Ask Guru Gobbo #57

I think I discussed Dream Land Dash before, a crappy little game that actually does feature the same said goblin-esque gum drop despite not being intended as the star. However, this was just a Kirby fan game created with multiple modes of movement methods for many means of mobility through m-levels. However, if Squeaks was given his own, true title not affiliated with the Kirby universe, which could truthfully be accomplished since he's little different than a plethora of funny little cute things that have appeared in video games of old and doodles since my youth, then he'd strangely not change much.

It'd most likely have a platformer since action is his key. A skill and control based series of puzzles where the player would guide Bogg through a mixture of labyrinth using his bouncing abilities, off from walls and springing from the ground, would be key. I'd probably embellish his toxic nature as the means of attacking foes. For example, spitting a corrosive globule at a wall so it would roll down and drip onto a potential danger or spewing out a lingering cloud of stench to slow enemy pursuit. Bosses would be taken out with some crazy puzzle strategy rather than sheer brute force, like dropping a brick on their head through some Rube Goldberg machine.

Actually, this sounds a lot like the Dungeon Delver game I have laying around except with easier design and less characters. Great, now I'll probably be putting that on my plate of junk to make when I hit a road block in other shouldn't-eve-be-called games.

1) A) Mini is the American name of the ability. B) Minimum is the rightful Japanese name, sorta like how Burning turned to Fireball. The Angel to Cupid was of religious evasion rather than, "We just felt like it"-ness. C) Kirby doesn't go at the end of the ability's name. At least, not in my book. That's pretty much junk done for the animated series. Mini is the ability, and Kirby stays Kirby when he has it, just smaller. Fun fact! Mini does grant Kirby an ability hat, but it's too small to be seen. Prove me wrong!

2) Waddle Dee has a mouth, actually, as you can learn at the directed location. It appears plenty, but only when open. The animated series is another beast altogether, a radical one, from Hamongoya, I shan't tame.

Well, it's a remake, for starters, rather than a new game. It's cool and all, but not as great as a whole new adventure could be. Being able to play as Meta Knight or Helpes in The Arena isn't what I chalk up to as worth re-buying a game I've had for years. Next, there is the cynic in me. I know that things were nerfed or twinked, an odd combination, when the jump from Adventure to Nightmare in Dream Land went down. Then, lastly, there is the fact that I don't own a DS. I not only will not be playing the game but can't. Of course, I still wouldn't, probably, if I had the system and would, instead, pop in the game to my SNES. Oh, wait, I don't think that thing is working right now. Well, then, I'll twiddle my thumbs. Dopdy dopdy do!

1) Ooh! That type of spiky-headed bird. See, I thought you called Flappy by that name in some fashion. The spiked helmet chick is Pichikuri. Again, this name is present in the gallery. I did double fact-check the nature of, just to be safe, but I assumed this one was correct right off the bat. Normally, if a name is fabricated, it'd be, well, like "Flappy" and just generally describe it. Should it have been "Spiny Cheep", "Spikehead", or "Iroo", I'd call foul against it.

As for the blob thing, "blob thing" is not what I'd use to describe it. It's barely a blob or amorphous shape at all. It's really more of a nautilus or devil mollusk. Anyhoo, same condition as before, it's called Dale. Air Ride sure did have some weird foes in it.

2) I know of no artwork for any of them. The only pictures I can offer are the sprites from the each games' directories. Artwork is a tricky pickle, not to be confused with a radical beast.

3) Of course, Crystal Shards, the game with a dump of unmemoriable enemies that I, also, have not played. The Bo do, now, kinda remind me of those squishy things from Dream Land 3. Still, I don't know which or what huh could why how.

4) I guess it's never been said that Doc isn't a Squeaker. In truth, he does appear to be a white Squeaker wearing glasses. He fits the profile. In fact, this manga scan shows him in a rare out-of-craft moment. Here's another. Now, unlike the normal junk that can be questionably canon, when an official manga does it, it carries more credence.

5) Mr. Frosty, I don't believe so. Wheelies, yes, in the racing episode to give Wheel. They don't really have a personality to change, however. Paint Roller was in the show, too. I don't really know what could have been changed on the guy. Nothing was ever really established with the scribbler, game-wise, unless you count Avalanche. And, yep, I knew that wasn't how they were called. That's item thirty-seven in my list of complaints.

Oh, I'm not digging through all of those piles of pictures, screen shots, and videos. That'd be far too many to name and sort. Truthful, from what is known is that all the enemies, mini-bosses, and bosses have come back save for Capsule J, who has received a make over. If anyone else was known to be changed or not in it, they'd have surfaced in the gossip. So, as is known right now, everything else is good. That will probably be updated on the 22nd, which is today, but not the same today I wrote this. Additionally, since I post in the AM, my facts will be stale as the day progresses.

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I hate that guy. I mean, I shouldn't as the design is really quite good and all and J1 was basically a blueberry crossed with Doo, but I hate the betrayal of my old memories. I wouldn't mind if they just made a wholly new Jet abilitied enemy, but they did this, this perversion on the character. Bah! Anyhoo, my anger issues aside, J2 be here. Fun fact! Originally, the J was for Jawsome, but now it stands for Junk.

1) People bash Air Ride since they considered it too childish, even by Kirby game standards. I've never played it, so I can't rate it, but, from what I hear, it doesn't sound like they are too far off.

2) A copy of any of the newer games would do me little good as the reason I lack said games is because I lack the systems they are played on. Never got a DS, and never even got many Game Boy Advanced games at that. I think three, total.

3) Never! Hrhr. Really, tho', they slated an '08 release. There's still time left, but its curious if, A) they even will or, B) they'll try to ride the waves of Super Star Ultra or try to pace themselves.

It's a good theory, I must admit. The new mini-game, Card Swipe, features several faces from Kirby's past games. They could, very well, include these. However, given the description of Revenge of the King (like two characters needed revenge in Super Star?), I think it will be more like an Extra Mode in Dream Land I, with the old bosses but tougher. Gordo droppin' Woods, maybe a bomb chuckin' Kracko. Everyone faster, more health. Who knows? Well, by now, probably you, the reader. The game's out already. Who is even reading this?