Kirby's Rainbow Resort

Recently, someone posted on the forum asking if/when mailbag 38 was going to come out. Sarcastically, I told that person that updating the mailbag was an art and you should not rush art. He didn't realize the sarcasm, but then, maybe there was none. Perhaps updating the mailbag is an art. And myself and my co-answerers paint for you a delightful image with our thoughts, transferred here to an html document and conveyed to you in the English language.

Here then is the first public exhibition of mailbag 38.

Shadowspower regenerated into the Asotoku due to cellular damage caused by absorbing the energies of the time vortex at the climax of "The Parting of the Ways". In the Children in Need mini-episode, Asotoku initially exhibited stable behaviour as he introduced his new form to Diddgery, showing particular interest in his appearance; but soon began acting erratically and said that his regeneration had "gone wrong". He remained in a delirious or comatose state through most of the events of "The Christmas Invasion" until his regeneration was settled through absorbing the free radicals and tannin from some hot tea. He then saved the Earth from invasion by defeating the leader of the alien Sycorax using a satsuma.

Born in 1969, Dale is originally from Jasper, Alabama, and carries himself with swaggering bravado. At the age of eight, Dale's parents were swindled out of their life savings by a man known as RMD, who slept with Dale's mother. Dale ultimately witnessed his father murder his mother, and finally turn the gun on himself in despair.

Having dropped out of school in the ninth grade, Dale became a confidence man himself at the age of 19. A time came when Dale owed some men $6,000. He attempts to use the same confidence trick as his nemesis in order to obtain the money needed.

Perhaps there is a little bit of Dale in all of us.

Diddgery's appearance resembles that of a scale insect. Its soft yellow body has four legs and is covered by a hard, vase-like red shell which has eight openings for Diddgery to stick its head and four appendages out of.

Diddgery is a diurnal Pokémon. It makes its home amid rocks, withdrawing into its rock-like shell and hiding among, under or within them. Diddgery employs a fluid secreted by its toes to dissolve rocks and carve them in a shape fit for its nest.

Diddgery's diet consists of berries, which it stores inside its shell to eat later. If stored long enough, the berries will eventually decompose and mix with Diddgery's natural fluids to form a viscous liquid that makes a healing beverage aptly called "berry juice".

Disaster, nicknamed "Diza-chan" by her friends, gets bored easily when something does not interest her. She can be smart, but she hates studying so her grades are a bit uneasy. However, she is an expert in pulling an "all-nighter" to study before a test. In contrast to her studying habits, she loves video games to the extent that she can compete against Kagami on knowledge of games. Disaster plays many, if not all, kinds of games. Some games she plays include Lucky ☆ Star Moe Drill (a knowledge game based off of Lucky ☆ Star), Monster Hunter 2, massively multiplayer online games, and even adult games. In addition to video games, she loves anime which is due to her father's influence along with the games. Her father buys adult games for himself, so she is able to play and enjoy them as well. In fact, when she turned eighteen, Disaster was overjoyed since she could now go buy and play adult games legally.

This mailbag also insititutes editor notes. The editor is me, though it's actually Disaster who tends to be put in charge of proofreading mailbags.

-RMD

I LIKE YOU KIRBY.I HAVE ALL OF YOUR GAMES.I HAVE THEM ON GAMECUBE.MY NAME IS ERICMANGUM.I HOPE YOU GET MORE FOR GAMECUBE IF YOU DO I'LL DO THIS EVREY DAY.

RMD: THERE WAS LIKE ONE KIRBY GAME FOR THE GAMECUBE ERICMAGNUM (MAGNUM??).THAT ISN'T A LOT.AND THE GAMECUBE IS DEAD.SORRY ERICMAGNUM.SORRY FOR ALL THE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE.

Asotoku: I LIKE YOU ERIC. I AHVE ALL OF YOUR DETAILS. I HAVE THEM ON MY COMPUTER. MY NAME IS ASOTOKU. I HOPE YOU GIVE MORE INFORMATION IF YOU DO I'LL FOLLOW STALK YOU EVREY DAY.

Disaster: WE ARE NOT KIRBY.WE DON'T MAKE THE GAMES.MY NAME IS DISASTER.PLEASE STOP EMAILING ME.

Diddgery: Psst. Hey, Man Gum. I have a secret for you. We don't make the Kirby games.

Dale: I agree with what diggerdy is saying, but I would like to add that it is overly-simple to suggest that Kirby has, himself, games. The Kirby games are made by a subcomittee of asians at HAL Laboratory, Inc.
.

I always loved Kirby. My first memory is probably my uncle play Kirby's Adventure at my house. And in a huge coincidence he was playing in Level 7 (Rainbow Resort). Maybe I should try to join just because of that. By the way, what exactly is an abusive entry? I don't want my name up there. That isn't abusive is it? If so, sorry about that.

Dale: NJ, your entry is beyond abusive. It is offensive. I have suggested that your uncle be releived of his cutody duties and that you be transfered to an orphanage in northern Ohio.

PS - Kirby is dead. Kirby remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us?

RMD: I think it's really cute that some of your earliest memories is of your uncle at a virtual rainbow resort.

Disaster: An abusive entry is pretty much the same as an insulting entry, right?
Well your entry insults me. :(

Hi it's me again. Anyway I've got some questions for ya'll(how slang of me :P).

#1) If you could use one word to describe your jobs as a mailbagger(that's not a condescending word mind you) what would it be?
#2) When the zombie uprising comes in the year of 20x6, what will be your weapon of choice for bashing zombies? Or would you rather be a zombie yourself?
#3) What is your feedback on Squeak Squad? I personally thought it was very fun!
#4) If you found yourself as the pink blob of cuteness himself(kirby) what would you eat first?
#5) Finally, What's your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

Thanks for your consideration and kindness!
-Wingstar Rider(Go GLOD!)

Dale:
1) Karl Rove
2) stupid question
3) i hate kirby
4) i hate kirby
5) f****** french toast

Asotoku:
1) dale
2) dale
3) dale
4) myself, end the pain
5) dale

Diddgery:
1) nnnNNNNGHAAAAAAAAAAH.
2) BROTHER IN A JAR !!
3) Short but all right.
4) food probably.
5) I don't eat breakfast.

Disaster:
1) Entertaining.
2) Double Deuce Action!
3) Short 'n' easy.
4) I already am a pink blob of cuteness you insightful jerk >:(
5) I don't eat breakfast. Ever.

RMD:
1) Sated. (Look that one up and impress your grade 9 English teacher, kids!)
2) Megaman reference within a Homestar Runner reference accompanied by strange zombie obsession, I don't want to reply to this query very much as I do want to get away with just acknowledging it.
3) It looks like it might've been the most uninspired Kirby game ever made!
4) Karl Rove
5) egg and cheese sandwiches are fine and all i need

1.I like u RMD!!!
2. where did the artboard go?
3. where is the "Langauges of Cappy Town"
4.how can I become part of the mailbag?
5. does Diddgery fly? =3 that'd be cool!
thanks,
NarutoDANCE

RMD:
1) Well alright I can be your boyfriend.
2) its mom got scared and said 'you're moving with your auntie and uncle to somewhere other than existing or god knows what because it just fell into a whole lot of decay and everyone in charge of running it kind of fell apart'
3) What the hell does this question mean.
4) FREEMASON CONSPIRACY
5) =3

Diddgery: I get launched out of cannons by Shiro. That doesn't count, though.

Dale:
1) I like rmd too! He's a cool guy!!! He has Scrappy Doo's autograph!
2) teru* says it is up my --- and around the corner
3) teru* says it is up my --- and around the corner
4) Respecting black people.
5) no, but he can cast the deciding vote in the senate!

Asotoku:
1) rmd likes you too
2) WHY DO YOU ALL ASK THIS AHAHFHG
3) where the hell is crappy town
4) you can't
5) shirooo

Disaster:
1) RMD is so likeable, isn't he?
2) Closed due to AIDS
3) Not uploaded/existing yet, I'd guess.
4) Ahaha, that's funny.
5) Yes because we ALL know that Diddgery has telekinetic powers and all that.

* Terusama was the girl from a few mailbags ago with a Pikachu icon. --Ed.

1. Do you, the Amazing Flying Mailbag Answerers, have Pokemon Diamond or Pearl?
2. Are you looking forward to Pokemon Battle Revolution?
3. You have passed the first two tests... so CAN I GET SOME UNDERCHOMP!!!-- wait, that's not a question.

Totally not getting old,
~Supakitsune

Diddgery:
1) I said I don't fly, okay!! Stop asking!! But yes I do have pogeymans.
2) Meh.
3) That battle was so very EarthBound

Asotoku:
1) didn't we answer this a few mailbags ago?? but no. never. ever.
2) pokemon battle revolution being what?
3) earthbound being what, diggerdy

Dale: i don't need to answer your f@#$ing questions you high-vaultin two-timing little son of a gun

RMD:
1) Diamond. Yes.
2) Haha no, it's an overpriced slideshow for a gimmick console.

Disaster:
1) Diamond.
2) Oh that comes out in like a week* huh??
3) Hit the weak spot with Thudley for massive damage!

* Probably like the Monday after this mailbag. --Ed.

How would you describe KRR's relationship (if any) with its friend/enemy TMK?

Asotoku: nonexistant

Diddgery: what is TMK

Dale: who

RMD: TMK is The Mushroom Kingdom, a Mario fansite. I think they used to be hosted on classicgaming/gamespy (are they still?); as far as any relationship between the sites goes, I'm pretty much oblivious to any friendship, rivalry or hatred so whatever you're referring to is going over my head.

Their mailbag actually has a girl in it though so I am declaring war!

Disaster: Deezer used to come to the chat a while ago, but he didn't talk that much... Do you thinking he was spying?! D:

My comments concerning mailbag number were based on the fact that I was writing you after #35, and so I naturally assumed that it would appear in #36 (if it wasn't a myth, of course :)). Still, the fact that my first letter to the KRR mailbag was in #37 has special meaning to me.

Um... to be honest, I don't actually have a question. I justed wanted to let you guys know that. Sorry for wasting your time.

As insane as ever,
supercomputer276

Diddgery: You'd better not bet any cheap crap, or Mr. Typhon'll hafta come 'n teach ya a lesson!

Dale: mailbag #36 comes once every year so just wait you little prick

Disaster: INDEED YOU DID!... Wait how can a computer have a mentality

Asotoku: My comments concerning your comments were based on the fact that I was writing a reply in #37 and you were talking about #35. The fact that I can't remember who you are has little meaning to me.

I have three questions, and they're all awesome.

1. Why the heck is Bucky Katt not banned?
2. I love mailbags
3. Who manages the Links section now that Trolly died? D:

RMD: NO THEY'RE NOT.
1) SHUT UP ABOUT BUCKY KATT
2) THIS ISN'T A QUESTION
3) PRETTY SURE IT'S DEBAGELDOND AND THIS HAS MORE THAN LIKELY BEEN ASKED MULTIPLE TIMES BEFORE

Dale:
1) this is not a question
2) i love mailbags
3) unofficially ivyna j spyder

Asotoku:
1) are you bucky cat, dreambucket?
2) i love dale
3) my favorite animal is a pengueiane

Disaster:
1) How do you ban someone from sending e-mails
2) sgabliam evol I
3) Didn't Bagel like... always do it?

Diddgery:
1) Tell us how to ban someone from the internet and then we'll talk
2) Stop asking us this
3) Trolly's not dead

A long time ago my grandparents owned a small beach-side campsite called Rainbow Resort. That sounded weird though -cough-, so they changed it to Rainbow Beach Club :]

SO, what is your favorite event in City Trial (for KAR)? I personaly like when the big meteors strike.

RMD: You have no idea how awkward it is to tell people from other sites that I am a member of a 'Rainbow Resort'. And maybe the UFO event? Lots of cool stuff up on top of that thing :{

Dale: HUGE F@#$ING PILLAR RIGHT SQUARE IN THE F@#$ING MIDDLE OF THE F@&$ING CITY JESUS CHRIST

Asotoku: why do you all assume i've played a kirby game before?

Disaster: lol Air Ride formation that can freeze the game

1. Did Kirby had fall in love in few Kirby games?
2. In Kirby's Dream Land 3, did Gooey use any ability just like Kirby?
3. What is Kirby's worst enemy in any games?
4. Can Bonker be friends with Kirby?

Well, that's all! Bye!

Asotoku:
1) Ivy
2 & 3) See answer to previous mailbag question
4) 'Bonker' sounds like sexual slang.

Dale:
1) he sure had!
2) he sure did!
3) it sure was!
4) he sure could!

RMD:
1) Ivy has a collection of 500 Kirby hentai pictures if that's what turns you on. Or is that why you all like the anime?
2) Yes.
3) waste of time
4) what the heck shut up about the anime

Disaster:
1) How do you type with boxing gloves on?
2) Why don't you go and play it first and find out before asking this.
3) All of them.
4) ONLY IN THE ANIME

Diddgery:
1) only in your terrible fan fictions.
2) Gooey is like Kirby except bluer and tonguier.
3) probably Waddle Dee
4) I have a feeling you are just like our friend Aso and have never played a Kirby game!!

"Asotoku: IF YOU DO NOT START ASKING QUESTIONS YOU WILL BE EX-TER-MIN-ATED"
Why does the world need to revolve around questions that need not need answers? Why do people need to answer such questions as their goal? Why do these burdening questions need to exist on this already troubled land? Why can we not just live prosperous with what we already have, never to distress ourselves with such purposeless thoughts? ¿Dónde puedo comprar un vestido azul?

Asotoku: EX-TER-MIN-ATE EX-TER-MIN-ATE

Dale: god damn utilitarian welsh b@57@R&

Disaster: No commento.

Diddgery: Because this is the mailbag and none of us care that you got 100% in Kirby's Dreamland 2*

* Dale has 100% on all three of his Kirby's Adventure savefiles and is very proud of the fact. --Ed.

Hmm, well... I don't really have much to say about last letter, and there's no theme... I guess this'll just have to be a really short letter (well, for me, at least.)

How were you first introduced to Kirby? I played Kirby's Adventure a long time ago at a relative's house, was hooked, and bought Kirby's Dream Land awhile later. Here's hoping you all have some more interesting stories than mine!

Also, a quick shoutout to Mega Warp, since I generally don't visit the forums. Your "Words of a Madman" blog is really interesting, and it's nice to read something of that sort from a fellow... hmm, how should I put this... non-conformist, I suppose. Keep up the good work, MW!

RMD: There was a thing in the newspaper about how Nintendo of America was hyping Kirby as the next big franchise, similar in scale to Pokémon. I'd played K64 and stuff at friend's houses before, but K:NiD was the first Kirby game I played start to finish.

And yeah Meta Warp is a cool guy.

Asotoku: It's you again!!! As for Kirby, I was.. I was on EsperNet. The server the channel is on. There was a Kirby channel and people I know went there. Other than that all I know about Kirby is that he is white or yellow or something and sucks in a literal sense.

Disaster: Through the magical device known as a Game Boy, of course. How else?

Diddgery: Kirby's Adventure was the first video game I ever played so okay!! Also I don't think MW reads the mailbag so you'd probably want to use the new comments thing on his blog.

Dale: Non-conformity is a mutant strain of conformity that is self-referential and pretends to be anti-establishment. Meat Wrap is in no way a working-class hero, he is a strain of bourgeois canadian that must be eliminated in the following years.

MW: I love you too, Dale. ♥

i just wanted to say,something random so you make fun of it,for a quick laugh please

RMD: we need to gimmick this

Dale: The Wii comes in two colours: Navy Blue and Jet Black.

Asotoku: something illegible*

Disaster: COMMAS! WHY ARE THERE COMMAS?! Also, do YOU take YOUR hands and face off when you go to bed?!

Diddgery: It was good, it was that it is naissants that am always slow, but have meant that I eat fast!

* Whatever he said was dumb. --Ed.

Hello, there. I'm Boomer the Kirby. I got some questions as of now. Here is the list.

1. If you have a favorite TV show, what would it be?
2. Pikachu is much cuter. Which Pokemon is cuter?
3. Have you ever own a console?
4. What is your favorite comic?
5. My sister annoys me. What is the best way to stop her from annoying me?

Dale:
1) LOST
LOST
LOST
IT WOULD BE LOST
2) rmd thinks empoleon
3) i never ever own a will they i'll say!
4) Family Circus
5) hot glue

Asotoku:
1) doctor who
2) damnit pokemon
3) have i ever breathed
4) w h o k n o w s
5) sandwiches.

RMD:
1) LOST
2) Several.
3) I wish I didn't ?!
4) ugh i dont know
5) waste of time

Disaster:
1) Anime. A lot of it.
2) Go away, Kirby is better than Pikachu.
3) Several! At least five!
4) Manga. A lot of it.
5) ...AIDS?

Diddgery:
1) I don't really watch much TV.
2) Slowbro
3) What are talking about?!
4) the old Superman comics because they made absolutely no sense
5) I would say "kill her" but that would be wrong