Ask Guru Gobbo #103

That's not a Kirby. That's a Copy Ability! Making believe a Kirby would be making making a whole new puff with similar yet different capabilities, like Gooey had. I'd be a made up Kirby, the teal puff ball Bloon! Yay! I blow instead of suck and shuffle my feet to fly through the air!

1) Drawcia is a painting, alright. She is not controlled by any foreign entity, associated with any evil being, or even, to my knowledge, haunted by the subject of her own canvas. She is just a painting -- a flat surface with colors -- that spontaneously popped to life for reasons never given, but those are certainly not Dark Matter. If she was, she would be popping the big eye rather than several. And not have the mouth.

2) That is flawed reasoning. Even outside of Kirby's realm, Dark is probably a number one ranker in the boss title scene. "Dark" is the only one that, really, appears on a lot of bosses, but that is because most of the bosses are Dark Matter. It still tops the list with three: Matter, Mind, and Nebula. Only one final boss has "Matter" in its name as the other one is not a final boss, Miracle Matter. It is just a stage boss and isn't even involved in a final chain of transformation. "Soul" only appears a grand total of twice, and, as mentioned in the referenced material, should not have even appeared that second time. "Marx Soul"? A dead, resurrected version is the complete opposite of what comes to mind with that. If anything, it should be Soulless.

Effectively, your statement was, "Have you noticed many bosses are Dark Matter?"

1) Should it be any surprise that the little fellers have gender? Everything does, except, like, minerals, I guess. Just because they all look the same doesn't mean they are. These subtleties are discernible to the untrained eye. I, um, don't really know what that detail might be. The same is true with baby chicks and baby... well, baby anything, truthishly. Those hot buns are still dough and misshapen, know? Even people baby. If you weren't wrapped in either pink or blue while fresh out of the oven, people would have a hard time telling what you were.

2) Even when faced with a horrible meal, it beats one that you would have had to make yourself. You with me, gals?

0) That's just ridiculous. People should have some simplistic idea of where they are at in a run.

1) It's just poor market analysis. They think making him look more threatening will broaden appeal. Apparently, they didn't get the memo about Kirby being a pink ball. Stick with what you got, Nintendo of America. The cow gives you milk for free, so don't try to make it lemonade. ... No, you're mixing your metaphors up.

2) I doubt the action/adventure genre will ever fade away. It'll change and evolve over time and technology, but it should linger. Now, the "spin-off" titles weren't meant to be downplayed. They're still a great part of thet series, but the two nicely intermix with one another. It keeps things fresh and interesting, typically as the makers scratch their heads to make the next gimmick in the next platformer. You know, before giving up and digging something out of the back of past tricks and super sizing it.

3) It was something like that, yeah. I heard they had photos. Horrible photos.

4) The two both fill their role. Mostly, the web smart management done in Gurus- sorry, New Gurus, is just nautical miles ahead of the stitched-by-a-prayer make-up at Mailsack.

5) Oh, it certainly does drain the hours, trust me. It's done daily since that's when a "cache" gets filled. Work would still have to be done in the same length of time to answer all the questions, so it's just better to get people what they asked sooner.

6) Hey, I'm surprised I'm doing this now.

G) You know, the internet doesn't go anywhere. All these pages will still be sitting around here, chillin' like a Chilly.

1) Say whaaa? No body cares about that squash match. The cheers were over Andre putting the smack down on the G-man himself.

2) Bouncy? Bouncy is a bowed, spring foe in the games, and she's never been in- oh. Oh! You mean Bouncy Tiff. See, folks, that's why punctuation and grammer can be your friends.

Yes, that's rightfully from the show, episode 89: Tooned Out. She was the character to star in King Dedede's cartoon he had made, which was supposed to be about him. Rather, the animators had a, well, liking of Fumu instead, thus the show was Fumu-tan of the Stars. Like any anime worth its weight in paper, the heroine had to conform to certain, ahem, standards. I think standards and practices (not to mention being utterly disturbed by the thought of such) prevent me from unveiling what this is about. ... Wait, I'm evil. Buh-bammo!

3) First off, the Cappies are a pathetic and meager people. To put it gently, they suck. Hard. They don't even have their protective mushroom caps to keep them safe. They're helpless and powerless to stop him. Second, Tiff and Tuff deserve anything they get. Little punks.

4) Yeah, both Blade Knight and Sword Knight are in the games, and neither had anything to do with Meta Knight before Super Star Ultra.

... What?

Super Star Ultra has plenty of easter eggs and bonus content, a huge chain of it, in fact. This chain ends with The True Arena. Seriously, bro, there's, like, double the game in that title than there was. You want there to be more? No, that's it. It's over. Go outside and get some fresh air.

1) Yes, he was, but he wasn't serious. What is “seriose”, anyways? It sounds like one of them cancer sugars. Anyway, political parties are for 'tards and their kin. I'm a conservative, that's it. The entire quip was all just a slant on that event being the only one known four years in advance.

2) When you hear the name "Kirby", you instantly think, "He's for the people." That normally smacks of the wussy liberal agenda. But, then, you look deeper into his actions. When King Dedede took all the food Dream Land, a classic example of the monarchy over taxing its servants, Kirby rose up against the crowns' decision. Who fights high taxes? Republicans is who. Also, what's the K-puff do to the bad guys? Does he try to rehabilitate them or give them life sentences. Yeah, in hell, 'cuz those suckers be dead! Puff boy is totally down with the death penalty. He's G.O.P. all the way.

3) Dedede's rich and greedy. Need I go further?

4) Meta Knight is a mystery. He never shows his true face. He's flipping -- one minute attacking the land and the next defending it. He's got no stable platform. He's aloof. He's unreliable. And, somehow, he's charismatic. Meta Knight is a politician. I could have easily bombed the left wing with that one, but all the fat cats in the houses can choke on that one. Nega Bogg out. Peace!

It's called a joke! Plus, I had no real idea on how to actually pull off the event, and when I read it, I thought, "Oh, hey, this could work in my favor." It was a work, and you were kindly included in it. Really, ya gots to work on hearing the jestful tone within words spoken... on a webpage... silently. That, right there, is what I'm talkin' 'bout.