December 24th, 2020

Just when you thought twenty-twenty couldn't get any worse, look who is back to rears its ugly head! It has almost been, what, ten years since a proper Mailbag? I figured now was as good a time as any to relive some days long-gone-by with not just some classic 'Baggers, but pretty much any classic Resorter who managed to come by the site from the time of RR coming back online and the posting of this issue.

So who knows who might show up?

Spoiler alert: No one shows up.

I don't think you can legally have a Mailbag without Bimblesnaff. I did that last joke installment and got taken to court for all I have.

Fortunately for me (and most unfortunate for 'Snaff), this just means he is now cripplingly depressed.

MailBagTron did not receive one metric tonne of fanmails and therefore refused to show up in protest.

Does anyone even remember this sock puppet gag? I didn't, and I created this thing~!

- Mints


Mush

I WISH I WAS A BEAR A FURRY LITTLE BE-

*blink* *blink* *blink* is the type-what-I-say 2050 still on? DAMN IT CHILLY YOU SAID IT WAS OFF!


*static*




.........


*ahem* Hi guys.....im mush ^3^! anyway i'd like to be on the mai- What? im doing what? oh-....DAMN IT CHILLY!

anywho....Bears? really?..>.>...anywho(X2).....do you think if a bear enemy appeared in a new kirby game i think it SHOULD give animal...if it didn't..Grrr...I HAT BS ABILITIES DAMMIT ICE!

Chilly:.....*runs*

There's plenty of animals in Kirby. It's generic enough of a term. What the ability entails is the presence of claws and digging. Unless it was a burrowing bear -- a Bearrower! -- then it's not likely.

And, please, Chilly, keep the TWIS-2050 turned off. That'd be better for us all.

No, you know you don't get a green card until you s-

Whoops, why did I ever buy myself a TWIS-2050?~!

N/A

If you had to choose one Kirby Fan Game to play, what would it be? If KW RPG II, would it be original or Dream Edition?

Well, there's something called the "Kirbj" series. It's, you know, like actual Kirby games and is not, as most Kirby fan games are, a bunch of unrelated content with the facade of Kirby in a watered down and tired game play format.

There is a Kirby Fan Games page on the site for a reason. Okay, I guess not. Most of those things are pretty lame.

Ehhh, a lot of those fangames are alright. I had to play them all back in the day to make sure they all worked.

Granted, this was XP, because, y'know, it was back in the day.

I think Tuesday Knight Titans doesn't even work anymore on KRR, and that is even after accepting all of the security warnings over Java applets.

How could I have known Java would have such a fall from grace? (And yes, I'm allowed to admit that I created Kirbj now.) I mean, freakin' Minecraft uses the stuff. Don't blame me for Oracle being, well, Oracle.

Kirbj is dead; long live Kirbv.

Or, I mean, please start to live, Kirbv, 'cause we ain't got nuthin' else goin' for us right now.

sweetums99

This 'Bag send in is comepletly Meta Knight themed! 1) What are your thoughts on Meta Knight's Spanish accent in the english Kirby cartoon dub?

2) What do you guys think of Meta's wings being removed in the anime?

3) Do you think it would be cute if Meta took off his mask and made puppy dog eyes? You could sketch it.

4) I think it would be better if Meta Knight was similar to Giroro from Keroro Gunso (Sgt.Frog). Don't you?

5)Which accent would you rather Meta have? Spanish? American? French? Australian? Or any others you guys might think would be awesome!

*Phantom Lucario pops out of his Pokeball* Uuuuhhh... In case you were wondering who the heck Phantom Lucario was... He's a Lucario who wears a Phantom Of The Opera mask and cape... Bye!

0) Meta Knight themed, huh? Very daring today, aren't we?

1) If he had a Spanish accent, he shoulda had a Spanish sword, like a rapier, and not the golden leaf that his functional blade turned into.

2) The wings were technically an addition to Meta Knight, and we don't actually know whether or not he had them. I believe they are technically a transformation of his cape, and his cape was tossed aside in his first appearance back in Adventure. Given that the top-tier fan-favorite is akin to Kirby, heavy body modifications are not outta the question when it comes to innate abilities. Maybe he ate a Flapper off camera? Maybe he kept a Babut in his shoe? Have you checked his shoes? I thought not.

3) You asked for this.

I can dig it.

4) I am going to say "no" since I don't know what nonsense you are speaking off. Not every fandom has crossover. You don't see me sayin' that ol' Knight should be more like Zelgadis, despite how much cooler it would make him: part demon, part golem, terribly voice acted after the first few appearances. See? Straight over your heads. Doesn't feel so nice, now do it?

5) Sean Connery (rest in peace).

6) No one was wondering this as it wasn't a thing until you explained it, which wouldn't have needed explained until you stated it, which was only stated in its explanation. Ouroborus much!?

2) Removing the wings was bad but adding noodle arms was perfectly okay to you?!

5) I have never heard of an Australian knight. Everyone knows that swordsmen are either English, French, or Spanish -- just like all pirates are just Scottish. Same with dwarves.

Rick Boogaard

Why am I addicted to Kirby?

Little known fact: Kirby's body is made out of 2000% sugar, making consumption of the pink puff a caloric rush that no other sweet can match. Now you're stuck chasin' that Puff-the-Magic Dragon.

Narrator: Gobbo spoke specifically of the slang meaning of "sugar".

The whole dragon thing still makes a lot of sense then.

Sorida

Hi Mailbaggers! It's me again, aren't you so happy? *cough, sarcasm, cough* Epic Yarn...sounds interesting enough. I have a feeling that most of the younger players won't really understand the double meaning of the title. Also, the word "epic" is starting to get on my nerve. Nevertheless, I think it will be fun and it will be my first Kirby story arc game (I've only played KAR and KSSU). Now, onto the most predictable questions ever!

1. If you had the chance to take over the world, would you do it? If so, how?

2. French fries or nachos?

3. You have the almighty powers of a street cleaner! How do you use them?

4. How do you handle obnoxious, stupid people? (When I say stupid, I mean reeeeaaaallllly stupid. You know what I mean, there's one such person in every town.) Oh yeah, they think they're a genious to...

5. What is the most frequently asked question you get? It can be for anything. For example, mine would be, "Is there any way to get you to SHUT UP?!?!?!?" Ahhhh, my friends rock...

6. What is the weirdest question you've ever been asked? Once again, this could be for anything.

7. Which is worse, hugging Ometon or facing the wrath of Bimblesnaff? Or having to answer to my insanity?

8. What's your favorite game outside of the Nintendo franchise?

9. Tacos, burritos, or quesadillas?

10. You are locked in the Fanfic section of the site with no way out! What do you do?

11. What does your mind consist of?

12. Last but not least, what is the first thing you think off when you hear/see the following words:

doom

coffee

staff

guitar

cupcake

Well, that seems like enough so I'll stop there. See ya! I'm going to go make more heads explode now. And bake cookies. Cookies are good.

0) I don't remember who you are, so my attitude is unfazed by your presence. Currently, I'm sittin' at a four, maybe? Kinda chilly here. Let's see how that progresses.

1) Taking over the world is a lot of work. Are you aware to the amount of minutia that goes into the day-to-day runnings? Nah, too much work. Now, destroying the world, on the other hand. Just call me Noah Jr.! Means of destruction: rainbows, for the sheer irony.

2) Clearly, spuds make a better medium for the inevitable topping mountain. Sure, the chips can better scoop it, but the base-to-topping ratio with fries is more agreeable. Really, the tortilla chips in nachos are just like the "real fruit juice" in any product that claims to contain "real fruit juice".

3) I know you mean this as a joke, but have you considered how absolutely frightening the powers of a street cleaner are? They weight in at ten tons, and you do not want to ignore that warning label with the thunder coming from the hand near the business end. Forget the rainbows, this will be the means to the end now!

4) "genious to" (sic). I got some baaad news for ya, Sorida. Why don't we have a seat while I show you this mirror.

5) """"Friends""""

Anyhoo, clearly it is frequently inquired just how I am able to type with boxing gloves on. Yep, that's what people ask me, and not some actually popular answer guy.

6) Pretty sure that I cannot repeat that question here, what with the kiddies' peepers unshielded. But, I do get asked it every time I donate blood, and I am beginning to be insulted.

The fun part is that there are multiple possibilities with this one, and each of them is awful.

7) Hugging/touching the Ometon. My wrath is more "mild" and less "caliente".

8) The Nintendo franchise, singular? Like, the multitude of series are all part of one connected universe? This changes everything! Barely!

Lessee he'e, non-Nintendo titles... Well, I can look over and see Armored Core, which is a fantastic series which I have owned and played multiple titles to. Reverse-joint legs, FTW~!

9) False, these foods are, in fact, identical to one another. I should know, after all, being kinda Mexican.

A) Lies! I find a plot hole and slip out into freedom. There's always a plot hole. It's not like these things are written with the utmost of concern for canon, after all.

B) I have jellyfish for brains. Wanna taste? Oh yeah, two The Slayers references, this is now a thing.

C) A crimson marauder (surprisingly not a reference to the Inverse Universe). Life. Cringe. Ax. Yum.

D) Are the exploded heads related to the cookies? You know what, don't tell me. I wanna eat them.

Why is Gobbo using the hexadecimal numbering? I'm supposed to be the compuperter programmarer! I can do technanological things! Lo and behold my prowess!

JAMESGHOST

Something as Cool, New and Hip as a KRR podcast is sure to make my dusty iPod mini fall apart, and spiders which roam inside its gears and cogs will spread in my house, and spiders are bad for everyone (that includes you).

first ones for the Diamyo guy and others if they wish, have-you-played-Okami?-because-its-bloomin-awesome! (and it reminds me of him).

second of all, would'nt it be cool if a Kirby game had a dark secret behind all its cuteness?

third thing, Scott Pilgrim: WHY DIDN'T YOU WATCH IT!?

my closing question is, *drumroll* why is Kirby so hard to draw when he is so simple!?.

The End

0) I dun think that an official iPod has any gears or cogs in it, given that it has no mechanical, moving parts. Pretty certain that they just contain overpriced pomp and sweatshop workers' tears.

1) I feel excluded. Sure, I've never played Okami, but I may be a Daimyo. You don't know what I've been up to behind the scenes. Maybe I time traveled to feudal Japan. Who is to say?

2) This literally describes every game in the series. Do you not pay attention, or are you just doused with "pep brew" at the time of writing this?

3) You're not the boss of me. I'll watch what I wanna watch. Perhaps the third season of a previously mentioned anime.

4) You know the saying: less is more. Being a "simple" circle gives the pink puff very little to work with. There are no real details to work with, which can usually be used as cover-up to tricky areas, like bent joints. Just look at all the junk Liefeld threw on characters. So many belts and pouches. So many nineties. Since the Kirb is effectively nek-ed, there is no room for error. Every line has gotta be perfect.

Is it weird at all that this mail bag is so out of sorts and order that we have a question from someone who was featured as a Bagger in not only the last real mailbag (or at least last full one?) but also a Daimyo comic about the mailbaggers?

I guess that is the least that can happen in a nigh-on decade.

BlazerKirby

Also known as David123, thnx.

On-topic:

1. "10 x Kirby = Kirby Mass Attack". Am I right?

2. Picture Whip Kirby riding on a horse. I dare you.

3. Which Bomb hat is better? The one in Kirby Wii or the one before Kirby Wii?

4. Which new copy ability sucks more? Whip or Leaf?

7. Aren't the coconut-throwing enemies from Mass Attack so cute?

11. Are you surprised that Water became a game ability rather than a anime-only ability?

Off-topic:

5. Is there a Kirby Wii U game coming up?

6. What ability will Kirby get when he inhales: Kogasa? Suika? Cirno?

8. Which doesn't belong? Waddle Dee-Koopa Troopa-Blade Knight

9. Define Kirby Squeak Squad in 10 words. Just 10 words?

10. I played Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland with Backdrop! That ability looks super awesome!

12. YOUR FINAL KIRBY: Picture Kirby with a AK-47 shooting Bronto Burts and Noddys while Meta Knight slices a paper-mache Waddle Dee-like object in half with the 3 Waddle Dees inside the paper-mache Waddle Dee object screams. (they're not dead yet)

0) Good to know. Not really.

1) Uh... sure?

2) Why would he be on a horse with a whip? A lasso, sure, but a whip?

3) The one that the Poppy Bros. wear, which I assume is the pre-Wii one. Is post-Wii the party hat/stiff conical?

4) Leaf just seems unnecessary. It's like "tornado but with debris".

5) This was asked in 2011, so -- in that context -- yes. I think?

6) I don't know what those are, so the attack has no affect on me. Ignorance, the most powerful defense! Drop outta school, kids, Uncle Gobbo said it's the cool thing to do when confronted with information that both scares and confuses you.

7) Are those the ones that look like the product of a decapitated Bonkers? No, wait, it's just Waddle Dee. Waddle Dee?!

8) Blade Knight: it's too advanced of an enemy to appear in the list.

9) Complete levels while dragging chests and avoiding mice enemies. ... dog.

A) Backdrop is the greatest ability in all of Kirbydom, so much to the point that the term Kirbydom is being used and not even flagged as a typo by my software. You can't prove that there's a squiggly-red under it. What are you doing, spying on my computer? If that were the case, you'd have gone mad, mad from that which cannot be unseen! Mwa-ha-hah!

B) Not really. It's a basic elemental power that can be set apart from the freezing powers, so it seemed only natural. The surprise came when Poison was introduced, effectively mirroring it but cooler. Because poison is always cooler.

C) Um... sure. Is there supposed to be something that I say here? That I could say here?

Shen Valor

Woo-hoo!! It's been a while! I'm looking foward to seeing Return to Dream Land. Especially since you can play as the Daiou himself.

1. How would you imagine Kirby as a human?

2. Smash Bros 4. What new Kirby characters would you like to play as?

3. Are there any creepypastas involving Kirby?

S

4. I'm doing a novelization of Kirby of the Stars (the first game). Should i have a few refferences to the anime?

1) I would first close my eyes, then I'd think. Think... think... Wow, it's really interesting. You should really see it. Boy, imagination sure is magical, ain't it?

Okay, fine, I won't do ya dirty like that. Luckily, friend-of-the-show and frequent doin' stuff guy Dedede-Daimyo made a pretty good mock-up for various characters. And, since he unknowingly checked a box without reading all the fine print well, I can not only use his previous Mailbag artwork submissions but am also entitled to his first born! That's gonna be a dang fine sammich!

Note: Apple pretty much uses the same clause for iTunes.

2) Animal Friends when? They could be like the Pokemon Trainer and tag out through the battle. Make Gooey, Chuchu, or Pitch the rider just for funsies?

S) S? S.

4) The only way the cartoon should be referenced is as a horrible dream to never be revisited.

1) As a human? Just as a human.

As a humanoid, a hairless, pink monstrosity with a wide, lipless maw, dead eyes, and the average American physique.

3) There is this one Kirby creepypasta about an S that shows up in unexpected places.

4) How many times was Kirby an eco-warrior in the first game? And there were no faux Cappy to speak of. The two properties seem incompatible to me.

?Enigman?

I look foward to seeing the new Kirby game in action. I live with three little brothers and they love Kirby. And since this is a 4-player game, we bros are gonna have a blast!!!

1. This is confusing me. Whenever I play as Meta Knight in Brawl, his turns into wings. And yet in Nightmare in Dreamland, he uses his wings WITHOUT the cape. Even talking about it makes my head ache.

2. Which Kirby game do you think is very underappreciated? For me, it's Kirby's Sparkling Kids.

3. Creepiest enemy in any Kirby game? (It's not an enemy, but I freaked when I saw 0 from KDL3.)

4. When I played Epic Yarn, I was surprised to see Prince Fluff. Mainly because he reminds me of another blue partner. Could Prince Fluff be a slight nod at Gooey?

0) Dang, people have families that large any more? Well, I guess they are pretty grown up by now. Yeesh, probably already having their own kids by now. Stop making the passage of time more crippling to my debilitating existential dread!

1) Hey, I think I referenced the wing/cape thing in this 'Bag. Neato. Anyhoo, you'd be surprised what chaff gets cut to make room for ease of design. A cape is often a hassle and gets in the way of most positioning and character animations. So, to have the best of both worlds, just try: inconsistencies! For when you just don't care that much.

2) I don't really think of many of the puzzle games as being real Kirby games, often because they began their development as unique properties that just had the likeable cream puff plastered on 'em to spice things up. Anyhoo, my go-to would normally be Dreamland 3, but I think its gathered some appreciation in later years as the wonderful game it always was. It's prequel and original-not-really-sequel, however, has no love. Probably due to never getting a remake or appearing on any on-brand emulation.

3) How is Zero not an enemy? It's the enemy of the title! But, I have to agree. Not the initial Zero form, but -- man -- when that eye pops out after you think the battle is done is quite the unsettling surprise.

4) Probably not. Fluff is more a teal shade, not blue. Dark blue is the artistic opposite to pink, but teal is the spectrum opposite when using the RGB system and not just... feeeels.

0) For reference, this letter was submitted in 2011. It is currently 2020. We never used to state when the questions were asked since it typically didn't take us a decade to get around to them.

But hey, it was August 2011, so that was already after I deskflipped like a relevant meme from around that time.

2) Amazing Mirror is just Great Cave Offensive on 'roids. Which I mean as a compliment, although I do not compliment the usage of 'roids.

3) Benny now, Benny yesterday, and Benny forever.

It's not even a question as to what it is, but why it is.

4) Wasn't Epic Yarn originally not a Kirby game with Prince Fluff (or something similar in appearance) as the protagonist? That seems more like a Gurus Q.

Bimblesnaff

YOU ARE ALL FIRED!

vhhfjvyrdrxjeugmfk fdhvreifnfTURKEYdhgnbhvirnbgje ghejfbhtndb tiahgefjrhhjffyf4n c Fart!

Skweekee Boagge Seaz soa!

yu iZ dum!

Love, Bimblesnaff! <3

Hey, I don't remember actually sending this letter. How deep into the pep brew was I that night, nine years ago?

The answer is "very", as the answer is always such.

Narrator: This would not be the last fart joke of this mailbag.

Teleyphoneguy

Hello, this is Teleyphoneguy's Teleyphone company! Please hold for a very long time while we play this extremely annoying music!

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DADA DADA DA

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DADAdadaDADAda

daaaa daaaa da

DADADADADADAda

dadadadada DA

dadaDADA DAda

DAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DAAAAAAAAAAAAA

daaaaaaaaaaaaa

dadadadadaDADA

DA DA DA DA DA

dada dada dada

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DADADADADAdada

DAda DAda DAda

DADAAAAAAAAADA

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DAAAAAAAAAAAAA

dadadaDAAAAAAA

DAAAAAdadadada

dadaDADAdadaDA

DAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DAAAAAAAAAAADA

DADADAAAAAAADA

DAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Awww, it stopped just when it was getting good.

How progressive that the company is calling us to have us wait for a business or service we never requested.

I mean, I guess that's progress? Seems like something square-pegged into the round-hole for current-year at least.

grey

hello there! i have some questions for you!

do you people like waddle dees, you guys think they are cute?

also...have you received an extremely stupid question ever here?

1) They're alright. But Waddle Dee with a hat? Too cute!

2) Oh yeah. There are random strings of nonsense characters generated from smashing the keyboard with -- I assume -- one's elbow. Sometimes they just say the most inane nonsense and believe themselves to be funny. Nah, man. Nah. Naaah. This here is all finely crafted gold, no wasted movement. For example, why did I choose the elbow as the typing method? Why not foot, or nose? Genius is why! ... probably?

chilly

what's your favorote animal freind?

Rick is the best. That's not an opinion. The other guys are specialists while Rick is useful at all times.

How exactly is Kine not useful in every situation?

He can jump one extra block high.

Climbing walls means nothing compared to a slightly higher jump.

Grand Papillon

*on an airplane* It would seem people want an encore. Looks like it's time to deliver another heaping helping of strange...!

Yuri: Don't you need a Parasol?

Puh-leeze! You know me! OK, I'm goin' on!

*jumps down from the plane*

Yuri: *sigh* He's so damn reckless.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! *lands on feet*

*muscle flex* One... two... three... go! Grand Papillon has returned, delivering more questions and strangeness that YOU love! Last time on The Kirby Rainbow Resort Mailbag Show, (AKA Kirby Rainbow Beach Club to some) Grand Papillon (that's PAPILLON, by the way, NOT Papillion!) SHOCKED readers with his zany out-of-placeness. And now, it's time for PART II! *makes peace sign*

In honor of this week's Mailbag theme, I wish to talk about my own Kirby game idea for a minute or two! Bear with me now... it starts out with Kirby going to the Pop Star Festival, m'kay? Now, he has a good time, a good time he has, playing Mini Games with stars, jars, and bars. While watching the main event, DeDeDe decides to play a prank. He makes a trail of Maximum Toh-mah-toes onto the stage, and then you go into your first boss fight!

After kicking the performer's boo-tay, suddenly an evil being comes and crashes the par-tay! He sends Kirby, DeDeDe, and the performer, who happens to be a female firestarter, oh let's call her Pyra, on a trip through time! But not the overdone prehistoric times like you'd expect... I'm talkin' 'bout from lookin' like an Atari character, allllllll the way to the current 128 bit era! I call it... Kirby's Time Truffle! Rated G for Groo-vay!

*sips on tomato juice* That was certainly a mouthful! Allow me to break up the monoto-nay by asking some questions... ay!

I: Question one, your name again is... Toons!?

II: What was y'alls FAAAAAVORITE cartoons when y'all were young!? I'm talkin' like, sixth grade and under!

III: If Kirby's Time Truffle was created, what would the reviewers say!?

IV: If Marx and O2 fused, what would they become!?

V: If Kirby were to inhale y'all, what abilities would he gather?

*school bell* Oop, did you hear that? Apparently not, but it looks like it's...

*spotlight comes on self*

Too late... my time has come...

Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time...

Goodbyyyye everybody... I've got to go...

*record scratch* Until next time, anyway! Stay tuned for further adventures of Grand Papillon!

*changes into Golden Bat and flies away*

Dance like a bat! Swing like a bat!

0) Iiii... don't think that means what you think it means.

o) Are we supposed to know what a "female firestarter" is? Sounds like one of them pogey mans. Also, I like the idea of a prehistoric Pop Star with dinos and Nean-Dee-thals. Once you went into the fourth-wall breaking travel-through-technology, ya lost me. For shame, person who will never know that this question was eventually answered. How will you sleep at night? Probably the same as you have for the past eight years.

1) This... isn't actually a question. It's a statement, about my name! You don't know who I am!

2) This technically falls within the criteria that you fined, so Project Geeker! And I just found out that it had executive production by Douglas TenNapel. How did I not make that connection prior? It explains so much!

3) "This game is only a title and a confusing blurb. There is no actual gameplay to speak of. How did it get this far down the pipe? What are we to even review?!"

4) Morx2. I imagine that'd just be final-form Marx but with the red "feathers" of O2 and a giant eye inside its mouth.

5) Heartburn. I am very greasy, don'tcha know?

What? I don't have any actual abilities. I don't shoot fire or generate electricity. I'm just a person! Yep, no secret, hidden abilities here. Totally not a super villain at night. Who said I was trying to take over the world? Sounds like nonsense to me, heh-heh.

6) Hey now, we don't have the rights to that song. Cut that stuff out before we get sued!

Ramphy

Hey guys,

I've read quite a few of these but never sent anything in, so here goes...

First, besides the fact that he's a robotic penguin king, which is already enough to qualify anyone as awesome, RMD has some pretty sweet writing skills. I was reading this old RP on KRR from a long time ago and it was just hilarious how RMD was blowing all his own stuff up. Wish I could been there.

Anyway, I've noticed that since I was a kid, TV shows for kids have really hit dirt bottom. I mean besides the plain stupid material, it's not unlikely to hear a 'hell' or a 'dammit' anymore. Do you think video games are fated to go the same way, with even games like Mario spouting the occasional 'damn' or other swear word?

(At least Kirby is safe, since noone actually talks in the series.) Um...Have you ever thought of what kind of power Kirby would get if he sucked up you? -Ramphy

1) Sure, okay. Not really a question and not really a statement about RMD, either. "Great writing, he blew stuff up." Are these connected? Is there something that I am missing? Is writing like action movies and it just needs explosions? In that case...

2) That's your take? Here, I thought shows have taken a stark up-tick. Now, I'm gonna separate "baby" programs and children's programs, which is a distinction that I believe you are already making, but shows in the 80s and 90s were often just glorified half-hour commercials for toys. Now they have plots and character growth. That was really hard to find before where now it seems pretty common. Might be some nostalgia goggles tinting your view there. I should know, having thought that He-Man was good until revisiting it in adult years. Garbage, through and through.

As far as language is concerned, I usually hear sailor talk from preteens, so everything is going into the toilet, yay?

1) I have only known of RMD since he became a not teenager, so my views of him are very different from those who had to deal with his shenanigans. He was still probably easily more bearable than most the lot here. At least be upfront with your plots to overthrow the Rainbow Resort like a gentleman!.. gentlebot~!

2) Eh, childrens shows are hit-or-miss, regardless of era. You can go back and watch unwatchable fare from the '80s or strike gold like Visionaries, and the same is true today.

I guess it depends on what you consider kids' TV and what networks consider kids' TV.

Uh-oh, that almost read like a real answer. I better Mailsack this response up:

Fart.

That doesn't count as the promised fart joke.

raocow

hey there everyone, this is raocow.

Methinks one is making too great an effort. I bet you aren't even this "raocow". I bet you are a Mitch or -- worse -- John!

Get out and never come back, you assumed-liar! Which, pointing out the previously pointed out pointy time point, is likely to be true from this point forward, and probably-Johnny will never know that probabl-he played right into my request. Sucker!

(note: time is pointy as it is a cactus. science.)

mrgameandpie

Would Let's Plays ever be put up for consideration as a new addition to the "fan creations" section of the site? The last time the site was active was back when such series were in their early days of development, but these days there are many people who create both video and typed Let's Plays of all sorts of games, Kirby of course being included. If nothing else, it seems like it would be an area of active contribution.

Yes. Wait, maybe. Were these already done? Are these already updates that I posted years ago? Great, now I am questioning my very own doings, and whether or not the term "doings" is even a thing!

You did already post these, but this letter is from slightly before you actually posted these Let's Plays.

It took almost a year for this Mailbag question to realize itself as a fan submission update.

.... I think KRR needs a better way for fans to submit stuff.

TheHorselessHeadman

Hi all! I want to know how I can help get this site up and kicking like was back in the day.

Magic? Time travel? A potion that nerfs apathy?

These things are available on Amazon, right? Everything can be found there.

I mean, would you even want Rainbow Resort operating like it was back in the day?

Maybe everyone who couldn't peek behind the curtain had a different view of this joint, but for everyone else, yeeeeeesh.

I'd opt for an alternate reality instead of a simple time shift. Sure, there is a chance that the other reality could have a worse KRR than ours... but, well... not really.

Kirbylinkzelda

why'd you guys get rid of the interactive story feature? I was here (on a different account I can't remember) back when it was active, and I kinda miss it.

I don't know to which you are referring: the Storybook (which never went anywhere) or the Next In Line collaborative writing system (which kinda went somewhere, or at least was really hard to find).

Waitaminute, I'm supposed to answer questions, not ask them. This is all very backwards.

That's the strange new direction we're takin' this baby: we're askin' the Q's to youse~! First on the choppin' block: since when did I start saying youse? Have I relocated to the east coast? Does this mean I can finally get some decent lobster? What will come of my shellfish allergy?

All these questions and none will not be answered next time!

Wait, I actually lived on the east coast, and I don't remember anyone ever saying "youse".

Unless you consider "east coast" to mean "talking cats from popular, long-running anime".

And for some reason, we all know that you do.

SuperDoom

Do you agree that there should be another crossover between the Zelda series and the Kirby series, only instead of fighting each other like in Link's Awakening and SSB, Link and Kirby should team up to fight Ganon and Dedede?

I dunno how you're gonna beat that Link's Awakening cameo where the Kirb just flat-out eats the protagonist of the series. Really, wasn't this the set-up for Smash Bros.? I'm gonna say yes because I call the shots here, and they are very high proof.

Fun fact, you can get above two-hundred if you tamper with the atmospheric pressure and temperature. I mean, probably. Right, science?

Mysterious Heroine X

Wow...it's been a while since I was last on this site. I think it was 6 years ago...

Anyway, here are my questions:

1) Are you excited for Kirby Star Allies? I plan on getting a Switch for it!

2) What do you think of Kirby Battle Royale? I'm unsure if I want to get it.

3) Which game did you think was better: Triple Deluxe or Planet Robobot?

Thank you for your time!

0) So you strolled on here after a number of years away and thought "Wow, it hasn't been updated in what looks like years. I'll ask a question here and expect an answer." You, sir- *checks handle* -madam, have yourself some optimism.

1) I... still need to purchase it. Even now in the future. Do have the switch, tho'.

2) Pretty sure that's just the latest iteration of Smash Bros. with less options, ain't it? And it has not only Kirby, the King, and Meta Knight but, you know, all those other franchises. Sounds like a fuller package than Kirby with powers fighting each other.

3) Robobot, hands down. The gimmicks between the two alone have a stark and clear winner. In the latter, you can apply abilities into massive robots that modifies the gameplay and introduces interesting takes on puzzles and other opportunities. In the prior, you... had a glorified cut scene with the super-inhale. You didn't do anything, play-wise, with this power. It just pulled everything away each time you used it. Cool, thanks.

4) You're stealing my time? Hey, give that back! I need that to waste on boring, daily minutia. And the holidays are nigh, and my family is sooo boring. Especially my brother.

Jun the Bob-Omb Ace

Despair into tomorrow, despair into your memories, despair into nothingness.

To give you a proper idea of just the level of despair to which this letter refers, it was submitted December 4th, 2017 -- about three years prior to the time of answering.

Considering the Troubles the Resort has encountered in the last nine years, your despair ain't no thang.

Oh, here I thought you were gonna say somethin' along the lines of: "Hey, Jun, ya are 'bout two years too early with your End-is-Nigh sigh toutin'."

Ha-hah, because everything is awful, even outside the walls of the spectrum spa.

Keeby

Do you think Kirby's appetite/tastes ever change? Is this possibly the reason why different foods appear on and off in each game, such as various cakes and the superspicy curry?

I think Kirby just realized he shouldn't eat things that make him gassy.

The forbidden Sweet Potato -- to tasty, yet so farty.

It probably has more to do with the technological restraints of the system and the available graphics. For example, available foods when your screen can display four different shades of cream spinach: a lump with the letter M, a speckled leaf, a bottle of pre-Monster Energy Drink pep liquid, and a splotchy ellipse? Foods available with a sixteen-bit system and actual color palettes: actual food.

Then there's the cartoon, which just changed things because its very existence was only to spite Kirby and his fan base. Fight me.

Anna

I just want to say that I really miss this site. I used to come on here all the time when I was in middle school (2009/2010ish). Me and my best friend spent a lot of time writing the collaborative story together.

I'm thankful for the good memories you left me with.

I can see that there hasn't been an issue of mailbag since 2016, so there's not a lot of hope to see a response to this or another question/comment I sent a year or two ago.

Thanks for being a cool website.

Maybe this will go to somebody's email and it'll give them a smile.

Wait, were you Kirbylinkzelda? Wow, you actually were referring to the collaborative writer? That was just a vanity project I did because I like writing. I didn't think anyone actually used it, let alone remembered it!

I can honestly say that it is difficult to read the splintered threads all these years later. I was just going through it earlier today, in fact. There are some real gems in there.

It is weird how many people come back to KRR all these years later and cite years in the range of 2008 to 2010. I think this place had its heyday before then, but that was mostly dubs or maybe forums shenanigans like RPs and the like.

Gobbo especially really put his all into giving this place character during those years, and being the talent vacuum I am (in more ways than one~!), I just tried my best to allow all sorts of displays of fandom.

And here I thought going back to KRR one last time (maybe?) to unbreak it for the infinitieth time would have to end on a depressing note.

Thanks for making me smile, Anna.

Wow. It really is a touching note that we should cap this very special, eggnog edition of the Mailbag on. It really is easy to forget in today's fast-paced world that always seems to be teetering on the edge of plunging into chaos with very windy conditions reported for the foreseeable future, (comma not necessary but feels needed) that we made people happy. Don't have to change their lives or even make their day, just part of it.

Touching? Schmultz? Hey, that's not the 2010 flavor! We were mystery flavor, not ... um, cherry? Butter rum? Did I just make up butter rum?

Happy Holidays from the ... uh... Mailbag Brothers?

This is what the holidays are really about, amiright?

...

....

...........


You suck.


Next Time~! How should I know?

Closing Statments: Well I hope you enjoyed this episode of Uncle Gobbo Ruins Everything. I told you no one would show up to the mailbag at the start. ('Snaff and I don't count, clearly.) If you got your hopes up, that is squarely on you.

Anyhoozle, KRR has been undeaded yet again. Not sure what will come of it this time, other than the seemingly semi-decadial Mailbag. Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas? No? You wanted a pony? You wanted to eat it?! You are one sick puppy, Kirby~!

And you ate the puppy, too, Kirby? C'mon!

Rate Mailbag 86 - Beginning To Look A Lot Like Mailbag:75% -0+

3 comments have been posted (Add Your Own):


congrats on 12 years of mailbag

Actually the first Mailbag on this site was... well, it doesn't have a date. I guess if the "last updated" at the bottom is an indication of when the first mailbag was, it's... almost twenty years??

KRR has a chance to have lasted longer than Macromedia Flash. Or... Adobe Flash? Those were the same thing, right?

Comment by Duth Olec on 1:50pm Jan 1st, 2021 (Report| Reply)

Ah yes, the good old mailbags. Those were some good times!

This was a lot of fun to read lol

Thank you for all your dedication! 😊

Comment by Chibi Manny on 8:47pm Jan 1st, 2021 (Report| Reply)

Talking about super abilities and Hypernova and such reminds me of my 'ol review discussing, well, all of those things back then!

http://www.kirbysrainbowresort.net/fan/abilityreview/super_mrgameandpie.html

Giving Hypernova at least a little more credit, it did have several of it's own boss battles, essentially harkening back to the Dream Land days of inhale/exhale focused combat.

Comment by msgameandcake on 2:16pm Jan 21st, 2021 (Report| Reply)

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Last Updated - December 24th, 2020