Ask Guru Gobbo #140

Where are you even getting this junk from? It's been clearly stated and noted numerous times as of late to not get off topic. Haven't you ever seen angry eyebrow Kirby?Just spontaneously announcing something as a comment to a Mailbag or other update has no bearing on anything at all. The news comment system is not an open forum where you just post whatever. It's opinion or response to a specific feature or addition to the site.

And the fact that you think I was the one deleting them is further insanity. I do nothing moderatory. It's always the blanket "Site Staff" or, more recently, The Evil Ometon who is associated with tightening the belt of behavior.

Kirby does most of his traveling on the Warp Star. He hops on that little astro-taxi when he needs to jump to a new scene in the same level. I'm pretty sure something of the same likeness is used to go between corners. It's what he uses to jump between Rainbow Islands in Dream Land 2, after all.

1) The most asked question, probably, would be some form of the "membership" or "sign-up" question. It has no lead on, no basis, and plenty of explanations all across Gurus. Still, I am bombarded with that lateral thorn!

2) There's never any prior mention of what the following Interactive Fandom contest is going to be to prevent people from getting any ideas. That seems a little odd, but since the rules, examples, and what-not are written up, I don't want people to get false hope in the way of an impossible creation. That'd just be wasted time and effort.

3) Why would a fan game be a real game?

4) Uh... no, not really.

5) Hey, what the!?

6) That's some... poor wording. Isn't this all addressed on the front page article posted by Kindar Spirit? The site will exist, not at this URL, but it'll still be.

7) Mario is a hyped franchise. Are you honestly saying you can't find a large fan site? There's probably at least twenty of this site's caliber or higher found easily out there.

1) There's several final bosses. Each game has one. There is no true final-of-finals as each game has a different cast of characters, different plot, and different goal. King Dedede, Nightmare, Dark Matter, Zero, Grill, etc.

2) Knuckle Joe isn't in the animated series much because ... he's not. He isn't a regular character. Outside of the core cast, most folks only appear once or twice, if lucky. Asking why he doesn't appear more is like wondering why Tiff is in every episode. 'Cuz it's the character's appearance apportionment.

3) I'm not here for tedious, menial tasks. The closest I've come to counting all enemies was where I originally stated "not gonna do that junk". You can count them all.

You are reading that wrong, 'fraid to say. The wordage is "a special edition Kirby game and anime DVD". That's "a game and animé DVD" not "Kirby game and animé DVD" as two separate things. The magazine just featured a promo that contained footage of both games and the animated series, shoved together.

1) It's sad that this topic has reached the point where it has to be addressed with several statements of "no progress made." It began with the 2008 release announcement, and then the sudden inclusion of the title on the list of coming Wii titles got everyone's hopes up for E3. Unfortunately, as we probably all are very aware, there wasn't even the slightest hint of the puffball in any capacity at this year's Expo.

What's that mean? Well, nothing. I means absolutely nothing. It doesn't mean that the game won't come out at some point this year or next but it certainly doesn't bode well for a game that's already had this many delays. On the other hand, when the pile is stacked that high, what's one more on top? Bottom line, we're no further along to seeing, knowing when we're seeing, or even if we're seeing Kirby on the Wii than we were at the year's start.

2) Why is it that every can seem to notice possible peril that this site may face but fail utterly at reading the gigantic, clear-cut, and concise message from the site's founder, Kindar Spirit, right on the main page? I guess I'm partially to blame for this since I haven't updated that poll on the front page in a while.

Rainbow Resort isn't going anywhere. Ever. The hosting is going caput, but it's not like there's a gajillion ways and places to get that. Files move, visitors can be redirected, and there's still two months to transition. There is no worries, yeah, really-really!

Yeah, of all the people to imitate, you choose my family. That'd sure slip by me unnoticed.

Anyhoo, this is actually a good question. We all (should) know that Meta Knight wears a mask to hide his shame. The cover keeps under wraps his cuddly, adorable, true face. Since he's serving King Dedede, the one who generally causes misfortune to all the Dream Landers, there's a lot to be ashamed of. Keep in mind, I'm going off of the plot from the first two games, which has since then been horribly ret-conned. There were plenty of puffballs like Kirby in Dream Land, and Meta Knight was just another can in the six pack.

And then we get to Galacta Knight. It can only be assumed that he's in the same Meta/Kirby boat, although there's no proof that since his mask is never removed in his sole game appearance. Now then, by pure speculation, we assume there was no King Dedede in his original time. He's from far in the past, very far. That's probably much more than the hundred-some years Dedede was accredited with in the animated series, so this eliminates the shameful servitude possibility. In fact, he was powerful and dominating, so he had nothing to hide. He made the rules, yo.

So, what's with the mask? It's probably just the closest thing his kind can come to wearing body armor. Boots, shoulders, and the rest is just a head. A mask seems the right way to go. Is that the true answer? No, but is it the best logical assumption? Probably.

That, or I could cop-out and go with "to create mystery, generate interest, and connect with closer with Meta Knight." He is, after all, the Meta Knight to Meta Knight.

This guy actually sent in two separate questions. I was about to void it based on the first half alone since, really, what does that even mean? "Level 5, not saving, huh?" He didn't even bother to mention what game was being played until two whole days later. On top of that, he expected some sort of immediate response rather than, as described on the front page, a batch being released when enough questions have been received. Of course, he also greeted Kirby Warrior, so that should clue us in to how aware this guy is.

Well, if you even find this answer against all odds, I don't really know why your game isn't saving. That's a technical/hardware question, which is really out of my jurisdiction. Best I can tell is that your battery is dead. All internally saved games used battery backed saving features. It seems like a great idea to avoid lengthy passwords, but it also means that the game will be rendered unsaveable after many years. Some of my NES games are still truckin', but my possibly bootleg Amazing Mirror stopped keeping data shortly after I beat it. My guess is that you're in the latter boat, or you played it an awful lot.

The Dark Matter Swordsman is really Dark Matter while Dark Matter is the Real Dark Matter, really. Confused? You couldn't possibly not be!

It's a naming bugbear that is often overlooked. The true and first appearance of Dark Matter is as the sword wielding warrior. This is how the entity is seen and largely known, being the evil silhouette seen at the end of the titles for the bad ending and the same shape that rises out of the defeated King Dedede. It, by right, is Dark Matter. Nightmare worked much the same way, having two forms as well. His were "Power Orb" and "Wizard" forms.

Dark Matter's two forms were his initial form and then Real Dark Matter, which is the more recognized eyeball form. He didn't have a fancy little surtitle to go with his modes. Rather, the two were distinguished by one being a false form and the other being his true appearance. However, this was only the case in Dream Land 2 where there even were two forms of a Dark Matter. In 3, Dark Matter started out in this eye form and later revealed himself as the nefarious Zero. Thus, the whole "Real" prefix was taken out of his name as it wasn't needed. Later, in Crystal Shards, Dark Matter wasn't even a battled form. Rather, it was more the possessing globules of blackness that spread about the galaxy.

Since an eye surrounded by darkness is more who we identify as being Dark Matter, that's what we call him. The swordsman is just a distinction title thrown in there to clarify who is meant. Like with Nightmare, it helps to single out which of the forms is being addressed. Rather than just saying a non-descript "Dark Matter", you can tag on "Swordsman" and eliminate any confusion. Of course, no one really goes and tacks on "Real" when referring to eye; however, as it's generally accepted as being the Dark Matter, there usually isn't any question on the matter. As for "Dark Sword", that's just made up fan jargon or possibly strategy guide phooey, like Rob-o or Meta Droid.

1) Yes, as has been addressed numerous times, Gurus dropped from every day to barely every week from a staggering drop in the volume of questions. Equally stated, everythings been asked. There's a lot of verbose banter piled up in these sessions, and they cover a lot of ground. On top of that, I kinda shot my mouth up a bit at some more pestering questioners and scared away the petty lot, and they made up a lot of the stock.

2) Outside of the Animal Friends, Kirby's chums have been stated as being Gooey and Waddle Dee. You know, the focal one from Crystal Shards. Pretty much all of Kirby's acquatences appeared in one of the Dark Matter Trilogy games. They used a lot more friendship and gettin' along. Super Star about has indentured servants with all the Helpers. They don't wanna help; they gotta.

0) I got some bad news for you: Squeaky Bogg isn't real.

1) Much like the one's being chomped on right there, his favorite is the peanut butter sandwich cookie. It's technically two cookies in one joined by a layer of sugar. No wrong there.

2) Now, see, this would just create a paradox. He's supposed to exist in the same realm as Kirby. So, if he's right there on Pop Star, he couldn't be there playing the games. Unless, that is, Dream Land has the Dream Land series on their li'l twinkle. That, of course, is ridiculous since we know full well that Nintendo doesn't ship games intergalactically. So, this question cannot be answered on the grounds that not only does it not exist, but neither do you!

3) Do people even normally have those? Most people would probably shrug and guess big foot. That's crytozoology, fools! Where was I? Oh, right, completely on track. Well, if one couldn't figure it out from the goblinoid's origins, his favored creature mythic is the kobold. 'Cuz, you know, they're goblins but with mad respect.

4) You act like these things are thought up with any amount of foresight or planning. No, sometimes when drawing one, it comes out as something entirely different. It's part of the fun. Even I don't know what'll be next!