April 20th, 2008

   Whoa! It's been a long time since we've done a mailbag. There hasn't been one since, what, Valentine's day!?
   Anyway, here we are!
With perfectly round cheeks and a horn,
this can only be that most familiar of cricecorns, Diddgery!

It may be small and agile, but its horn gives it powerful attacks. It’s what you would call an all-round character.
Wildrows’s image is typically that of a stereotypical sitcom mother, who is sometimes portrayed as naive and gullible. Despite having higher morals than most other mailbaggers, Wild has had her fair share of wild escapades throughout the mailbag's history. She was once took therapy for road rage, was jailed for shoplifting, became a gambling addict, showed alcoholic tendencies, was an unwilling participant in a cross-country police chase, overdosed on steroids, cheated on a cooking competition and developed amnesia. Wild can be somewhat of a doormat for her fellow mailbaggers, reasoning that they love her and mean well behind their various crazy schemes. While she puts up with a lot from her co-workers, even she has a breaking point; she has been known to fight with Shiro Ea few times to the point of leaving him (most notibly in The Mailbag Movie where she taped her farewell message over their wedding video) Eand does not shy from disciplining Diddgery when needed.
Despite his appearance, and female voice, Shiro is actually male. The reason for his femininity and, at times, androgynous appearance, is that he is the second of twin boys born in a village where twins of the same gender are said to bring bad luck. To hide this fact, he was raised as a girl, causing later his effeminate personality.
Shiro's primary weapon is a cannon, which he can use to launch cricecorns to hit his opponents or perform other unpredictable abilities.
As the last survivor of his clan, Chooch lived most of his life in seclusion on Angel Island, an island floating in the air; and as such he is something of a loner. His inexperience with off-islanders leaves him very honest, and also gullible. Chooch is shy around cricecorns. Although he is cool and determined in mailbags; his short temper gives rise to situations in which Chooch, often instigated by the trickery of Dr. NK, begins fighting Wildrows.
He’s making his entrance a little late, but here he is Ethe famous mailbagger, Magi!

This time around, he’s bringing his pride and joy, the guy who wrote in to the mailbag this week called Joshi. This inclusion ought to boost his macho, tough-guy reputation significantly.
Disaster blames his playing Chibi-Robo until seven in the morning for his late entry into this month's mailbag. He has never played it before, and when he plays a new game... he recklessly marathons it. He woke up two hours after the construction of this mailbag had started!
~Asotoku

Ramphy
Hey guys,
I've read quite a few of these but never sent anything in, so here goes...
First, besides the fact that he's a robotic penguin king, which is already enough to qualify anyone as awesome, RMD has some pretty sweet writing skills. I was reading this old RP on KRR from a long time ago and it was just hilarious how RMD was blowing all his own stuff up. Wish I could been there.
Anyway, I've noticed that since I was a kid, TV shows for kids have really hit dirt bottom. I mean besides the plain stupid material, it's not unlikely to hear a 'hell' or a 'dammit' anymore. Do you think video games are fated to go the same way, with even games like Mario spouting the occasional 'damn' or other swear word?
(At least Kirby is safe, since noone actually talks in the series.) Um...Have you ever thought of what kind of power Kirby would get if he sucked up you? -Ramphy
   Okay well uh, I don't think Mario will ever swear because if I ever heard Mario say "damn-a!!" in his crazy falsetto voice I think my mind would implode on the spot. But people are getting pretty lenient on swears nowadays, so I dunno. Oh and the other question, I guess Kirby would have like a horn drill action or something, I dunno.
   I have to find the DAMNING DAMN chaos HELL emeralds DAMN
kirby would get the power to control pool balls
   FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM
   There are already plenty of video games that have people swearing like the dickens in them
   :|
   Kirby would get the power of GREYSKULL.
   ..Also what's all this about RMD? He's been dead for months.

Kwakado
What is the coolest thing about the HAAAAAAAAALBERD?
   Hidden Tomato room. By far.
   Meta Knight's face on the front because he's such an egotistical maniac
   robot lobster
   that wacky cannon
   FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM
   The crew is great, especially Sailor Waddle Dee. He is the bravest!

Joshi
hello friends it is your old pal joshi :) i have two very very important questions that need answering:
how do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?
how can you connect in an age where strangers, landlords, lovers, your own blood cells betray?
there are important issues plz respond right away!!!!!
   snake, do you think love can bloom on the battlefield?
   
   La li lu le lo! La li lu le lo! La li lu le lo!
   WE'RE NOT GONNA PAY
   Mei Ling! Joshi took her clothes off!
   
   IF I PRESENT THIS PICTURE TO HIM GUYS I WILL THRUST HIM TO THE DIMENSION FROM WHENCE HE CAME

Not Bucky Katt
Welcome to the KRR Mailbag, where you can ask all your questions about Kirby, KRR, or anything else! Comments on any of those topics are also welcome. In every weekly (or bi-weekly, depending on how much mail comes in) installment, RR's official mailman, Asotoku, will answer your mail with a randomly assorted gaggle of folks.
Some basic guidelines: Sending us abusive or insulting comments is not appreciated, and will result in an IP block, meaning you won't be able to write us in the future! Also, remember that telling us to update a section will not get it done any faster and serves as nothing but an annoyance for our already stressed-out staffers, so try to be respectful as we lay back at the beach and sip tropical refreshment out of coconut cups. Errg! Stress!
However, no need to be nervous. Just say what you want and we will likely get back to you! Just remember to be respectful, and we'll do our best to return the favor =)
* Note: Please write in English!
   1) do you like kirby
2) is kirby pink?
3) if you were kirby, what would you eat?
4) is rmd coming back?
5) does diddgery eat bees?
6) how do you type with boxing gloves on?
7) can i be in the mailbag?
8) do you like pokeymons?
9) KIRBY LIKES SISTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
   I always wanted to write in to the mailbag!
   Dear KRR Mailbag: I've started growing hair in weird places. Is this nor-HEY WAIT A MINUTE
   Dear Mailbag Crew, why am I not in your party anymore? It seems like as soon as you recruited the guy that can attack from a distance, you stopped using me. Is it because I am weak and more of a joke character than anything? Please write back soon. Your friend, Diddgery.
   ..what
   ¿Cómo es formado bebE ¿Cómo chica se queda embarazada?

EEnEfreak
One thing to say about the theme:
Why ISN'T RMD awesome?
   This is a bad question :<
   rmd why am i a snowman
   Unless you're a newly hatched pod person, you already know that Mr. Robo Mecha Dedede, Esq., serving as judge, jury, and executioner, has decreed that unenlightened heretics are easily housebroken. But let me add that he turns his back on our most heartfelt pleas for mercy. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter but the conclusion's general outline is that his habitués consider his convictions a breath of fresh air. I, however, find them more like the fetid odor of fetishism.
   Even though Mr. Dedede's entourage controls illegal drugs and prostitution as well as banking, oil, defense, and the media, this does not negate the fact that Mr. Dedede insists that everyone and everything discriminates against him -- including the writing on the bathroom stalls. In the long run, however, he's only fooling himself. Mr. Dedede would be better off if he just admitted to himself that he's causing all sorts of problems for us. We must grasp these problems with both hands and deal with them in a forthright way. You shouldn't take threats made by antihumanist, blathering busybodies too seriously. But the problems with his editorials don't end there.
   I correctly predicted that Mr. Dedede would guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community. Alas, I didn't think he'd do that so effectively -- or so soon. If you think about it, his snow jobs are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that everything he says is totally and absolutely true and they promote the mistaken idea that it is not only acceptable but indeed desirable to brainwash the masses into submission. Yet there's more to it than that. While Mr. Dedede has a right to his opinion, if his attempts to jump on everything that is written, said, or even implied and label it as either blockish or dotty have spurred us to honor our nation's glorious mosaic of cultures and ethnicities, then Mr. Dedede may have accomplished a useful thing. The end.
   He floats in the air, belches ball-lightning, and boasts one hell of a big mouth. You're toast if you get too close to this monstrosity
   haruhi.
   :|

wilybanzai
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6KKTmX4ZIfY - exclusive footage of the latest kirby game. see now!
NOW TEH QUESTIONS, FROM TEH PWNAGE MASTER WILYBANZAI HIMSELF!
1. HOW DO I BUMP WISHLISTS?!!!
2. HOW DO I MAKE DOMAIN?! I CREATE B.K. DOMAIN! (Note: Not Burger King)
3. WHAT IS KIRBY'S MIDDLE NAME?!
4. CYBER W00! DO YOU GUYS KNOW CYBER W00???
5. RMD IS OVER 9000!!!
1. YOU ARE HUGE!
2. THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS!
3. RIP AND TEAR!
4. uhhh...
5. 45 DEGREES?
   1. what?
2. eh!?
3. hah!?
4. nandaaa?
5. WOROOOOOOOOOOOOORGH
   I hate you.
   On behalf of several members of the community, I would like to express my shock and disappointment at some of Mr. Wily Banzai, Jr.'s morals. But first, let me pose you a question: Is Mr. Banzai actually concerned about any of us or does he just want to reopen wounds that seem scarcely healed? After reading this letter, you'll undeniably find it's the latter. I am not predicting anything specific. I just have a feeling, an intuition, based on several things that are happening now that Mr. Banzai will irrationalize thinking on every issue in the coming days.
   If Mr. Banzai wants to deface property with racially and sexually derogatory epithets and offensive symbols, let him wear the opprobrium of that decision. I used a phrase a few moments ago. I referred to his partisans as "the worst types of rash varmints I've ever seen." You ought to memorize that phrase because, frankly, I, for one, want to unify our community. Mr. Banzai, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it. Now that you've read my entire letter, I hope you've concluded that my plan to appeal not to the contented and satisfied, but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented is deserving of serious consideration.
   1. WHY ALL CAPS?!!! 2. WHY MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS?! 3. WHY BAD QUESTIONS?! 4. NO??? 5. OVERUSED MEMES!!!

VBKirby
Hi there. I have one question for you.
What is the scariest enemy you have ever encountered in any NINTENDO game. By enemy, I mean standard enemies. Bosses and mini-bosses don't count. I also emphasis NINTENDO enemies since Xbox and Playstation enemies are all pretty scary. (Or so I've seen from screenshots.)
If I had to choose ONE enemy that scares me the most from any Nintendo game, it would easily be the "Low Floating Ghosts" from Luigi's mansion. You know, the ones that grab you. Those guys scare the heck out of me. The ones in "The Projection Room" scare me the most. Who are YOU afraid of?
   I dunno, Gibdos??
   um... nintendo? nothing then.
   I second Diddgery's answer. Gibdos and ReDead are creepy. But I'm not really afraid of them, they're just more annoying others.
   especially in the music box house in Majora's Mask
   uh doom was released on super nintendo right? i have to say the spectres because the game designers like putting INVISIBLE ENEMIES in DARK ROOMS so you'll be walking around minding your own business WHEN SUDDENLY WHY IS MY ARM GONE OH GOD
   ReDead, I guess? Don't play Ninty games anymore
   
   YABBO YABBO

HamsterMan
Thanks for the tip, Diddgery! No P in hamster. Got it!
Anyway, as for the theme for next week: Spelling lessons with Diddgery! If not, then Easter bunny: Harmless chocolate giver, or demonic child stealer!? You decide!
Onward, my friends, to the questions!
1. How did you get this site to be so successful?
2. Toon Link from Super Smash Bros Brawl, good character?
3. Have any of you ever Wi-fi fought anyone in Brawl?
4. Of the Kirby 64 abilities, which one is the best? Mine is Bomb + Cutter = Ninja Bombs.
5. What is your take on Ninja's anyway? And no, Pirate-based biases are not allowed. (Hehehe!)
~Thanks In Advanced~
~ HamsterMan ~
P.S. I still think Diddgery is the coolest.
P.S.S. In my Kirby game, I'd have . . . all of his abilities, ability to combine abilities (Like in K64), pirate ships, forty cannons, a pack of bees, and the main enemy would be a steak. Medium rare of course!
   1.) when they hired me, it was all uphill from there.
   2.) it's .. link.
   3. yes
   4.) never played 64
   5.) i dream of the day pirates and ninjas come to their senses, combine forces and take over the world. ninjapirate forever!
   No problem, Hamsterdude. Okay, now the questions time.
   1) I didn't really do anything? I'm not really part of the site's staff so yeah.
   2) YES HE IS THE BEST LEGEND OF ZELDA CHARACTER
   3) Yeah, but it lags a lot for me so it's not that great.
   4) I like the one that makes stone versions of the KDL3 animal helpers. Stone+Cutter, I think.
   5) meh i guess ninja warrior is a good show
   Ugh. I hate steak.
   1- I...I'm not sure. That's a question for Kindarspirit, I guess.
   2- Cat eyes...
   3- Plenty of times. H'lo there, lag!
   4- I can barely remember the combos, so I guess I'll just have to say the twin-blade.
   5- I like Pirates. But I hate One Piece. I'm funny.
   1. everytime we visit we secretly inject heroin into your body.
   2. oh absolutely not
   3. super lag bros. brawl
   4. whichever one turns you into the curling stone
   5. all ninjas wear orange and scream BELIEV IT! P.S. i am the coolest
   1. I did nothing :<
   2. Toon Link is pretty lame, especially when the people you fight against spam down aerials
   3. Yeah, and they were no match for Lucas' up smash!
   4. Never played it
   5. Ninjas are cool as long as they don't wear orange jumpsuits. P.S. I'm cool too, right :<?
   1) SublimYOU WILL VISIT THIS SITE MORE OFTENinal messaging.
   2) IDK
   3) No, I play Mario Kart Wii on Wi-Fi instead.
   4) FRIDGE KIRBY
   5) FRIDGE KIRBY
   SUDDENLY! the door flies open
   OKAY I'M HERE
   NEWCOMER
   DISASTER

Avlein
Dear KRR People.
For some reason, the KRR forums intimidate me. I scarcely am able to even check topics or read posts. What should I do mailbag?
Love,
Avlein
   chooch has that effect on people
   do the cool thing and follow my example - register, post about 10 times and then never do anything ever again. 10 out of 10 diddgeries approve!
   I approve of Shiro's message. ten times.
   Browsing the KRR forums is easy!
   After all..
   It's just a jump to the left
   And then a step to the right
   With your hands on your hips
   You bring your knees in tight
   But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
   Let's do the Time Warp again!
   
   Lurk around and get a feel for how the members of the community post, and read up on the rules and abide by them. Pretty basic stuff that practically none of the new users ever do. :U
   I do have that effect. My apologies.

Farmer Joeseph
You dang kids! Quit taking all my tumbleweeds! Don't you know how long it takes to make those?! And them big Hollywood production guys pay big bucks for them!
   Good sir, you can expect to hear from my lawyer within the next couple of business days.
   And by that I mean I'm suing your goddamn off
   Oh. Um. Uh. It was them
   You spelled Joseph wrong, y'know.
   I was not aware tumbleweeds grew on farms.
   are your tumbleweeds made of bacon? if so, where are you hiding the sandwiches
   You sir, are a liar. You don't make them as they grow naturally. I am Shiro's lawyer and I can't wait to tear your testimony apart.
   

Dark Hamsterlord
IF I CONTROLLED A KIRBY GAME, I WOULD MAKE IT NOT SUCK (I'm looking at you, Squeak Squad..) OH, AND META KNIGHT WOULD BE EVEN MORE BADASS THAN BEFORE, IF THAT'S POSSIBLE.
CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME.
Oh, and there is more! This time not in caps!
1. How do you like Brawl? Who is your favorite character? (I sure hope Shiro is in this mailbag..)
2. Diddgery is awesome, because he is a hamster, and as you can see by my name, I think hamsters are cooler than cows.
3. Merf?
4. I know you all like Kirby's Dreamland 3. Who is your favorite helper? Mine is the Owl. His name escapes me at the moment.
5. Is food delicious?
   hi there
   oh god
   there's a mosquito in here
   or something
   I'M DEAD AND COVERED IN bites.
   that was an awesome non sequitur
   I. AM. NOT. A. HAAAMSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
   1. Brawl is cool. Sonic is the best of course.
   2. Diddgery is not a hamster.
   3. NARF.
   4. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK
   5. When it's not disgusting, yes!
   1. uh dedede
   2. THIS IS NOT A QUESTION! REVOR IS ONLY A FRACTION AS COOL AS ME
   3. aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
   4. no kirby's dreamland 3 is so awful that it makes me choke
   5. cheese is food. food is delcious. therefore, cheese is delicious
   also his name is coo
   1. ...Kirby.
   2. ...But how much do you like cows? They both must be up there if you're comparing them... Cow-lover.
   3. Hurf? Durf?
   4. Hell yeah COO ALL THE WAY
   5. I hope it is!
   1- I dunno. I have a few I'm good with, but no real favorite. Uh... All of them? :D?
   2-I dunno man. Diggy is cool and all, but cows are pretty important, providing us with all that milk and all.
   3- :|
   4- His name is Coo, and yeah he's pretty cool.
   5- Depends on the food. I definatly don't like Steak.
   1) Oh, I'm quite enjoying Mario Kart Wii, thanks for asking. My favourite character is King Boo. On the Wario Bike.
   2) Diddgery is a cool goatfish, huh.
   3) Diddgery is a cool unicorn, huh.
   4) Kine.
   5) Diddgery thinks bees are delicious. Isn't that odd?

Karma
RMD is awesome because he post intelligent replies.
I never said if the same could go for the rest of you :)
But then again, what is considered to be an 'intelligent' reply? Think about that. Now, would you consider Kirby to be intelligent in his own way?
   im vry smrt
   :|
   damnit RMD has been gone for ages what are you talking abooout
   speaking of intelligence, is insulting us and then asking us a question really that smart
   also, kirby beats up innocent waddle dees and penguins kings because he misplaces a cake
   if that's intelligence then i fear the future
   please someone put me out of my misery
   rmd is dead and your stupid
   Get this crap out of my face

Nico_23
Erm, the next mailbag would be:
"What would you do if Brawl was cancelled."
Then replies would be like,
"OMFG I WWOOOOOOYYYYLLLLDDDDD DIYE."
Or:
"What is Kirby's WEAKNESS?"
Replies would be:
"Die."
I LOVE ALL OF YOU!coughDiggeryCough.
Questions:
1. What are you going to do if the last copy of Brawl was handed to you and a crowd of mad people were runing towards you? I would run, fast.
2. What`s the best game ever? It can be any game. Mine would be Kirby super star.
   Diggery again!? That blasted doppleganger will never cease tormenting me...
   WHY IS REVOR EVERYONE'S FAVORITE :(
   1. i don't have a wii so why would i be buying brawl!
   2. hotel mario
   1. i don't have a wii goddamnit
   2. MGS3, at least until 4 comes out
   What makes Diddgery so damn popular compared to the rest of us anyhow
   i propose a mutiny
   b-but shiro, i'm the pirate captain
   we can have a club called People Against Diddgery and people can be like HEY MAN, NICE PAD and we'll be like THANKS DUDE
   1. I'd take it and smash it to pieces in front of them :3
   2. It changes depending on the latest Ratchet and Clank game, right now it's Tools of Destruction
   captain falcon is the coolest
   i thought you loved me shiro
   It wouldn't look too good if fellow mailbag members made up this club, though.
   then you started working late, garnering the public's affections
   you never have time for us anymore
   where have you been diddgery
   come baaaaaack
   cooooome baaaaack
   but i'm right here
   *fires Diddgery out of Shiro's cannon*
   diddgery? DIDDGERY? DIIIIIIDDGERYYYYYYYYYYYYY
   Where are you again?
   traiiiiitooooooooooooor
   1- I would break it. Plain and simple. Right in front of them.
   2- I dunno. Everything and nothing.
   show me your moves

   Closing Statements:
   
   Theme for the Next Mailbag: What would you like to see in a Mario Kart-esque Kirby racing game? In terms of characters, items, stages, etc.
Last Updated - 04.20.08