JAMEY: Out of ten viewers, 50% voted for Kawasaki and 50% voted
for Tuff. I will now flip a coin to determine who will leave,
Heads for Kawasaki and Tails for Tuff.
Jamey flips a coin as the other contestants watch carefully. It
lands on the floor as…
TUFF: Ah man, how come I never win that kind of stuff?
KAWASAKI: Whew! I thought I was a goner for sure!
JAMEY: Tuff, I’m sure you know what this means. Now get the
Tuff packs up and pauses at the front door.
TUFF: This place was boring anyway!
Tuff finally leaves.
JAMEY: And with that, only 6 contestants remain: Kirby, Waddle
Dee, Ribbon, Adeleine, Kawasaki, and Meta Knight. Tomorrow,
there’ll be no mini-game, but a chance to win something that all
of you should like.
META KNIGHT: I guess I’ll go chop some trees in the forest for
ADELEINE: I’m going to do a completely random task where you
won’t see me until tomorrow.
KAWASAKI: I need to cook dinner. It’s the only thing I seem to
do these days.
RIBBON: And chances are, Kirby will now say, “Byo!” for no
apparent reason and Waddle Dee will do something to emote
Waddle Dee jumps up and down just for the heck of it.
JAMEY: All right, here’s how today’s game will work. I will
assign each of you numbers on a six-sided die. The person whose
number I roll will be asked a question on any Kirby game. If
all of you manage to get every one of the three questions I ask,
a computer with High-Speed Internet will be connected to each of
META KNIGHT: A quiz, huh? Sounds like someone ran out of
JAMEY: Quiet you. We will now begin.
Jamey numbers off everyone. Ribbon is 1, Kawasaki is 2, Waddle
Dee is 3, Adeleine is 4, Kirby is 5, and Meta Knight is 6.
Jamey rolls the die. It lands on 2.
JAMEY: Kawasaki, how much time do you get per mini-game in
Kirby’s Pinball Land?
KAWASAKI: 60 seconds.
Jamey rolls again. It lands on 6.
JAMEY: Meta Knight, for completing everything in Kirby’s Super
Star, what do you unlock?
META KNIGHT: The stupid Sound Test option. The most useless
thing in the world!
JAMEY: …Very correct. Now for our last roll.
Jamey rolls the die. It lands on 3.
JAMEY: Waddle Dee, what is the name of the second companion
that joins Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, counting Ribbon as a
Since Waddle Dee has no mouth, he points to himself.
JAMEY: Excuse me?
Waddle Dee jumps up and down, continuing to point at his body.
JAMEY: Waddle Dee, I need a name.
Waddle Dee rolls on the floor, cursing his mouthless body.
ADELEINE: Jamey! You know Waddle Dee doesn’t have a mouth!
Why didn’t you think before you made this cheap quiz?
Waddle Dee is just about ready to run up to his room for paper
and a pen, until…
JAMEY: Time’s up. The correct answer was Waddle Dee. Looks
like you won’t be receiving computers today.
META KNIGHT: You stupid little hairball! YOU RUINED US ALL!!!
Meta Knight unsheathes his sword, pointing it at Waddle Dee.
KAWASAKI: Let’s just stare for a few seconds then make some
META KNIGHT: ROOOAAAARRRR!!!
Meta Knight smacks Waddle Dee around the room and eventually
into a wall.
META KNIGHT: Man, that felt GOOD!
Waddle Dee gets up and rubs his head.
RIBBON: Wow, he never catches a break, does he?
KAWASAKI: Well he did ruin us all…
ADELEINE: That’s not the issue here! Haven’t you ever heard of
forgive and forget?
KAWASAKI: Sorry, but I don’t think too highly of “F” words.
Kirby sucks up Meta Knight and spits him upstairs.
META KNIGHT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!