The fire burned brightly, dancing
flames casting odd shadows on the surrounding rocks. It was a
decent fire for once, since whatever demons still around would
assume the smoke was something from the hot springs. Joe sat
leaning up against Gardell, both of them wrapped in a blanket
against the chill. Joe was relaxed from the hot springs and had
all ready eaten, and could easily say this was the best he’d
felt in months…
“Gardell?”
“Hm?” He looked over at the
boy. He wasn’t wearing the usual black armor on his shoulders
tonight, though his weapon was still within a foot or so of him
should anything happen.
Joe looked up at the sky, clear
now. He wasn’t sure what to say. “You’re not like… a lot
of the people I’ve met.”
He laughed, briefly. “Is that
good or bad?”
“Well… you’re really nice
to me…” Joe’s voice lacked its usual smug confidence,
fumbling around for what he was trying to say. “I mean my aunt
took care of me but I think it was because she had to… She
felt like she owed it to my parents… But you…” Gardell
didn’t say anything, waiting for Joe to finish. “Damnit, I
don’t know. I don’t see why you’ve done all this…”
Gardell was silent another
moment. “I just… care about you…” He smiled warmly, eye
reflecting the firelight as he reached up, gently putting his
hand to Joe’s face. “You… remind me of someone special to
me… Someone who’s gone now… But I just sense something
special about you. It sounds strange, but…” He shook his
head, looking down into the boy’s large eyes. “Maybe it’s
a kind of love. I can’t explain it…”
Joe wasn’t sure what was
happening. Gardell’s face was getting closer, his hand cupping
his face, an oddly tender gesture. And then he was very close
and before Joe could move back his mouth was locked with his,
lips touching only briefly but so very obvious what this was- he
was being kissed by this man and he couldn’t move and
all he felt was something like his heart had fallen down into
his stomach and bounced back up into his throat, beating too
fast-
And then he fell back, scrambling
out of the tangling blankets, eyes wide with some unknown
emotion. Then he got up and ran.
~*~
Joe didn’t go very far, in fact
he just ran into the cave nearby for lack of anywhere else... He
had never felt so damned confused in his life. Not sure why he’d
ran in the first place he slumped against one of the blanket
rolls, panting slightly. His heart was still racing, and not
from the exertion.
He put his hands through his
hair, staring down at the ground and trying to gather his
thoughts. He wasn’t sure what had happened- no, no he knew
exactly what had happened, but he’d never expected…
Gardell had said it was some kind
of love but… it didn’t make sense. You were supposed to love
some pretty girl or something. That’s what he’d always seen
anyway, and heard but maybe that wasn’t the only kind of love.
Joe had never bothered with girls
or anyone really. He just hadn’t thought about such things.
There were more important matters anyway; he didn’t want to
bother with some silly little girl. Or worse, a scary one like
his aunt.
It felt… different from what he’d
felt before in his life, the things any boy growing up would
feel, maybe seeing some picture in a magazine he shouldn’t
have been looking in but this just felt so much stronger, it was
a different sensation…
There was little issue about a
guy loving another guy where he’d come from- if it happened it
happened, no one ever made much of a fuss over it. But…
Gardell was an adult. Joe, despite how he denied it, was just a
kid…
He grit his teeth, tugging at his
hair. It just didn’t make sense!
His brow furrowed slightly. It
hadn’t felt… bad, really. Strange and awkward and foreign
but not bad. He didn’t feel disgusted, just confused
and nervous… What did that mean?
It wasn’t long before he saw a
shape silhouetted at the cave entrance.
“Joe? Are you there?”
A pause. “…Yes.”
A scrape as Gardell walked in,
followed by some shuffling and a click as one of their small
lanterns flickered into life, casting a soft glow over the cave.
Joe didn’t move, not sure what he was supposed to say or do.
Why had he…
“I’m sorry Joe… I just…”
Gardell waved his hand, as if trying to grab the right word. “I
guess I can’t help myself sometimes…”
Joe said nothing, bringing his
knees up to his chest and staring at the cave wall. Maybe he’d
even liked it but how could he say that… It would sound weird.
He wasn’t even sure if he had liked it.
“Are you okay?” A hand on his
shoulder. Joe twitched but he didn’t pull away. Gardell sat
next to him, and looked like he would have mimicked the boy’s
posture except for the fact his race lacked knees. “I know
that was… sudden… I’m truly sorry if I upset you…”
No, he wasn’t upset! It was
weird and he didn’t understand but he maybe maybe
almost had liked that feeling, maybe it was some kind of new and
adult feeling and he wasn’t supposed to understand but he…
liked it… But was that right?
They sat in silence for a several
minutes, the lantern dimming slightly. It was too much…
He turned then, not even thinking
about what he was doing. He reached up, grabbing the man’s
shoulders and pulling himself close again, like before. He didn’t
know what he was doing or whether he should be doing it, but he
just wanted to feel that again…
His eyes were closed but Gardell
guided him, hand at his back. Joe’s mouth went to his again,
hesitantly… then more forcefully, pulling himself up, on his
tiptoes now, pressing against him. And as he felt the man’s
other hand on his head, fingers through his hair, pulling him
into an almost fierce embrace, but he reveled in the feelings
that trilled through him, something strange and new and
something felt off but that was just because he’d never felt
like this before. There was a hot flash of Gardell’s tongue
darting briefly in his mouth, it was bizarre but it somehow felt
good and he didn’t want to stop…
But then Gardell pulled him back,
looking down into the boy’s eyes, smiling gently… His hand
cupped his face again, and he just looked at him for a moment.
“I… take it you’re okay then?”
Joe could only nod, heart racing
once again. It almost felt like fear, that adrenaline rush he
got when fighting something dangerous, but it wasn’t that…
He just couldn’t place it… He didn’t really care…
He stayed like that for a while,
head resting on Gardell’s chest. He could hear his heartbeat.
Slow and steady, unlike his own which felt like a bird
fluttering in his chest. A hand running through his white spiked
hair, the lantern light slowly dimming as the oil ran out…
Joe sighed, still not sure what
to say, but he didn’t really need to say anything.
~*~
The next two days went by all too
fast. Though Joe didn’t really bring up what had happened that
night, something felt different. But it was a good different, he
felt. Like he’d crossed some kind of barrier. He could be
closer with someone, even if that someone…
No, it didn’t matter. He felt
happy and planned on staying that way. Don’t sweat the
details.
They had to go back though, to
get more supplies and then return to the other shelter, hidden
in the now dormant forest. Providing no one else had decided to
make it their home, in which case Joe would only feel sorry for
them. Gardell wouldn’t let anyone know of where they were
staying. Too risky.
Joe packed his few belongings and
they were on their way. It was colder now but the trip was
uneventful. They went to the larger settlement first, Gardell
stopping at Trevor’s as he always did to trade. Joe stayed
back a little, his arms inside the large sweater to keep his
hands warm. He wore gloves but they didn’t protect much
against the cold…
He watched the two of them speak
but didn’t listen to what they were saying. He saw shadow pass
over the side of the tent, illuminated red by a setting sun.
Nothing of interest… He waited until Gardell finished and
followed him outside.
“…You’ve been quiet.”
Gardell said softly as they headed home. Joe was walking next to
him, focusing on the ground. “Something bothering you?
Of course. “No…” he said.
“I just don’t have much to say…” He had a million things
to say.
They were in the forest, alone
again. It was almost dark now but Gardell didn’t have a
problem finding the way.
“Joe… This isn’t like you…”
Gardell was just a blurry shape in the dark as they arrived at
the ruins. “…You’re still upset by what happened…” It
wasn’t a question. There was a dull thump as the supply bags
were dropped.
“I’m not!” he blurted,
stopping there. He stood there for a moment, mouth dry. Then he
felt Gardell’s hands on his shoulders, and could barely make
out his face in the gloom.
“Then what is it? …Are you
afraid?” His tone wasn’t teasing, just… concerned,
confused perhaps.
Joe’s mouth worked uselessly
for a moment. He’d never felt like this. He didn’t feel in
control and that bothered him…
“It’s all right…” Lips
brushed his cheek then, hot breath on his face. Joe tensed.
“…I’ll stop if you want me to.”
Why did he have to say that? He
cringed. If he was afraid then he could tell him to stop but- no
he wasn’t afraid, there was nothing to be afraid of. Was
there? Gardell’s hands moved to his sides, drawing him closer.
It was just something new, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew what
could happen if he didn’t say to stop, but he’d never done
it before, he didn’t know what it was like…
Hands under his shirt now,
lifting it up, off. Going too fast now but he didn’t, couldn’t
stop now, he wasn’t afraid…
But Gardell stopped, sensing the
boy’s anxiety. One hand stroked his hair- he’d taken his
gloves off. “Are you okay?” His voice was low, there was an
odd sound too it. Restraint?
Joe nodded, barely. His own body
felt hot and trembling, face flushed. There was this thrill to
it, but his doubt tainted it. “I…” He swallowed hard, his
mouth still painfully dry. “I want to…” What did he want?
Why?
Gardell responded before he could
finish, understanding. “Don’t worry Joe… You have nothing
to worry about…” And then he reached up, brushing back his
hair and just kissing his forehead. He smiled, stood up and went
to start a fire for the night.
Joe stared at him, eyes wide. Why
had he stopped? In a way he felt relieved but… Well, it wasn’t
as if Gardell was suddenly going to start making sense.
“Want anything to eat?”
Gardell looked over at him as he got the fire going, the tiny
flames eating up the tinder. As if nothing had happened.
“Um… yeah, sure.” Joe didn’t
really feel all that hungry, but it was better if he ate
something. He sat down on one of the bedrolls, sighing. This
wasn’t going to get any less confusing, was it…
~*~
Joe was overjoyed to be able to
train again. It was a great way to blow off stress and in a way
it helped him relax. He always felt better after training, tired
but it did a great job of getting rid of tension and worry he
felt… For a while, anyway.
He hadn’t expected himself to
be so out of practice, however. Or maybe he was still too damned
distracted, he realized.
“DAMNIT!” He screamed,
punching the ground as Gardell dodged his attacks for the
umpteenth time that day. Gardell just sighed, shaking his head.
“You need to focus, Joe. You’re
not even trying today.”
“How the hell am I supposed to
do that?!” he exclaimed. He was about to follow up with ‘It’s
your fault anyway’ but caught himself. Though by the fact his
face suddenly went bright red, Gardell probably guessed
something similar.
“I’ll focus then!” he said
before the man could speak. He dashed forward then, fist
glowing. Yes, this was stress relief at it’s finest… He
struck, moving faster than he usually did, not aiming to hurt
but if he could at least HIT him…
He dodged. Joe didn’t stop,
following up with a rabid flurry of punches, dropping and
sweeping the ground with his leg- he struck his feet, and
Gardell actually fell! Grinning triumphantly Joe jumped on him-
maybe he couldn’t pin him but it would be something!
But of course, as he tended to he
dropped his guard. Gardell was very good at taking full
advantage of that.
His world spun as he was grabbed,
a little roughly, and then his back was on the ground. Gardell
was over him, holding him down with an unusually smug grin on
his face. “You’re cute when you’re angry.” And before
Joe could say anything, Gardell’s mouth was over his again,
effectively silencing him and causing most rational thoughts to
flee his mind.
But this time he just went along
with it, almost curious as he put his arms over his shoulders,
holding tightly as Gardell sat up, mouth still locked with the
boy’s. The kiss was still hesitant from Joe, exploring and
Gardell let him.
Joe pulled back, feeling shaky
again, heart racing but… there was something nice about it…
Gardell smiled.
“Feeling better?”
Joe nodded, but raised an
eyebrow. “…You just did that so I wouldn’t fight back.”
“Oh, now why would I do
something like that…”
~*~
It snowed a few days after that.
Just a few white flakes at first, then more heavily, a white
blanket gathering quickly on the bare ground and tree limbs as
night fell. Gardell commented that if it snowed too much it
would be difficult to get supplies, but they had enough for a
few days at least.
There was also plenty of
firewood, so Gardell made a larger fire tonight, the flames
dancing higher as he placed another piece of wood on it. He set
a metal bucket near the fire, filled with snow so they’d have
some fresh water when it melted. He sat down next to Joe, more
blankets around them than usual. The temperature had dropped
dramatically; even with the fire he could almost see his breath.
Joe shivered, leaning against
him. Gardell just smiled and pulled him close, arms around him.
“Maybe we’ll stay in tomorrow if the snow’s too deep. Just
to relax for a while…”
He nodded, and couldn’t help
but wonder where he’d be right now if he hadn’t chosen to
stay. Not nearly as content as he was now, that was certain. He
closed his eyes, listening to Gardell’s heartbeat.
How long could he stay though?
Not forever… He still needed to find out about his father.
Gardell wouldn’t want to come with him… or have Joe stay
there forever.
“…I can’t stay here…”
Joe said then, quietly. “Not… that much longer.”
“You can stay as long as you’d
like…”
“No, I still have to…” he
trailed off. Gardell would understand. “But…” He bit his
lip, brow furrowing… “I don’t want to… I want… to stay
with you…” It was a hard thing to actually say for someone
so unused to showing his emotions…
“Joe…” Gardell turned him
so they were facing each other. “Stay until you’re ready…”
He touched the boy’s face, fingers trailing down his cheek.
“You aren’t a burden to me. …Are you happy here?” Joe
nodded, just slightly. Gardell smiled. “Do what makes you
happy then. You don’t have to seek out your father’s killer…
Your father would prefer that you were happy, wouldn’t he?”
“Y… yeah…” Of course he
would. Joe smiled as well. He would stay longer, maybe even
until the end of winter. “…Thank you.”
Gardell didn’t say anything,
letting his actions speak… Leaning down, his face close… His
mouth over the boy’s again, perhaps more insistent than before
but still gentle. Joe didn’t feel panicked as he had the first
time, calm now even as he felt Gardell’s hands up beneath his
shirt. It was pulled up over his head, leaving him in his normal
sleeveless red outfit.
“G-Gardell…” Joe gasped as
he lightly bit one of his ears. This was a lot, more than the
other times.
“Mmm?” Gardell’s own
clothing was unbuckled in the front. “Too fast?”
“N-no…” He stammered
sometimes when he was nervous. He wasn’t nervous now just…
eager. He wanted this… Though he wasn’t completely certain
what was going to happen. They’d done more together in the
past few nights, exploring, but the way he was acting now…
Gardell held the boy to him,
hands roaming over his body, pushing his clothes down off his
shoulders. He kissed him again, one hand untying the bandana
holding his hair up, the other sliding low, barely touching him…
Joe pulled back still, drawing in a hissing breath. The bandana
slid off and Gardell wound his fingers through his hair, mouth
on his, tongue entwined with his own for a brief moment, then
his lips brushing his cheeks and neck and farther down, his
chest and stomach…
Joe’s breath came fast and
wavering, his body heated and responding despite the chill.
Gardell held him up easily, kneeling now, the blankets still
around them both as he tugged the boy’s clothes off the rest
of the way, to his knees, ankles and then on the floor next to
them.
Too fast it was too fast but he
didn’t want to have him stop now. He could do this, he would,
he wasn’t afraid. The gravity of the situation hadn’t even
truly occurred to him… It was something adults did, wasn’t
it?
He was sitting on a blanket on
one of the stone benches, wrapped in another one with Gardell’s
hands around his waist, face near his stomach. He glanced up at
him, as if expecting him to say something but Joe doubted he
could speak then. As Gardell took him into his mouth all he
could manage was a shocked cry, body arching.
“Ah-AH st-stop!” he gasped,
gripping the blankets tightly. And… Gardell did, looking up at
his questioningly. Joe stammered, trying to explain- no, don’t
really stop- but Gardell chuckled softly.
“Mm, it can be a bit intense…”
He grinned, licking just the tip, smiling further at Joe’s
reaction. “I’ll stop if you want…” He always would.
“N-no… Please just…” He
panted, trying to stay somewhat lucid as Gardell continued, his
touch light at first, tongue barely touching as his hands rubbed
the boy’s back. Even that felt overwhelming, but he didn’t
want it to end so soon… But he had little choice as Gardell’s
mouth closed over him again and it was just to damn much and he
couldn’t-
He squeezed his eyes shut, body
arching as he cut off the short cry that escaped him. Before the
feelings had even started to fade, Gardell had his arms around
him, drawing him close again.
“Mm, did you enjoy that?”
Gardell kissed him on the cheek, licking his ear. Joe actually
squeaked in surprise, and nodded shakily. “Good…”
He held him like that for a
moment, and Joe relaxed, really thinking that was all he was
going to do… Each night it seemed Gardell had tried something
different, always careful and stopping if Joe asked him to…
Then he saw Gardell reach for something, a small glass bottle he’d
never seen before, opening it… Joe could quite see what he was
doing, his hands then hidden by the blankets…
“G…Gardell?” The name a
question, he looked up at him… He looked very focused, eye
half-lidded. Then he reached around the boy, putting him on his
back, his hand low again, fingers sliding down further, and in-
“GYAH!” Joe tried to sit up,
Gardell pulling back quickly. “Wh-what are you-“
“Sorry…” His smile was
actually a bit sheepish. “I have to make sure you’re ready,
I could hurt you…”
Joe swallowed hard, understanding…
They were going to… do that… Joe suddenly wasn’t so sure
about it, watching Gardell put more of whatever was in that
bottle on his fingertips. He knew some people did that, but he’d
never really understood why… What could be so great about it?
He sat up, gripping Gardell’s
arms as the man started again, cautiously sliding one finger in,
slick from whatever he’d used… Joe grit his teeth, unused to
the feeling, still wondering if he could like this at all…
And then a little deeper,
brushing something- Joe tensed- and then again, more
surely-
His body jerked, toes curling at
the sudden shock of feeling, more intense than what had happened
before. He heard Gardell give a slight laugh, holding him and
slipping another finger inside, touching something there again,
rewarded with a shocked cry from the boy.
“Ah… gods… what are…”
he panted, unable to even see straight, gripping Gardell’s
arms tightly. What was he doing that made him feel like that…
It felt good.
“Just relax now… Come on…”
Gardell’s breathing was heavy but he still sounded somewhat
calm, prying Joe’s hands off him. “Lay back…” He did so,
Gardell leaning next to him, getting more of the substance from
the bottle, fingers sliding in again. He smiled as the boy
squirmed against the blankets, holding him as he prepared him…
“I’ll go slow… Just tell me
if it hurts… You’ll have to relax…” He grabbed the
bottle again, applying some to himself before holding Joe by his
shoulders, nuzzling his face and neck. “All right?” His
voice was rougher, like some measure of his control was lost.
Joe swallowed, throat dry, face against Gardell’s chest. He
was afraid; he could admit that to himself… Maybe not that it
would hurt, just the implications of it. This was so much more
intimate than what they’d done before…
“Y-yeah…” He took a deep
breath as Gardell turned him so his back was to the man’s
chest, still holding him up, head alongside his, breath hot on
his face. He welcomed any warmth that came from him. He did
relax, as much as he could. The blankets were soft beneath him,
Gardell just holding his waist and hips now with large hands. It
was apparent that Gardell wanted this, and Joe didn’t want to
deny him it… He could do this. He trusted him…
Gardell didn’t speak now, his
breathing heavy. Joe just felt pressure at first, wincing and
tensing without meaning to. No, no he told himself, he had to
relax. He calmed himself, using breathing techniques he’d
learned for fighting… He gripped the blankets, still expecting
pain, but there was only a little and an odd slick feeling, and
the strangest sense of him inside him like that, but it really
didn’t hurt much at all…
And then Gardell shifted, out
slightly, searching for that spot again… Finding it, and Joe
gripping the blankets as his body trembled, face pressed into
the cloth… He cried out as Gardell started a rhythm, slowly in
and out, the feelings building little by little.
Though with Joe he found there
was no way he could last long, his body was simply too sensitive
and gods it just felt good and he wanted to make sure Gardell
was satisfied as well, it was the least he could do…
“Ah… Please… G… Gardell!”
he exclaimed, climaxing a second time, and with no pause between
now. Gardell’s pace quickened, though he was still lucid
enough to make sure he wasn’t hurting the boy. He didn’t
want to make a mistake like that…
He closed his eyes, focusing on
the sensations, the feel of him, his voice crying his name… It
had been so long since…
It was enough, and he came with
just a sharp gasp to mark it, pausing only a few moments before
pulling out of him, arms around the boy as the intense feelings
grew fainter and there was just a kind of tired warmth… He had
enough sense to help Joe to a third climax, grinning at how
responsive the boy was… Joe practically collapsed in his arms,
exhausted, face flushed… What had just happened? Was he
supposed to say anything? But he was so tired…
“I’ll get you cleaned up…”
Gardell said softly, reaching for a small cloth and the bucket,
by now filled with warmed water. Joe just sighed, feeling a bit
odd but overall content, snuggling against his bare chest. He
didn’t see it, but Gardell’s eye had an almost wistful look
to it, though he was smiling…
“Gardell…” Joe said a few
moments later, clean and dry again and in his arms, eyes closed.
He didn’t know what else to say. “’Night…”
“Sleep well, Joe…”
~*~
“Vulcan Jab!” A miss. Joe
swung his leg out, connected with flesh and rewarded with a
pained grunt. He then spun, hitting his arm. Gardell’s weapon
went flying, and the next hit sent him stumbling forward,
falling onto the frosted ground. Joe pounced on him, grabbing
his horns.
“Another victory!” he crowed,
holding Gardell’s head down. He wasn’t very good at pinning
him because of his size, but just being able to get Gardell down
was an achievement and something he’d gotten much better at.
“Yes, very good…” Gardell
groaned, standing up. Joe still hung onto his horns, but then
grabbed onto his shoulders, holding himself up there, face next
to his. He grinned. Gardell reached up, turning his head and
kissing him on the cheek. Joe fell off.
“Ah, no fair…” he said,
brushing ice off his clothes. He’d slipped more than once, so
he was amazed he’d done so well. “…You aren’t letting
me win, are you?”
“What? No, of course not!”
Gardell said, shaking his head and looking pretty honest… “Pretty
soon I’m not going to have much to teach you, will I…”
“Guess not,” Joe said, wiping
off his face with a ragged towel. He’d worked up a sweat
fighting, and the last thing he needed was it freezing on him.
Gardell leaned on a fallen tree,
looking up at an overcast sky. “At this rate you’ll be more
than ready to be on your own by the time spring comes…” He
sounded… almost sad then.
“I was gonna stay until the end
of winter anyway…” Joe said, standing next to him. He
shivered. Damn, he should have brought something warmer, but he
always forgot. “But you never know.”
Gardell smiled, reaching down to
lift him up and hold him close. “We’ll see when the time
comes…”
“Mmhm…” Joe snuggled
against him. He liked to be able to be like this, no one was
going to judge him other than himself. It was quiet for a
moment, before he looked up at Gardell, a question popping into
his head, something he’d never thought to ask. “Gardell…
What was your family like? And… when you were a kid.” He
didn’t know why he was so curious all of a sudden. He waited
as Gardell started walking back.
Gardell thought for a moment,
hands absently rubbing Joe’s back and shoulders. “Mm… Well…
Pretty standard I guess… My mother and father worked in the
city, but they wanted me to grow up someplace less hectic…”
“What were they like?”
Gardell regarded the boy for a
moment, one hand running through his hair now. His topic wasn’t
terribly surprising, was it… “They were… both wonderful to
me. They made a lot of sacrifices. My father was a starship
engineer for the military, my mother had done something similar,
but she quit her job to be with me more.”
Joe closed his eyes, listening.
“…What happened to them?”
“My mother died of an illness
when she got older. My father… He wasn’t the same after that…
And I remember the day they told me. There’d been some
accident where he worked.” His voice was low. “I was an
adult by then, though… I can’t imagine never knowing them…”
Joe pressed his face against
Gardell’s chest, biting his lower lip to keep it from
trembling. He wasn’t jealous of him… Just bitter and angry
at whatever forces had taken his parents. Whoever had killed his
father… No, he didn’t want to think about things like that.
He was safe and warm there, no need to ruin it. “…Did… did
you have a lot of friends?”
“Hm? Oh… Well, actually I was
a shy kid… I was too afraid to talk to any of the others…”
Gardell laughed, some happy memory going through his mind. “I
did have one good friend… His name was Torick. We were always
together, though he was always so popular, but he made sure I
was never left out.” He tussled Joe’s hair a bit. “What
about you, hm?”
“Well…” Joe felt something
cold on his face, opening his eyes to see snow falling. Gardell
stood up, letting Joe slide to the ground.
“Mm, we should get inside…
Tell me about it on the way there.” Gardell said.
“Okay…”
~*~
The really heavy snow didn’t
come until a few days later. In the meantime they’d still been
able to get some last minute supplies. Gardell suggested that
they stayed in that day instead of training. Joe had no problem
with that, huddled under two blankets. They couldn’t make a
fire during the day. There was too much risk of the smoke being
seen or scented and pointing right to their location. The
leftover demons, and people as well weren’t as likely to
attack the large camp, but the two of them alone were a possible
target…
Gardell laughed as Joe glared at
him from his pile of blankets. He was only wearing his usual
clothes, but the cold didn’t seem to bother him. “Mm, we can
warm up tonight if you want…” He reached over, lightly
kissing his nose, chuckling as Joe ducked under the blankets.
“Cute… Well I really can’t sit around inside, I get bored…
I’m going to get some firewood. Want to come?”
The blankets moved side to side.
“No? Ah well. I’ll be nearby…” Joe listened to his
retreating footsteps, and then he was alone.
It was starting to sink in… He
hadn’t really thought about it then, at first, but now… He
wasn’t sure what to think. Was it right for him to have
enjoyed that…? Then again, forget what anyone else thought. He
could be happy… And despite the fact he wanted to go help
Gardell, he just didn’t feel like getting up. Too damn cold…
Maybe if he got some more warm clothes next time they went for
supplies. Trevor hadn’t had anything. Next time…
He flopped on his side, closing
his eyes. Maybe they could train tomorrow…
~*~
His eyes snapped open. He’d
heard something- or was it a dream? No… He listened…
Footsteps, a scraping sound. Joe relaxed. It was just Gardell
coming back… Had he fallen asleep?
He fumbled around to get out of
the tangle of blankets. “Need any help carrying it in?”
Damn, he’d really wrapped himself well in there… He paused
as there was no response from Gardell. “…Gardell?” Just as
his head popped out of the blankets he was grabbed from behind,
roughly, and shoved to the ground, someone’s hand gripping his
hair painfully.
“You need to pay closer
attention kid.” The voice was familiar, too familiar… Joe
tried to shout for Gardell but a strong hand covered his mouth,
the stranger’s knee pressed into his back, holding him down.
Joe tried kicking but was too tangled in the blankets. “Bet
you never thought we’d find you, eh? It was too easy to follow
you… Just needed to wait until you were alone…”
Joe gave a muffled curse, trying
to move away. He managed to turn slightly, getting a better look…
It was one of those men from back in the camp, the same group
from before. It was the taller man, his features indistinct
behind a battered helmet.
“Hi again, kid. Miss me?” he
grinned, showing teeth. “Sorry to get you involved, really I
am, but Gardell owes us a bit of a debt you see… You’ll pay
the bill nicely. We all ready have a client lined up. So if you’ll
just keep quiet we can get this done in no time.”
Debt? What the hell was he
talking about? He tried shouting again, but who knew where
Gardell was now- but he said he was close right? He had to come
back… But in the meantime he’d just have to save himself. He
struggled, trying to get his arms free.
“Come on now, no use resisting…”
The man grit his teeth, frustrated now as Joe wasn’t as easy
to hold on to as he liked. “Not as if you’d be any worse off
than you are with this guy…” His expression became an odd
smile at Joe’s confused look. “Didn’t you know? Gardy
likes kids… Especially cute little boys like you… We used to
be pals, me and him. He always did have good taste…” He
leaned over, close to his ear. “Tell me now, has he fucked you
yet? Sometimes he just likes forcing it, or did he try being a
little more gentle with you?”
Joe didn’t move then, eyes
wide, then narrowing as he tried jerking away from him, turning
his head and biting the hand over his mouth. The man pulled back
and Joe took the opportunity, throwing him off.
“You damn brat!” the man
snarled, reaching for his weapon- and stopping suddenly, a
strange choked sound coming from him… before he toppled over
onto the ground, a dagger visible in his back.
“Joe!” It was Gardell,
standing at the entrance, out of breath. He rushed over to the
boy, kneeling in front of him. “Are you all right? What
happened?”
He stared, unmoving. No, it wasn’t
possible, that guy was lying- but he couldn’t help himself. He
jumped back, almost stumbling, before dashing past him and out
into the snow covered forest.
~*~
He just needed to get away even
though it was a stupid thing to do, for all he knew those others
were out waiting for him, but it just didn’t make sense… No,
it made too much sense.
Joe huddled under a half fallen
tree, one spot free of snow. He shivered, hugging his knees to
his chest. Stupid, he shouldn’t have run out here… He always
ran. He could freeze to death…
That guy had to have been lying,
he thought, yet why would he lie to Joe about that? He certainly
didn’t have his best interests in mind. He just wanted to make
Gardell look bad. But it would explain why Gardell had helped
him in the first place…
Joe shook his head adamantly, as
if to shake out any doubtful thoughts. “Damnit, he’s not
like that…” he said to himself, gritting his teeth.
He looked up as he heard swift
footsteps, crunching through the snow nearby. He stood up,
prepared for whoever it might be- except it was Gardell. He was
carrying one of the blankets, Joe saw as he approached him,
moving more carefully now. He didn’t run this time, looking
away…
Gardell didn’t say anything,
wrapping the blanket around him. There was a long pause, all too
silent.
“…What happened.” It was
more of a command than a question. Joe didn’t answer. “If
you’re wondering… Yes, I do know that person. His name was
Maurus, I traveled with him once. Believe me, I haven’t had
any connections to him in years… Whatever he told you…”
“He told me…” Joe started.
He didn’t want to say that part aloud so he chose
something else. “…You had a debt to him.”
He sighed. “That’s true…
The group he was with turned out to be exactly the kind I didn’t
want to associate with. They went beyond simple stealing to
survive… They did it to profit, in any way.” He shook his
head. “In a lawless place like this, it can be easy to get a
hold of valuable items, and there are people in other places who
will go through the black market to get them. But I didn’t
stay with them… Did he tell you different?” He waited for
Joe to speak.
Joe didn’t know why he couldn’t
look at him. “He said… he said you only had me here…
because you… liked kids…” It sounded innocent when he said
it like that. He didn’t want to go into more detail. He didn’t
want to believe it, he didn’t want to say it.
Gardell was quiet, his expression
unreadable. “…Damn it…” he finally hissed. “Joe…
Have I ever hurt you?”
He did look up this time,
surprised by the question. “…No…”
“I haven’t forced you to do
anything you didn’t want to… Joe I truly didn’t invite you
to stay with me because I had any perverse ideas.” He paused
for a moment, looking down. “I’ve made mistakes in my life I
don’t want to make again… Please believe me. I would never
hurt you.” He reached out as if to place his hand on Joe’s
shoulder, but stopped short.
Joe had never seen him like that.
He sounded… scared, his voice absent of it’s usual
composure. He sounded more afraid than he himself had felt when
Maurus had told him those things. So what if Gardell ‘liked
kids’, it was probably an exaggeration anyway, he wasn’t
like those kinds of horrible people you heard about. He was kind…
All Joe cared about was that Gardell so plainly loved him,
because… He didn’t know why, but it wasn’t just
because he was some kid. There was more… And he wanted to
believe that so badly, he couldn’t consider it being anything
else.
“I… I trust you,” he said,
nodding, holding the blanket around himself. He’d never
trusted anyone more, but he wasn’t going to say it.
Gardell smiled, but still didn’t
touch him. “I’m sorry that had to happen… It won’t
again, I promise.” He stood up again, looking down at the boy
for a moment, looking curious… “…Did you bring your shoes?”
Joe blinked. “…No.” He hadn’t
even noticed, he’d run out so quickly… Though NOW he
certainly did, wincing and standing on the blanket. “Damnit…”
He didn’t want to walk back through the snow, but of course
that wasn’t a problem. Before he could say a word, Gardell
scooped him up, holding the boy in front of him.
