Ask Guru Gobbo #39

Note: This isn't taking an icon request. More to the fact, it is a suitable representation due to the Ascii art. Besides, it's technically a new icon, properly sized and listed, Old School.

Anyhoo, if you had posted the message in code, something I could kind have tell you intended since the letters were presented in the order to spell "If you wer..." and then fell apart due to letters already being defined. Really, though, if you had done that, you'd have found your question in the garbage bin, probably.

As for the transformation, either of them, the answer would be the same: I would be horrified at the sudden, unearthly alteration but then would immediately go to, I dunno, Japan or something, and be adored by thousands. They dig that stuff out there, right? Of course, then there'd be the problem of HAL taking ownership of me since I'm their intellectual property. I'd probably be charged with biological infringement on their copy righted character and, to avoid jail time, I'd have to work in the company's day care centers as a much abused plush or entertainment piece. However, those first few minutes of worship and fawning would, yeah, probably outweigh that remaining lifetime of suffering.

1) A redeeming quality of the animated series is being able to see characters who are less then noticed, even if only one more time. For what few times he appeared, Kine was pretty awesome, but, then again, how could I giant dullard not be great? Folks like Ice Dragon and Galbo are other greats I wish I got to see, unless, that is, their appearances were as rushed as Kracko's. Near bloody every game, and the cloud got next to no screen time.

2) The Dream Landers' backs, you say, could be Waddle Dees. This cannot be the case, however. We clearly see that Waddle Dee's sprite is a shade if not two darker than the standard Kirby skin color. All of the members of the crowd are just as pale and pasty as the titular hero. So, they either all jumped into some bleach, haven't seen the sun in years, or are just not of the Dee variety.

3) Most useful power? That's been discussed. It's Parasol.

4) Kirby wouldn't explode into a gory mess if he had bitten off more than he could chew, or swallow since I don't even think he has teeth. As with most elastic materials, he would reach his tension point and just tear. However, since he normally stops inhaling after he snags something or, in recent games, can only inhale for a short period of time, I do not believe this case would ever arise. There'd have to be, say, a chain of enemies all dashing towards him to keep the supply of new entries into his oral cavity fresh, thus preventing a termination of the intake method.*

* This question has a follow up in Session #41.

1) In what world, ever, does the prefix "meta-" translate to "mechanical". Because I certainly haven't heard of robotic branch in metaphysics or the nuts and bolt stage of a metamorphasis. No, this is not what the partial term comes even close to meaning. Mecha-, now, that means mechanical. Meta- is used to describes things that are beyond, behind, or better developed. Basically, he's superior, a better knight of the new generation. That, or he's a rear knight. Really, tho', I don't think they took much consideration into his name. It was probably more of, "Hey, what sounds cool?" type of deal.

2) Oh, Heavy Mole. Here I thought "King Mole" would have been some dumb dump demon from the animated series. Anyways, the relation between the Moleys and Heavy Mole is... a-nothing! It's like in Pokémon when they decided to name a new monster "Kecleon". Yeah, that was basically its Japanese name, but America had the Eevee evolutions all named with -eon suffixes, so people instantly assumed they were tied together despite that obviously not being the case. This is about the same, and even with less to tie them together. One is called "mole" since it is a giant digging machine. The others have "mole" in their name since they are, well, moles. The only thing shared between the two factions is that both dig.

Looks like I don't even have to do anything for this one. Animaster already beat me to the punch, even covering the green bit. Sweet deal, too, since green was one of the lesser covered colors in my general knowledge.

1) Kirby doesn't wash the food since, um, Pop Star doesn't have bacteria! Yeah, that's the ticket. There's no parasites, virus, microbes, or even feces in Dream Land, so all things are safe no matter how many seconds they've been on the ground. And, even if there were some type of bacteria, it'd be so adorable and round, you'd want to catch whatever illness it gave.

2) While slightly touched upon by Bloon, "King" Dedede is actually Dedede Daimyo,* which is just a feudal lord. Sorta like a fat cat land lord, several of them served under an Emperor. Since the hammer slammer owns a castle, it puts him in the league of big shot daimyo. So, not only is likely that there are other daimyo in Pop Star, but it leaves the possibility that there is someone even higher up on the political ladder. This all, of course, is contingent on whether or not they are using the title to its accurate feudal Japanese meaning. It just means "big name", so there are a lot of liberties that can be taken with it.

3) Kirby is not a zombie. His reanimated body is just another example of video game physics. And, really, he doesn't die when he loses a life. In most cases, no video game character does. It is more that they are injured or exhausted to the point where they cannot continue, so the bad guys haul them out of their territory and boot them out the gate, or something to that effect. If they were dying in all these cases, then you'd have to add in accounting for the transportation of their body mass across long distances and all sorts of other stuff. That, or some games use it as a time lapse where, if you did die, you get so many shots at not dying, almost like a temporal reset button.

4) Kirby can never be hugged as whatever he touches injures him and possibly explodes. His unhuggable state is his secret pain.

... What?

* This answer is corrected in Session #42.

Uh... yeah, they are usable. I mean, you can post and read messages there. Now, if you meant, "Are the forums tolerable?" it'd depend on which boards you bothered frequenting. I tend avoid a lot and, even then, browse lightly. There are certain "spam gutters" used to catch most of the garbage that makes general forum fare unbearable. I've been a member there since December of ought-three and have yet to build up three-hundred posts, last I checked, but I'm not much of a talker. In comparison to the Chat Room, now, it's much more usable as it doesn't have the ... lack of moderation seen in the IRC room? That, and it actually has topics pertaining to Kirby in it.

I would say nein. The battle, in my opinion, isn't that easy. I thought that fake fight against Dark Meta Knight in Amazing Mirror was much easier. I blew through that battle without even thinking about it on my first time through. But the masked melon ball wouldn't just let Kirby win, ever. He always has a greater cause or motive in mind to just lay down. I mean, the guy just wrecked his giant battleship. I'd want a little bit of payback after that. Also, why would Meta fly after and chase Kirby off his ship when it was going down. He was mad before the fight, mad during, and was a sore loser afterwards.

Yes, that's my grainy, pencil, choppy edged style of image creation. If they were drawn by someone else, I would have rightfully given them due credit. Also, then, they'd look a lot better. However, I rarely try to depend on other people for halves of work loads so that the pace set is my own. That's why I don't have any co-Gurus or such. Wouldn't nearly reach this amount of throughput if I had that weight draggin' me down.

2) I liked the stage select. But, true, it was a little bit of a shock to the system jumping from Super Star to that. However, from all the pastel-like graphics and such, it was known to be a different looking game.

1) Back to the first bit, the majority of the characters are cameos, I do believe. At least the human ones. R.O.B. and Prof. Hector are from the classic NES game Stack-Up. Of course, thanks to Brawl, about everyone knows who R.O.B. is now. Donbe and Hikari are, wait, another pair referenced in Super Smash Bros.? Okay, sure. Well, they come from Shin Oni Ga Shima, which is a game based on a classic Japanese folktale. Chamu & Goku are also from another game, Yuu Yuu Ki. Outside of that, I don't think the Metroid reference even needs acknowledged. Lastly, Angel is just that -- an angel.

But, they don't appear every third level. It's more of every fourth level, with R.O.B. on a sixth (multi-item collection stage) and Samus on a second (task performing stage, if I recall correctly). Plus, it still doesn’t really account for the very much so human Ado/Adeleine being there. I believe her story is that she's an artist from Earth studying art on Pop Star? I think that's what I read in a translated page of Japanese Wikipedia, so it should be a little more credible than, say, American Wikipedia.

Those aren't helmets! Onoes! Well, okay, they are, but don't mask much for Blade Knight. In Super Star, at least, if you look closely at his sprite when damaged, you can see his protective plate pop open a bit. This reveals that, for starters, his lone, cycloptic eye! Now, some folks claim that the pink thing is an oversized, ever stuck out tongue. From this one picture, it does sorta look like that, but in every other picture it totally does not look like such. Rather, I think the pink is just his helmet's beaver seen from the inside. The same white shine can be seen on his green and gold parts, and that cut trench down the middle is probably not the crease in his tongue but just the trough in his mouth guard. So, you could probably just lift the metal parts right off his shoulders and that'd be what he was -- a parachute pants shaped navy blob with one eye and an optional long tongue. With, maybe, crazy hair jutting out his back. Sword Knight, much the same, would probably be equally as detailless, something like a Cappy or Gabon but with a large knob coming off the back of his head.

However now, if you mean Sword and Blade Knight from the animatetd series, after initially not caring in the slightest, I would probably reckon that they'd have that same, annoying, armed bowling pin whatzit look that all of those types of characters have: Fumu, Gartrude, Princess Rona, etc. Frankly, I think my artist renditions are much better than all those bushinin renditions floating around out on the net.

(A) A nakers Blade Knight with the speculated hanging tongue. (B) A nakers Sword Knight with floppy head. (C) A "I've been on Knuckle Joe's diet program" Blade Knight sans armor positioned to show his jutting out, armor filling face. (D) The same Blade Knight but wearing his pink beaver. (E) An ugly, non-cycloptic Blade Knight I put in to fill space. (F) Girly-man ani-lame Sword being yelled at by Pop Star appropriate Sword Knight, holding his long helm, since his alternate mockery is wearing make up. (G) Squeaky Bogg taking out the trash.

1) Future Bimblesnaff didn't predict anyone coming, just an "interference", which could be about anything. I took it to be time-space modulation inflicted from his temporal hop scotching and resulting oddities in regular session format. Anyhoo, the never-to-return ICIC members were Minch/Mint Chocolate Chip/Gemini, Frella/French Vanilla/Hawk, Treca/Butter Pecan/Siren, and Bloon/Blue Moon/Teal. Just a sample of the Ice Cream Island Crew, 'cuz the first one is free, they are all named, obviously, after ice cream flavors, the first name in the list being the truncated result of the next listed delicacy. The third names listed are their classic '90s American Gladiator analogues. That, however, is a story all in itself to be explained never!

Now, if you meant "who were they?" as in what actual folks filled their roles, which I don't know if you were asking but want to establish anywise, they were just multiple personalities of my own. The ICIC are just some of the crazy Dream Landers I've doodled out over the years. I tried to use them to reflect alternate points of views from questions and to give a bit more of a heel edge to answers in some cases.

2) I doubt the arch nemesis would be someone of that stock. For starters, everyone from that point in time, just two years ago, has about left the Rainbow Resort. Shadow Scar, Kauser, The Kreepin' Kirb, Glod, Alphray Revortay, Oreo Kids, SiR6, Kyusil, Kindar Spirit :P About the only blokes left from that time frame are Disaster and Disk. It must be something about the D's. Okay, so there are a little bit more than that, but as far as major players in the event went, that was it. So, unless it was someone who just wanted more face time. Although, when you think about, Kyusil is a pretty good candidate. More likely, however, the individual plotted that with the upcoming then twenty day back predicted disaster approaching, a new look-forward-to-it even would be needed. In this way, my hands are bound and the prophecy must be fulfilled. What prophecy, you ask? That's a good question.

3) Not a fan of older Kirby games, ey? The enemy Spikey, a porcupine, granted the Needle ability. I know that Animal wasn't around yet, but Animal is a specifically targeted ability. For starters, not just any animal possesses it. It takes that specific kind of large clawed digging mammal to offer it to the pink puffball. Since the 'pine is more prickly than nailed, it would give the Needle ability.

4) In the battle of the bulb, Light would probably win out. Sure, electricity runs through the thing, but it is capable of producing light predominately. Sparking is more of a secondary or undesired result from its use.

I never had resent towards him for being a blue ball with a sword. I said he didn't deserve his own game being a blue ball limited to only the sword ability. Anyways, the "bear trap" sword is, I'll give you, a new one. I've always just thought of a possible Meta Copy being just a stab 'n' leech, as in the blade literally draining out an enemies ability in a special thrust. And, really, by all right, couldn't his "inhale" just be engulfing something within his cape? I mean, that's what he does in Brawl to unleash Galaxia Darkness or whatever, isn't it? I think they could stretch that into a form of eating.

Anyhoo, I resent Meta Knight since he's a popularity sweeping, romanticized, show stealing, overrated tease of an enigma that, much like the writers of Lost, I don't believe the game makers even know what they are doing with him.