
"What do you mean by that? Sass is for morons.
"Well you certainly don't act like you believe that."
"... but I am a moron.
"Actually that's also a lie. I know you're more clever than you put on."
"Shut up. I can call myself stupid if I want to.
Just unban me and get this done with."
"You don't seem to understand the situation here.
I lose nothing with you gone from the forums. You are the one in the position of weakness here.
Final warning, accept 6 days, or see another week on top of it."
"Why should I receive another ban from something I did outside of the forums?"
"Because actions have consequences.
Do I make myself clear?"
"Your ignorance has "consequences" slapped all over it.
"That's another week.
"Give me another week, if you know what I mean.
Don't you just love it how KRR has a se.xually aro.using emote, and nobody gives a single dang?
Yes, I'm using censors. Just in case. Don't ask, I had to mention it.
I wasn't even in love with Fubaka. I have no idea why I did that. I still laugh at it, though.
"Granted, now it's 3 weeks."
"Welcome to 20 days in heck."
"How about we make it a month then.
I see no further use for this conversation now. I won't hold my breath to see you return in February."
"Just permaban me already and end my suffering.
"Haha, you IP banned me.
Well, that was fun."
Then, suddenly out of nowhere... THIS.
"Not sure if you'll receive this, but I'm now gonna make you an offer.
You are still banned from Meta Naito forums. However, you are not banned from the Discord chat.
Come on if you like, and if you can be well-behaved for a few days there, I will lift your ban early.
Also, come on under a different name. See if you can fool me (or the Kirbinator) into thinking you aren't actually KEEBY.
Here's the link. I'll be waiting. https://discord.gg/4y9BPyj
"What the frickin' heck.
You give me an offer I can't accept because... 1. I'm not allowed on discord. and... 2. It doesn't load on the Wii U internet browser.
"Couldn't get the dang thing to work. Could you please just unban me?"
"I finally got the courage to do it on the computer. Ready or not, here I come."
"Why? I was being nice."
"No, I've had it with you.
Don't bother coming back in February unless you can actually behave yourself."
"ALSO I SPECIFICALLY SAID I COULD NOT PUT THE RES THAT HIGH QUALITY ON THE DRAWING"
After this, I just spammed messages at Fubaka for a bit or whatever. Also, if I did get unbanned in February, well, I got IP banned after that... again.
Yes, I went too far, but my point still stands about some things.
That appears to be all of my PMs that have some sort of evidence of something that could help us out.
I'm probably not bothering with the other email until further notice. It appears to be way too long for now...
Next time, I'll, uh... well, I'll know when I'm ready to show all you guys.