Ask Guru Gobbo #83

1) Cook Kawasaki sounds like a big, goofy dope. However, he is big, goofy dope. It is quite fitting for his character. And, since prior to that, all the chef did was toss dinner plates and bang on Gordos with a frying pan, there was no prior existing definition to be defaced or improperly represented. Gee, who could I be referring to with that comment?

2) Whispy Woods is the first boss faced in almost ever game. He's not supposed to be difficult. The boss is used as a learning curve. The entire concept to the mechanics within Kirby are radically different from most games. Why, the first thing I did when I played Dream Land I way back when was jump on a Waddle Dee. The bosses supplying the player with the means of their own destruction is a bit of a new twist. Now, why Whispola was already a push-over, he was made more easy with the introduction of abilities. I know that an Final Cutter or simple drop with Stone tears the tree a new squirrel hole something awful. At least the Dream Land sequels tried to even this out by given foes a bit of an invulnerability time after being struck as well, meaning Stone would hit only once for damage rather than felling the tree in one go. Still, they have tried to build up Whispy Woods credibility. They've made him stab with roots, unearth himself and chase after Kirby, and even Twin Woods, the Revenge model, and King Golem were further attempts at breathing life into this rotting log.

3) I don't know. This isn't because I don't watch the show, or even like it, but more of because I would have no real idea how to describe it. They do have the episodes, or at least a lot, up at the 4Kids website, and if you couldn't find a clip of him speaking there, there's probably a million YouTube videos of him speaking. If I had to make a guess, I'd say he sounds like a tree falling in the woods with no one around. Mystify!

1) There's one tiiiny hole to this theory: the other Kirby's aren't weak. It's just a truth. They have no less power than player one, and this is never more evident than when more than one player link up Amazing Mirror. Players 2 through 4 aren't given the royal screwing, no. In single player mode, the other Kirbies are garbage since their AI is trash. That's the only thing that makes any difference. Why, they could be ten times more powerful than Kirby, and it wouldn't matter. A smarter mind can always trump out a better body. It's like handicaps in fighting games. Why, I don't even have to limit it to video games when I can just reference golf. The better you are, the bigger handicap you take. When you are floppin' around like a knit-wit, then you get an advantage and still lose out to the more trained players. Why? You have no idea what you are doing, and they do. Computer AI, in the case of Mirror, has no idea what it's doing, but real players do. Hence, they win while the computer fails. It's really that simple. You don't have to go digging when the explanation is right on the surface.

2) Technically, I didn't dignify anyone with a response, I belittled him by responding. I haven't ripped anyone a new in the long absence, and, much like the last question in the first session I performed, Shadow Pwns, what better way to usher in the return to normality than smackin' 'round some twit. Actually, given the all-caps type, I began to wonder if it was him or not. However, such suspicions are inconclusive as all re-res write in such a fashion.

3) Yes, that is all nothing new to me. I am very familiar with the dialogue changes between coasts. However, you are blatantly looking over one fact: he had a friggin' huge battle ship and set out to conquer Dream Land which required intervention from Kirby. If he was "doing them a favor", why would Kirby have to step in? Overthrowing King Dedede? It sounds like everyone and their aunt would step up in line to join that movement. No, this was a forceful military strike to impose his will and rule over the realm. There have been numerous warlords who ascended to the rank of emperor in the past that, while they united the land under one flag, one rule, and new age of peace, had to lay waste to the land and slaughter mercilessly. Sure, the end product, people would agree, was good, but this doesn't justify the means. It's still savage butchery. This is what Meta Knight was doing: setting out to conquer. Of course, his conquest was ended before it really could even start thanks to the pink protagonist. If there were good intentions in mind, even in the slightest, Kirby would not have had to rush over there to put an abrupt stop to the plans. It's not like Meta Knight stole his food and caused him to act brashly, no. This was a heroic charge to save the day before all was loss.

People like to look in retrospect and try to justify these actions. Sorry, Meta Knight was evil. This is why he was placed among Nightmare's minions in the pilot to Kirby of the Stars. But, the animated series then flipped him into being good and catered to the chain reaction of his ruination. I have to post my essay on fall of Meta Knight. I have it all clearly catalogued and expounded within there, even though I pretty much just hit all the high points.

I would assume you'd just email it as an attachment to the appropriate staff member in charge of that function. I believe Mega Warp runs that nick of the woods, and, unlike a lot of staff positions, actually runs it. Of course, there's always the fail-safe of sending any files to me.

1) Kirby is 8", yes. This fact has even been shown in the animated series when characters were placed next to object from earth. Since everything is relative, there's never any chance for a side-by-side comparison with something from our world. In it, he and all the characters were shown to be dwarfed next to various objects, so the size expressed stacks up. Keep in mind, as was thankfully pointed out by Answer Bot 5000, that the sizes seen in Super Smash Bros. are just scaled figurines brought to life to battle.

2) No. Just, no. Iron is a fan made Kirby ability. Metal is the power seen in Squeak Squad. Granted, it's pretty stupid that there's any separation between the two, but Burning and Fire are different as are Ice and Freeze, so why shouldn't this synonym pairing be any different? Now, there's no doubt that there was probably some inspiration from Iron for Metal, but the walking, invincible Kirby was seen in Crystal Shards for Stone, and since Stone was skipped over in Squeak Squad and the ability was, by right, much different than the typically seen Stone as of late, they went with the rename and remodeling.

And that's why I'm here, 'cuz people 'pparently mess up their own answers.

1) In order for me to have a favorite episode, I would first have had to have seen a decent number of episodes. You can't see less than a tenth of the contestants in a competition and declare a winner. Furthermore, I'd have to have seen an episode that I didn't hate in order to have a favorite. Basically, this question is on par with, "Where would you like to be stabbed?"

2) Halfmoon was pretty much designed to be the coolest looking level. However, my favorite is Cavios, I think? I don't really know. I haven't played Super Star Regular in a long time. I'm pretty sure that's the one with the near endless march of mini-boss match-ups. That's fun stuff right there.

3) How many times is this going to come up? And it was just tackled yet again recently. Normally, that wouldn't mean anything, but you'd think it'd carry a little more weight when it was one of the answers given after a long hiatus. Actually, the first question back pretty much summed it up. But, if that was too vague, it was mentioned another time with specific reference to the Animal Friends. Really, I think I found a new candidate for the FAQ. Who am I kidding? I always say that and never do it. It strikes me as odd, however, that this seems to come up so often when, by and large, no one seems to care about the Animal Friends or the games they appeared in. I guess while not many in number, they demand blood.

1) He is the Meta Knight for Meta Knight, which creates a vicious cycle, much more preferable to a viscous cycle. I sure wish I didn't bleed so much on mine. Anyways, I hold it in believe that Galacta Knight will fade away, much like Marx did. Really, the only other shot that guy got was in the remake of the only game he appeared in previously. Meta Knight, too, had a shaky start. Why, he was only in two games before the animated series catapulted him into super stardom. Before, he was like Boba Fett, an underground favorite of real fans. Now, he's like... well, Boba Fett, way too sweated and glorified. Think about it: trained bounty hunter done in by an enfeebled man and master swordsman done in by a novice wielder. They're like peas in a pod.

Was I going somewhere with this? Oh, right, Meta Knight. It took some time for him to become the juggernaut he is today, and Galacta Knight, if he even gets another chance, could be waiting a line time for another chance to shine. The truth is that characters don't get many chances to shine. Paint Roller is one of the oldest characters but only got a real second chance in Canvas Curse. Kaboola, until recently, only resurfaced in Block Ball, and she's as old as they come. Heavy Mole only got any love in an American rehash of a completely different game and in the name of another boss character. Second chances are rare in Kirby, and third chances are almost unheard of. It's typically either a character is an established regular like the King and Waddle Dee, or they get their fifteen minutes of fame and retire.

2) Giygas is a being of utter destruction who wanted to annihilate the universe, and Porky was just a pudgy tool of his. I don't see how any of that relates to Marx or Marx Soul. It's not that hard a concept. Marx didn't want death, destruction, or mayhem. He just wanted to be ruler of Pop Star and to have power. Marx Soul was just him back to life, or his linger spirit, whatever. I don't have the game and haven't been made privy to his pause screen flavor text. Regardless, I don't see how any of that comes close to an immortal lord of doom.

3) No promises.

Wolfwrath appears in the episode 26, "Loyalty! Sword and Blade" or the American #24, "Hour of the Wolfwrath".

The Squeaks all have their weapons. Storo has a hammer, Spinni has shruken and claws, the Squeakers have bombs, and Doc has his many contraptions. Daroach, being all magically affiliated, just has a magic wand. Really, nothing seems too fancy about it. It throws stars, which, really, Daroach did in battle anywise. Three, actually. So, what Kirby did with it is less powerful than what he did. Now, I'm not saying he didn't steal it from someone, but if he already had some sort of legendary power at hand, why did he not abuse it instead of seeking out the power of Dark Nebula? It's a magic wand, yes, but it's not like it's some sort of super special magic wand. Dark Nebula was a pushover. It was a weakened and crippled force, unlike previously encountered big bads. There didn't need to be the uniting of several fragments and near divine power to put it down. No, the thing the bad guy dropped did just fine.

Additionally, your theory, once again, seems to go unnecessarily too far. "And they destroyed everything." When did that happen ever? They are bandits, thieves, and raiders. They shoot by as fast as the wind and take what they want. Destruction really isn't their game. They'll scuffle if it comes to that, but mostly speed is their tactic. They are mice, not badgers. They pilfer and split. Painting them as marauders just doesn't fit.

Do you want me to tell you how to tie your shoes while you are it? Seriously, it's no more complicated than sending out this question. Do you not use forms or have basic intuition?

Look how complicated it all is, folks! Click Upload file. Enter files to upload. Click Continue. When they upload successfully, click Continue again. Add details, names and descriptions, to each said file and click Continue. Then, you wait for your piece to be approved.

Oh, by the way, you can use that little backwards pointing arrow in your browser to move back to the previous page. Also, if your mouse, that's the little corded thing with buttons, has a third, middle wheel, roll it up and down to read the rest of a page. Don't forget to breath. Eating is important, too. Without food, you die. Am I being condescending enough yet? Good.