Episode Five: Checkerboard Chase is Hard to Envision
Jamey gets off the poll and turns to the contestants.
JAMEY: Out of 8 viewers, 25% voted for Ribbon and 75% voted for
Adeleine. Adeleine, it’s time for you to get the fudge out!
ADELIENE: Who didn’t see this coming…I guess barging into
people’s rooms WASN’T a good idea.
Adeleine packs her belongings and walks out the front door.
JAMEY: Now our final four contestants remain: Kirby, Ribbon,
Meta Knight, and Kawasaki. I’ll come back later for our final
mini-game. For now, you can go to sleep while I find some
suitable reading material for my…business. (Thinking) What is
it with me and those school burritos…
Jamey leaves the room.
RIBBON: Hey Kirby! Wanna go play outside?
KAWASAKI: Play outside again? We finished the 100-Yard Hop a
few minutes ago!
KAWASAKI: Huh?...Oooh…I get it now. I’ll stay out of your way…
Kawasaki takes out an old issue of Nintendo Power.
KAWASAKI: So the broom talks BACKWARDS…fascinating…
After playing on a
swing set for nearly an hour, Kirby and Ribbon
look at a perfect sunset.
RIBBON: (thinking) Okay, Ribbon. Now’s your chance! Tell him
how you feel! That Kirby merchandise is getting old!
KIRBY: Byo, byo byo!
RIBBON: Um…Kirby? Can I tell you something important?
RIBBON: Well…it’s just…um, Kirby…
RIBBON: (thinking) Darn it! I’m ruining everything! My one
chance…time to just say it!
RIBBON: KIRBY, I L-
KAWASAKI: Hey you two! Dinner’s ready!
Kirby runs inside.
RIBBON: Kawasaki, I thought you weren’t going to disturb us!
KAWASAKI: Hm…hey, you’re right. Um…whoops! :)
RIBBON: Gosh, I HATE you…
Everyone, including Jamey, is sitting in the living room.
JAMEY: This mini-game will resemble the one we did this
afternoon, just without the exercise.
KAWASAKI: Sounds good to me.
META KNIGHT: Another childish amusement? Jamey, have I ever
said how much I’ve hated you?
JAMEY: Not until now.
Jamey takes out his Nintendo 64 and inserts Kirby 64: The
Jamey moves his cursor into the Options of a perfect game (Oh
yeah!) and selects the Mini-games. He highlights Checkerboard
RIBBON: You’re a millionaire, and THIS is all you can come up
JAMEY: Quiet you. You four will grab a controller and play a
game of Checkerboard Chase, but each of you will only have three
lives. The winner will have a Ticket Free of Banishment this
round and a Kirby Beach ball.
RIBBON and META KNIGHT: (Thinking) Aw, another one? I guess
They begin picking characters. Kirby picks Kirby. Ribbon picks
Adeleine. Meta Knight picks King Dedede. Kawasaki chooses
KAWASAKI: Oh well, like I always say, “Leftovers are good!”
NOTE: During this game, I’ll refer to the contestants by the
characters they picked.
The game starts. King Dedede starts off cheap and collapses the
tile beneath Kirby. Kirby loses a life.
Adeleine dodges a line of attacks from Waddle Dee. Waddle Dee
and Adeleine trap themselves on the edge and shoot their attacks
at each other. They both lose a life.
Waddle Dee comes back and takes down Kirby. King Dedede
suddenly hits down both Adeleine and Waddle Dee in one blow from
behind. The three lose a life.
KIRBY: 1 Life
WADDLE DEE: 1 Life
ADELEINE: 1 Life
KING DEDEDE: 2 Lives
Adeleine comes back and attempts to trap King Dedede in a
corner. Waddle Dee assists. Kirby stands on the side and
King Dedede tries to strike back, but never has the time to. He
is eventually backed into a corner and loses a life.
As soon as King Dedede returns, he fires at Kirby. Kirby dodges
and fires back. King Dedede dodges but…
META KNIGHT: Ah, crud.
King Dedede stepped on Waddle Dee’s line of fire. He plummets
to his doom.
An outer ring of the arena breaks off. Only Kirby (Kirby),
Waddle Dee (Kawasaki), and Adeleine (Ribbon) are left.
Waddle Dee fires at Kirby. Kirby dodges it and fires at
The attack misses and nearly hits Waddle Dee. Waddle Dee
eventually lines both of them up in his sights and fires.
Adeleine dodges the attack. Kirby, however, is a half-second
too slow and plummets to his doom.
Another outer ring breaks off of the arena. Now only Adeleine
and Waddle Dee are left.
RIBBON: 1 life for both of us. Yum.
KAWASAKI: I told you leftovers are good!
Waddle Dee immediately tries to trap Adeleine in a corner.
Adeleine blocks with an attack, preventing Waddle Dee to move
The blocks reform and Waddle Dee tries again. This time,
Adeleine attacks back. They both destroy row after row trying
to beat each other.
Eventually, the arena is downsized to a single four-block row,
with one of them standing on each side. Whoever is able to fire
They fire at nearly same time. The blocks underneath them give
in a second later and collapse. In the end…
KAWASAKI: Uh oh. This looks like-
Waddle Dee plummets to his doom before Adeleine can, making
Adeleine the winner.
JAMEY: Nothing like a double homicide…Anyway, Ribbon is the
winner! She has earned a Ticket Free from Banishment. Now,
let’s get some rest and vote who we want off in the morning.
META KNIGHT: I want a rematch. You three teamed up on me when
I was winning!
RIBBON: Well, it’s only natural to try and beat who’s the most