Kirby's Rainbow Resort

It's been over a month since the last mailbag due to extenuating circumstances. The amount of letters we've received far exceeds 50, and so I've been forced to assemble a crack team of mailbag militiamen willing to aid me in the overwhemling task of answering most of these letters.

Due to the huge amount of letters, we had to delete a few more trivial letters-- even though most of them are trivial. Most are very simple questions about Squeak Squad that were resolved between when you sent them and now (we hope so, anyways) or just overall useless letters (well, more useless).

As with 33.5, 33.75 has a bunch of guest writers. Too many, really!

Diskmaster is back for an encore presentation. Not out of popular demand, but rather because he was around and willing to do it and I just didn't want to leave him to play Yahtzee with himself all day again.

Diddgery is also back, perhaps out of popular demand, but also because eating bees turned out to be a terrible idea, and he's looking to kill time while waiting for the allergy drugs to take effect.

Supreme emperor of the universe, glöd, is up for every single Academy Award ever, including Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Film, Best Universal Emperor, Bestter God than even Morgan Freeman, and Best Mailbag answerer. Yes, glöd is a veteran to mailbag answering, and it's good to have him back!

Asotoku took some time off as corrupt forum dictator to help answer some e-mails. Thank you, Asotoku.

Terusama is a chat regular and former forum moderator who decided to cameo. That's pretty radical. The light color of her font represents the fact you all suck, as well as her kind and outgoing personality. She also makes Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu references.

-RMD

This is a great site. I come here for all my kirby-related ailments. I have one thing to tell you though. In Kirby and the Crystal Shards, you put rock twice (once for rock and once for bomb) in the copy abilities section.

Diskmaster: I don't see such an error, perhaps you were stoned when you submitted this e-mail?

Diddgery: So we are like a Kirby ointment for your Kirby ailments! But as for the rock thing, I don't really see rock in there twice. Unless you are referring to the double rock ability which is different because Kirby is twice as big!!

Terusama: This ain't the doctor's office.

RMD: Maybe, but Mailbag dudes don't do the K64 section! Or necessarily any section other than Mailbag (well I sort of do Fan Comics and Bagel does Links so alright).

I saw the interesting pic of ghost kirby on the jap site of squeak squad and was wondering whether it was going to appear the english version of squeak squad, because the english site never said anithing bout it 0_o, it's just a thought though.

Asotoku: By the time you read this you probably own the game considering how long it takes to get an answer!

Diskmaster: As far as I can recall, the ability does exist, but the ability itself isn't that great. At least the translation was direct for this ability. Would you rather they called it SHEET KIRBY?!?

Terusama: Kirby died. NoA didn't think the little kids could handle it. Sorry.

Diddgery: Yes Gabriella Ghost ability is in Squeak Squad! It's nothing like how the Japanese version of Pokemon Blue and Red give you Mew for completing the Pokedex, but the English version give you a stupid diploma. I WASTED SO MUCH TIME FOR A BLASTED DIPLOMA!

Dear, Bagel and RMD!
Here is some little questions:
1. Has you some time play football?
2. How did you seen out when you was a baby?
3. How did you think you came's to seen out when you are wery old?

RMD: Oh, hey Diddgery!
1. I hate football profusely!! (Super Bowl is coming up though, eh guys?!?!)
2. Probably my eyes, Diddgery. Probably my eyes.
3. Gay.

glöd: i am neither bagel nor rmd, but...
1. I has some time! Lets us throw a pig skin about the grassfield.
2. I seen out as a baby as very peculiar individual! This might because of lack of facial implants of today.
3. When i was a wery old i think I cames to seen as a granpa with no teeth of beard on face.

Asotoku: nice try dodongo!

Terusama: I ain't Bagel or RMD. This is an outrage and I refuse to answer this question. I'll sue your behind for every penny you have.

Diskmaster: Why are you typing with your boxing gloves on? Why is the world flat? Why does your grammar suck? Why is 2 + 2 = 5? These and other important questions won't be seen today, as we replace them with our regularly scheldued sack of retards.

What do you think of Kirby squeak Squad? Also, when do you guys guess the Kirby Gamecube (Or maybe Wii now) game will actually come out? Oh, and what is your favorite Kirby hat?

Diskmaster: I think K:SS suffered from initial poor level design, and the amount of levels, otherwise it was a decent kirby game imo. We aren't NoA or HAL, so we don't really know, so I quote id Software, "When it's done." I'd have to say ... Fire/Burning.

RMD: I think it's the most uninspired Kirby game ever made and you'd have to be a fanatic consumer to buy a game that takes only a few hours to finish almost entirely. Kirby GCN, now likely Kirby Wii? I don't even care for it now, really. I'm buying a Wii for Smash Bros. Brawl and Pokémon Battle Revolution. Probably a few more games and that'll be it. Favorite hat is probably Crash's anime hat.

glöd: Before I answer that question, might I ask a question? There are thousands of people dying every day to "kirby ailments". And you, "Dr. Kirby", are writing letters to our mailbag rather than helping all those who suffer? YOU AREN'T A REAL DOCTOR AT ALL. You don't care about helping people! You're just in it for the money.

Asotoku: Never played Squeak Squad, I believe the new game is cancelled, and the one with the swastika.

Terusama: I really couldn't care less about Squeak Squad, but I'm hoping the next one comes out within my lifetime and doesn't suck. Also Magic is best because it's a top hat. A TOP HAT, MANG.

I like your site my fouvrite game is Kirby nightmare in dreamland

Terusama: Ever thought of eating toilet paper?

Diddgery: my fouvrite game is difficult to pinpoint exactly. I particularly like Final Fantasy VI, Skies of Arcadia, Dragon Quest VIII and Live-A-Live when concerning RPGs. My fouvrite Kirby game is probably Kirby's Dreamland 3. my fouvrit gam is pnog

glöd: My fouvrite game is Totally Rad, it is a gripping story of love and action, with magic and great graphics!! it is a fun time and "totally gnarly" as one might say! if you play the game you'll get my joke there. ;)

Asotoku: ..hey hows it goin? my fouvrite animal is an pengueiane. :)

Update Kirby Warrior RPG and the fangames. Period.

RMD: hsoj1120 is lame. Period.

Diskmaster: First of all, KWRPG, KWRPGII, KWRPGII:DE, and Darkfire Knight: The Quickening are currently unsupported. Yes I know the links are a tad outdated. We don't update the fangames section. Period.

Diddgery: Kotex fits. Period.

Asotoku: i'm on my period too

MB KKTGMV MTGKV K;YTGKV;T&GLV:JHGV KKHGFGUJJDNK;FV>LFCLDSLLCLSXKC KVCKXJCVBVKCXK

Diskmaster: 404: Your brain not found.

glöd: MUP DA DIP DOOP DIDDY JIB GOO BIX NOOD MUH FUG

RMD: Sierra Charlie Romeo Echo Whiskey Yankee Oscar Uniform

Actually if anyone's bored and wants to see if this is secret code that translates to something, I'll mail you a dollar.*

Terusama: What's the difference between you and a bucket of puke? THE BUCKET. *ba dum pish*

Diddgery: I said come on fhqwhgads, I said come on fhqwhgads. Everybody to the limit, everybody to the limit, everybody come on fhqwhgads.

Asotoku: What is this? Did the quadratic formula explode?

hi. I like kirby and this site alot! I made a Kirby comic called Kirby Fan Mail that you send letters to like this. BTW, I can't wait for Kirby Squeak Squad to come out!!!!

question (however): I sent you a comic entry for the fan comics section a while ago and never even got a reply. I've stopped working on that comic now, but why didn't I get a reply?

also (this is about kirby warrior): who knows anything about when KWRPGIII is coming out? it's said "download link in couple of months" for more than a year now.

I still love this site!!!!!!!!

glöd: skippin dis $H17

Asotoku: hi!!!!! my name a borat!!!!!! i like-a you!!!!!! i like-a sex!!!!! is nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Terusama: Head On. Apply directly to the forehead.

Diddgery: It will come out when Development Hell freezes over

Diskmaster: HI, I'M A KIRBY WITH A HAT. :E:E:E:E:E:E:E:E ... Not fancomics editor, not Kirbywarrior ("WHEN IT'S DONE, YOU MORON. HOW HARD IS THAT TO UNDERSTAND!?"). not going to duplicate the awesome mailbag with a horribly done fancomic, please commit seppuku.

RMD: Wow! Hi hatkirby! Your comic sounds cool. Oh, and hey, your comic sounds cool. The Fan Comics section is currently in a tizzy of sorts, so e-mail me and I'll be sure to do my best to get that comic up for you, I look forward to it!

What is your favorite ability as well as the most POWERFULL ability that Kirby can obtain. I am quite puzzled. You can be as biased as can be. I just hope I get the "right" answers. I've tried as many abilities from as many games as I can afford, but I still am baffled. Thanks!

glöd: my favorite ability is the sweet embrace of death

Asotoku: HIV-Launcher

Terusama: That one that's like a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Diddgery: BALL IS THE BEST ABILITY EVER

Diskmaster: My favorite has to the be the one where he's causing nuclear explosions all over the world al-la the Zeeky H. Bomb. Nerf Tornado.

RMD: People have actually done attack damage calculations in Super Star, and some abilities are clearly much stronger than others, and while I'd want to say Crash is the strongest ability, I think Microphone Kirby is probably stronger overall.

My favorite Kirby ability is Tax Return Kirby.

What franchise of Nintendo game would you like to see released first to the Wii (of those unannounced)?

RMD: Wow! This is actually a good question, and one that took us all more than 10 seconds to think of a cynical reply to (seriously thanks for your letter-- send more)! I could go obscure and be like 'Pulseman' or something, but I'm not lame like that. Hm, I'll get back to you. I seriously will.

glöd: Oh finally a question I can actually answer!! Um, I wanna see an F-Zero game, kinda. I mean, racing games would be cool on the Wii I would think. Also, let's see some damb rhythm games that aren't terribly gimmicky!!

Asotoku: A Paper Mario RPG.

Terusama: World War II Funbuddies, fa sure. (ALSO SUP THORN)

Diddgery: I can't think of any good ones that remain unannounced! You have stumped me Thorn. Now go back with Zorn. He is waiting. Waiting, he is.

Diskmaster: How about the BUILD MORE WIIs game, that's supposedly in development.

Hello Everybody! I love the site! Are there any games on this site? I wonder.

RMD: Gosh, yeah. That's a good question. I wonder if like... maybe even Fan Games, like a Fan Games section or something. I wonder if KRR has a Fan Games section. I wonder if there's a link on the front page to Fan Games, where there are games. I wonder if patrick thought about that.

Asotoku: Not at all. The fangames section is really just a disguise for the secret Area 51 website. You've got us found out.

Terusama: HIT OR RUN

Diddgery: my fouvrit gam is pnog

Diskmaster: google is your friend.

Hey, I was checking your site and notice that in the enemy section of Kirby and The Amazing Mirror there is a description of the monster called Prank, just wanted to inform you that if you absorb it while it uses the frying pan, it will give you the cook ability. Also the site looks great =P.

RMD: I did not personally know that. And thanks, it was mostly Aqua and Kindar, to the best of my knowledge. So thanks on their behalf, really!!

Asotoku: Absorb? What is this, Dragonball Z? Go back to Japan.

glöd: Oh, okay. I never knew that. And I am being sincere! Unlike this Aso character.

I think this website is pretty awesome but I have a few questions.For some reason I can't send in Fan fiction(I write pretty good) and I don't know if thats my computer or not.Not being mean or anything,but is there another way of sending mail to you guys?I really think your website is cool and I would love to help make it better!

Diddgery: Send a 3x5 stamped postcard with your fanfic written on it to Fanfic Submission, Kirby's Rainbow Resort, Superfunland, Popstar P.O. Box 66646.

glöd: Fanfics is Ivyna's job, so that's her failing right there. Not really much that we can do about it.. And as for the mail thing NO.

Asotoku: I think this website is pretty awesome but I have a few questions.<space>For some reason I can't send in Fan fiction(I write pretty good) and I don't know if <it's> my computer or not.<space>Not being mean or anything,<space>but is there another way of sending mail to you guys?<space>I really think your website is cool and I would love to help make it better!

And you say you write good. For shame.

Terusama: Are you a bad enough dude to bother Ivy about this and not us?

Diskmaster: Sorry, not our position. Read the faqs.

mike kirby is my favourite kirby transformation.

RMD: Aren't you kind of biased, mike kirby?!?!

Diskmaster: ... that's nice.

Diddgery: my fouvrit kirby transformation is pnog

glöd: I'm more partial to his father Michael Kirby, but that's just me.

Terusama: Really? I like Billy Bob Kirby more.

Asotoku: I don't like Michael Kirby much. A bit too flamboyant for my liking. And they say he touches up little boys.

In your own opinion, answer this. Why does Meta Knight seem hotter in the Anime than in the Games? And I don't want any, "The Anime just sucks." Cuz it can be really cute... ^-^

RMD: You know what? The anime doesn't just suck. The anime is freaking terrible. And you're exactly why.

Asotoku: they added an (correct me if I spell it wrong, I'm not a girl) ajina and altered his bladder so the wee-wee came out of it and the boobs and the changing his voice(sometimes he has the same voice thing.) There! And I better be right or else

Diddgery: I find your attraction to a blue orb with hands wearing armor disturbing! I do thank you for not using the dreaded "k-word" as opposed to cute, though.

glöd: Meta Knight seems hotter in the games because he has the Antonio Banderas voice. Simply irresistable.

Terusama: Your name reminds me of Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito. Meta Knight + dimension-traveling lesbians = NO

Asotoku: ...And you wonder why we ignore you.

Terusama: Right in the ear, sir.

I believe (in your Cameos section in the character cameos in the Great Cave offence section,) that the Orihalcon is from Golden Sun: the Lost age.

Hope that helps. :P

RMD: NOT REALLY, NO. HOW CAN A THING FROM A VIDEO GAME YEARS LATER MAKE A CAMEO IN AN EARLIER GAME? NO, YOUR E-MAIL DIDN'T HELP AT ALL AND EVEN IF IT DID YOU E-MAILED THE COMPLETELY WRONG PEOPLE. THANKS SHADOW KIRBY. FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

The next person to e-mail us about KSS cameos that are entirely wrong is gonna get it a hell of a lot worse. I promise you.

glöd: Well, maybe someone from Camelot used a time machine to go back and join the KSS development team. Then they added it in as a reference. Thanks for the info!

Diskmaster: YOU ARE AN IDIOT, LAWLZ. Kirby Super Star came out before Golden Sun.

Diddgery: I bet you didn't know that the entire game is a cameo as Kirby is from Kirby's Air Ride! omg

Asotoku: It has also appeared in about 35 other games, around 8 television shows/movies, and a little less than 20 printed items. I bet it's a cameo to all of them, too!

curse me and my research

I GOT LOTS OF QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!?!!!!

- WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY IS SQUEAK SQUAD!
- MAMMASPHITTA! DO YOU GUYS KNOW MAMMASPHITTA!
- MY FRIEND IS BACK FROM THE HOSPITAL!!!
- CHAIN CHOMP IS THE BEST EVAH!!!
- KIRBY MUSIC ROXORZ!!!

Diddgery: I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING.

glöd: I REFUSE TO RESPOND TO THIS GARBAGE!!!!

Asotoku: I want what you're on.

Diskmaster: ... this has to be a joke, right? RIGHT?

RMD: How do I NAZO NAZO?

Terusama: We love dreaming big, so dream. And dream. Suki desho?

Hi,

I was wondering if there was a problem with the updates section on the front page, as I see a bunch of random text whenever I access this site with Opera (though it's fine with Internet Explorer).
Also, I saw that a while ago the Kirby 64 extra soundtracks were listed as temporarly offline, but the new K64 music page removes all notice of them. Where are the extra tracks? (I saw someone talk about it in the forums).

That's all!

P.S The Nightmare in Dream Land hidden switches page was really helpful ^_^

RMD: How do I USE FIREFOX? (Also Disk said to upgrade your version of Opera)

Asotoku: Hey, yeah. I get the wall of text when using the Wii opera system on the front page. I guess it has something to do with the CuteNews system, but I dunno how to fix it.

Terusama: i love skipping these, so skip. and skip. suki desho?

how much norris could a norris chuck chuck if a norris chuck could chuck norris

glöd: C = Vin Diesel + Mr. T - Jesus

Diskmaster: Lord Sarufang > Chuck Norris

Terusama: angels sang out, in immaculate chorus. down from the heavens, descended Chuck Norris. who delivered a kick, which could shatter bones. into the crotch, of Indiana Jones.

(i feel like a dumbass answering my own question haha)

What happened to the interactive map of PopStar? I can't seem to find it.

RMD: There was a forum topic about this. It was unreliable, and it's gone.

Just wanted to tell you that I love the site! However I'd like to submit some constructive criticism. Please, could you put a few limits on the entries in the caption contest? To be honest I think some of them are inappropriate. A few examples...(I am not making this up!)

"MK: Ooooooooh...Swooooord...You're soooo goood...
Sword: ...*Lust-filed moan*...
Tiff:WTF!?! O_O""

"I don't know. Were you legally able to marry Meta-Knight?"

RMD: More examples of why the anime sucks.

Asotoku: The caption contest ended. Years ago. Then again, that's probably when you sent this in. RMD and Bagel aren't good with deadlines.

Hello, I use to love coming to the kirby site every time a new kirby game was released. Now that Kirby Squeak Squad has come out, it has been out in Japan for two months now, and been out in the United Sates for about a month now. Though I know it wont speed it up, but you all seem to to update other parts of your site which are awesome, but when will Kirby Squeak Squad start getting some love. While we are on the game section of the site, Kirby Super Star lacks a large portion of its list, enemies, bosses all just disappeared. I remember the list was once completed back when I first came to this site back in 2001. Those are the things that seem to bug me. Also can't wait for the next kirby game.

RMD: We. Do. The. Mailbag.

Asotoku: Oh! A Kirby Fan! How many of you are there again?

Diddgery: Give us time, okay! It takes a while! Well to be honest I don't work on the site at all and I'm only here for the mailbag answering and stuff.

Terusama: Thanks for sharing, but not our problem.

Is there something weighing on your mind?

RMD: If Colonel Sanders were a teenager of the 70s, what kind of haircut would he have had?

Diddgery: clash on the big bridge wont get out of my head aaaaaaaa

Terusama: The incredible fatness of this question.

glöd: Your fat is collectively crushing my mind, even over the Internet...

Hello, I'm a french fan of Kirby, and I do understand english quite clearly (but can't write without error, what a shame, thank you if you can correct aniway)

Bref

I saw german translations of Kirby's comics.
But not french :'(
poor, poor french guys T_T

So, if you want, I could do it with pleasure :), just explain what kind of hum.. logiciel? application? I should use to do it ^^ (because I don't think I shall do it with paint, shall I?)

Merci d'avance :)

RMD: Bonjour! Sil vous plait, contact mega.warp@SSSSSSSSgmail.com! But remove the SSSSSSSS!

Terusama: CROISSANT

Diddgery: I CAN'T SPEAK SPANISH

glöd: Baxter you know I don't speak Spanish.

A. Would Kirby fit into a pokeball?

B. Bouncy, Keke, Boxy, Chuchu, and Ribbon(duh) all wear those red ribbons in their hair. Is that some popular style or something?

C. Is the mailbag dead, 'cause it's been all month.

(I'm trying to erase mailbag 33 from my head.)

RMD:

A. Don't we answer this like every other week?
B. Whatever helps you write those fanfics in the basement when you should be long asleep, Maxmelee.
C. Clearly no.

Terusama:
A. mudkip mud
B. mudkip mud
C. mudkip mud

glöd: That's not mud, Teru.
A. No.
B. Everyone dresses the same in the real world, so why make a big deal about game characters? :<
C. Yes.

Note to Self: Don't leave supper in oven

Asotoku: OH FU--

glöd: Is something burning?

Terusama: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND SHISHI ALWAYS BLOWING UP THE CHICKEN. EVERY TIME.

Reading 33.5, I agree.

BRING BACK NARF

glöd: *long list of things Narf has eaten* The last thing was himself...

Asotoku: OK

Narf: am I a convincing Narf or what

Terusama: NARF ATE EVERYTHING AND EXPLODED. SORRY.

OMFG RMD WHY DIDN'T YOU ACCEPT MAI FREND RECQUESSTTSS OMFG GOD I HATE YOU /ME SLITS WRISTS OMFG BTW BUY THE NEW BUCK 65 ALBUM IT'S DOPE STFU PEDO

ENJOY LIFE, LOVE POSTMASTER

glöd: buy my album it is dope

Terusama: Buck 65? I'll give you a buck 50, homes.

hi... so i guess you gies like kirby.so how did you gies make up KRR? i saw your gieses pictures. i do what you gies do. i jast take the comment, and i just live with it. my friend thinks i'm the best kirby drawer. but i don't know. am i? sort of, i guess.but i love that one drawing red_link did of that cupid kirby ^-^! it's cute! i'm a big kirby fan! are you gies?

Terusama: HAY GIES WHATS GOING ON IN DIS MAILBAG

Asotoku: Gies.

glöd: hey gies i didn't make krr

Asotoku: Also, you're a drawer?

glöd: Hold my socks, drawer.

Parting Comments:

Terusama: A+++++++++ WOULD BUY AGAIN

Diddgery: (Diddgery left halfway through to eat dinner because he was disappointed by this edition of mailbag.)

Diskmaster: (So did Disk. To play Yahtzee with himself all night long.)

glöd: I remember back when Mailbag didn't suck.

Oh wait no I don't.

Asotoku: I'll be in my trailer. Gies.

We got about 10 Spanish e-mails. Sorry guys, be like the French person and learn some English. It's sort of admirable when you do that, really!

Will Mailbag 34 ever occur? Will Bagel be in it? Will I be fired? Will any of these misanthropic fiends become regulars? Will everyone else get mad at me for not including them?

Find out next year!

Also hey Thorn, I thought of the franchise: There was a Bob Ross video game announced for the Nintendo Wii that seems to have fallen through. I know it doesn't adhere to your question very well, but that's my answer! The Bob Ross franchise needs to announce a video game for the Wii!

-RMD