Ask Guru Gobbo #84

1) No, you are just looking at a tree instead of the forest. Do you have any idea how many times I have explained the arms? Do you? There's a dump all throughout Ask the Gurus where I've had back and forths about it. I only tend to say what is necessary when I'm not feeling up to it or don't feel like trying to find out where I said it. It was a lot easier when I had only a few dozen sessions to sift through, but do you have any idea how frustrating it is to find anything on Meta Knight? The guy pops up, like, at least twice a session. But, of course, it's always the time when I say, "Ah, no one should make a big deal over the glib this time," that someone, generally more than one, thinks I missed something. No, I pounded it into the ground before. I was just tired of restating information. What makes it even worse is that I can't find it. Bloody! Curse my tendancy to reword things colorfully! I know it's somewhere around here. Did I write it up for something and lose it? Did I dream it? You know it's getting bad when you imagine this stuff.

But, yes, I am very familiar with how his sprite was portrayed in Super Star. I had that game mastered, after all, before a lot of this site's fans were even playing video games. I think I had this discussion with Ivyna J. back in the day, on a stack of hay in the month of May. I do say, it was a crazy day since I got tetanus. ... Anyhoo, much like you said, it is only some of the time that his arms have length. But, do you see what they always have? Girth. Noodly arms is not just a slander or reach but one of over all appearance. Those arms are just, just, gloves topping off his normal, meaty flippers. At least the anatomy is not changed. His gloves are just being filled by invisible Homestar hands. He still doesn't have lean, mean, elbows. Them suckers, now, are pipes. Fleshy nubs are not pipes.

2) As for you actual question, Cook Kawasaki was not the first to skip over. Why, prior to him, Mr. Frosty, established in Adventure and Pinball Land popped in Dream Land 2. Of course, I think that was graphical recycling. But, yes, for the most part, not many characters introduced in Super Star were seen in the Dark Matter trilogy. Of course, not many characters, especially mini-bosses, ever reappear in Kirby games. I think Bonkers and Mr. Frosty are pretty high up on the appearance count list.

Ah, a good ol' honest question. General Vul, recently named in Super Star Ultra, was previously known as "Captain". He is the captain of the battleship Halberd. Meta Knight wasn't responsible for its navigation and function, unlike how is more recently portrayed. Without the dedication of a whole sub-game, Meta Knight's crew was scaled back to being, oh, him. Anyhoo, Vul is just some vulture/bird man who has never done anything outside of appear in Revenge of Meta Knight. He's just a captain of the ship, as can be told from his uniform. If you were expecting anything further about, such as a back story or deeper details, then you really don't know Kirby games.

0) I can honestly say I had no idea. Really. I've never even heard of that website or knew it was an affiliate. In fact, I was so ignorant of that fact that I still don't know who it is or that it is a problem. I'm not even sure what I'm talking about right now. What am I doing? This isn't a question. Moving on...

1) If you managed to get the "B" ranking, then you should know the answer to that already. It tells you right there. ... No.

2) Oh, great, now I'm going to have that image haunting me for ever. The topic of his voice has come up before, but I'll even confess that I don't picture it much like that. The problem is that there's, really, two Squeaky Boggs. There's the cute, lovable whatsit that chirps like a rubber ducky, and then there's the other one, the calloused, bitter, sieging Rainbow Resort variety. Strong Bad really is a good starting point, I'd hate to say. It has the right tone and harsh manner; however, the SB of RR has a higher pitch. It's a very hard combination to pull off without sounding outright bizarre or inflicting dementia.

3) There are plenty of cyclopes in the Kirby universe, but it's really not fair to use the list you gave. I mean, four of them are effectively the same thing. Waddle Doo, Flamer, Peezer, Wizzer, Drifter, Heavy Mole, Jumpershoot, Tedhaun, Storo (technically!), Blade Knight (it's true!), Scarfy (sometimes), Magical Sweeper, Capsule J old school, and more, probably, in addition to those named by yourself. The single, looming eye really sparks a feeling of a watchful presense and ominousness.

Well, you both right like gits, and you come to mind first since you were the original. I can't be blamed for guessing you. "Angry, all caps? Hey, I know who did that a lot." Besides, I didn't think either of you came around these parts any more. There's a shocker.   .||.|

1) That's pretty simple: Eggman actually is evil. Didn't he, originally, imprison little forest critters inside of robots to make them run or something? The guy's just one mean bean. All of the Kirby villains, however, are specifically not evil. King Dedede is just a greedy jerk, by right. Dark Matter just wants friends? Marx, too, was just greedy for power. He wanted a crown, not to inflict suffering or wholesale cruelty to anyone, especially not cute critters, which, on Pop Star, is about everyone.

2) His show actually followed stuff from the games, at least I think, a little more than Kirby. Didn't they go after the Chaos Emeralds or something in it? I dunno. I never watched it. I'm piecing stuff together from commercials. Anyhoo, they didn't just say, "Okay, here's the game's plot. Now, let's do something radically different." A big help in my opinion.

1) 'Cuz they changed the affiliated foe.

2) There's more sub-games, for the most part: Revenge of the King, Helper to Hero, Meta Knightmare Ultra, True Arena, and the multiplayer mini-games. Wham-Bam got a face lift, and Capsule J was replaced. Aside from the overall graphical update, most of it remained in tact.

3) Super Smash Bros. is, effectively, a bunch of toys fighting each other. At least, that was the original story. It's not really Kirby smashing Donkey Kong or eating Samus. But, really, not violent? The guy rampaged across Pop Star because of a slice of cake!

This is the Romanization Shuffle, a term I just invented! It does along the same lines of the Amazing Mirror boss Gabriel really being "Gobbler" and the Dream Land 3 shark foe being "Jaw" not "Joe". Sharks have the worst of luck. There's even the classic case of Mr. Frosty versus Mr. Flosty. The problem arises with how a name is to be interpreted. You see, each of those name pairs given, in Japanese, is spelled exactly the same way. The one world's name is MEKKAI much like Kirby is KAABII. Now, when things are being translated, you can look at it and either say, "Der, Karbee" or spell it Kirby. There's an intended route aimed for in many names.

Sometimes, however, for reasons beyond me, people change the outcome to, I don't know, make it seem more Japanese? A great example of this is in Digimon. There was a big bad by the name of Arukenimon. Yeah, that's just Arachnemon. It's obviously Arachnemon. She was a spider. The name, normally, was translated Arachnemon. However, in the show, bam! Arukenimon. Now, whether or not the "actual" reason was Japanophile pandering or honest ignorance, I can't quite say, but I know the way I see it.

The pilot. That thing is like a wonderful dream. Everything that I ever disapproved of in the animated series, outside of Kirby's speech, was right in this initial version. Then, they went and ruined it all. Kirby sucked things up and spit them out. Abilities were instantaneous, such as Ice Dragon being spit out as icy breath. There were no transformation sequences or gaudy additional attire. Dark Matter was there, even if not in the main role. Meta Knight was evil. The fight scene was traditionally animated which looked oh-so good. Kirby rode his star in a corner, not like a skate board. The unnamed "girl" didn't speak and therefore was tolerable. King Dedede was, well, probably the same but less the horrible voice as there was no speech. He was at least working with Kirby against the newer threat at the end of the five minute short. Yeah, five minutes. Really, about only half of that has much happening outside of Kirby crashing down below. So, yeah, two and a half minutes constitutes my favorite everything out of at some forty hours of show. Two minutes. Because those two minutes did it right.

I've never seen a full episode, less the pilot, in Japanese, not that I feel that makes any difference. I've only seen a handful of early episodes, and those were so unmemorable I don't even think I know or paid attention to what was going on. And, keep in mind, I'm still a fan of Saturday morning cartoons. Not so much now since most of them blow, granted, so it's not like I'm comparing this to Pirates of Dark Water or Exo-Squad and am thumbing it down. If I had to pick an episode, tho', since it seems you won't give me peace on the issue, I'd say the first one with Kine. Keep in mind, that's just because of Kine. It was Fumu-filled and that set it back a lot, but Kine is hilarious. Just listen to him. Classic!

1) Hey, wow, that's only been pointed out, oh, plenty times before. Really, the puff is more a threat to the safety and wellbeing of Dream Land than he is a savior, but we all still love 'em anyways. We shouldn't, but do.

2) You tend to blarg out your thoughts in giant run-ons. You said, precisely, "the squeaks came and destroyed and took everything." Now, "destroyed" is a transitive verb; it needs an object. You can't just destroy without something to be laid to ruin. It goes within reason that everything is the shared object between the two verbs, being whatever they didn't bag, they broke. And, in offense to your previous question, it wasn't a question, really.

"Okay then, one more question to call it a day. Let's hope it's a short one as I wanna get out of he- ... ahh, crud."

1) He uses the mallet as a weapon, not a tool. He's far too lazy, anyways, to use it to, say, pound nails or stakes anyways.

2 & 3) They never say. That's magical details that the world of Kirby completely glibs over. Actually, do they ever say where any non-lame animated series guest character came from? Far as I know, nope.

4) Ya know, you asked this question already. I mean, it's one thing when someone pulls a repeat, but to repeat your own question thirty sessions later... that's a little sad. You made Baby Gobbo cry, and he's a terrible monster who eats babies. What? Did you take it that he was an infant? Nope, he's named after his favorite snack.

5) Dedede never "teamed" with Nightmare. He just ordered just from him when bored. An evil corporation never turns the opportunity to turn a buck.

6) Old age, disease, murder, and physical trauma. You know, the basics.

7) I don't have a favorite episode as I hate them all.