Ask Guru Gobbo #69

The True Arena, as well as most of the added content in Super Star Ultra, is suppose to be a challenge. Many Kirby fans are used to the cake walks offered by the beginner gamer aimed titles, but these sub-games take after the original's Extra Mode which beats you down and makes you cry for your mama. If they were easy, then that'd mean they didn't try hard enough.

1) Seems to me that ol' Masko wasn't just hat pulling those name but just legitimately was not familiar with what the Throw ability was. In fact, had he been making them up off the top of his head, then he certainly would have had something more to say than, "I dunno." Like, "Uh, that's Band Kirby. He, like, totally rocks a band on his head. It's all blue and allows him to, um, do things. Things that bands allow you to do. Bands that are blue."

2) Black paint is about the blackest thing you can get, which was one of the mocking points targeted by Nega Bogg: characters who are completely black and dark. Pitch, granted, is generally used as the standard of darkness. That's the sticky goo, by the way, not the green bird. Although, in right, he is pretty dark. You have no idea what he does in his free time. The things I have seen... Anyways, the Fallout Boy CDs were included as they encompasses the new brand of lame-o music. It probably should have been My Chemical Romance or some more heavily emo band to drive the point home, admittedly. But, hey, Uncle Gobbo was going insane at the time. Well, more insane.

3) I don't have pockets, or money for that matter. But, I'd probably cut the fool in twine. Would they actually leave you stranded for purchasing a game? Obviously, they should be aware that you already own the console if you were just forking over the thirty bucks for the cartridge, unless you are keeping that a dark secret like your fear of clowns.

4) If you qualify as a "noob", they what are all those other gits?

I'm pretty sure he's just, you know, a thing. No floating, no just-a-head, just a thing, whole and complete... minus the legs and arms. You know, like Galbo or Sparky or Mumbies... okay, not that last one.

Viva la raza! Toothless Aggression! Finger of Death! Ooooh, yeeeah! Excellence of Execution! Lie, Cheat, Steal! Rest... In... Peace! Yay!

Bah! "Lol". I hates it, hates it bad. It's like some disease that clings to people and is spread at the end of every one of their heinous text messages. This infectious ruination needs wiped from the internet like the rest of its extinctions deserving brethren, the sins propegated on-line, just like - ... what? What do you mean, "What am I doing here?" I wasn't in that blast. Uncle Gobbo was. I'm spic 'n' span, just like my dishes.

Pfft! You'd think the person who played Super Smash Bros. would have realized that obvious fact before concocting some harebrained scheme involving obscure references to brief moments in old games that are barely a connection at all. Straight line, people, A to B. Always the answer.

I'm fine, thanks for caring. It was the boss man who got the better part of the boom-boom. Of course, any part of an explosion is pretty much one you don't want to cross. Well, some people may want to cross them. I'm lookin' at you, Bloon.

Boo!

Boo! You thief!

Boo!

Moo! ... Yay!

1) Sirens are a bit annoying. They weren't too integral to the overall song flow, so they could just be cut out. Besides, I'm the only type of siren people want. * strikes some poses * ... Whatever! I'm irrestible to Dream Landers.

2) The only real difference between the two tune types of titles is the technology behind them. Game Boy had a rather crummy sound system, consisting mostly of beeps and bloops. The same went with NES. However, as technology advanced and games had more memory to store information such as sound files, they would flesh out more and branch into different sounds. Or, something like that. I don't know, truthfully. I haven't heard any music from any of the newer games. I don't even have ears!

1) I'd say, "Hey, Meta Knight. You use to be coo'. What up wit' dat?" Then I'd cut his face, which would just split his mask, allowing me to really cut his face. That punk.

2) What? Did you miss our initial appearance? In Session #37? It was an entire day! Way to make me feel special and overlooked. * sniff *

3) You have asked questions in the total of fifteen sessions, including this one. As for how many individual questions appear within these questions, I'm not your abicus.

4) The possible number of questions is infinite, so the feat would be impossible. However, should you attempt such, I'm certain the block of text would just be ignored out of spite. Then, you'd get the Meta Knight treatment. I'd suggest gettin' two masks.

5) That ol' FAQ should be updated, but there's not too many frequently asked questions. It's more of a guide, and the basics have already been established. Things that the "Wii" question will eventually become irrelevant and shouldn't be held as a permanent fixture. Notice how the same standard was not held for Episode 66.

6) Wow, that's descriptive. I believe you speak of the school episode, Dedede Academy. Luckily for you, someone happened to ask something about that episode previously, so it was known to actually exist. Otherwise, you'd have been cut!

Stop wantin' to cut people!

7) Kirby would become Smash powered! No, really, he could not eat the comic. It's on the internet and therefore is not materially real.

I was a V once. It was fun. Yay! I was pointy and stabbed blue berries. Even though they seem blue, their juice is blood red. Yay! I take candy from everyone, especially strangers in vans. Try that at home, kids. Yay!

You're an idiot. I already said, "challenging" me is worthless. I know all of this stuff. It's a waste of my time to dig up meaningless answers that you don't even really need to know the answer to. It doesn't help you, it doesn't help me. Really, all of these "challenge" questions are total cake walks. Watch: (1) Scarfy, Two Face and Mr. P. Umpkin attack when Kirby gets near. (2) Nightmare in Dream Land, Air Ride, Canvas Curse, & Super Star Ultra. (3) Gordos. (4) Rick. No one likes Kine and Coo is too distant. Really, this question is baseless and more a matter of opinion; however, Kirby is shown on Rick's back more when more than one pet are on screen for the pre-level intros. (5) Beam. A pre-schooler with access to Kirbypedia could answer all of those questions. I put, after all, all of those answers in there.

You'll keep doing it, you say? No, you won't. 'Cuz I just won't humor you next time. This is annoying. In fact, you try it again, and I'll the following text has been deleted as it was too vulgar for the internet. That's pretty bad.

I agree. Hah. Last question and an easy one at that. Go, Frella!