Ask Guru Gobbo #31

1) Dyna-Blade is merely the story of a large mother with very large, very hungry baby birds. She's not meaning to cause destruction, but her chicks have to be fed. Whenever she flies through Dream Land, however, he great speeds and massive wing span tend to whip up some devastation on top of the food she snatches.

2) The Water ability, confirmed for the "upcoming" Wii title, can be seen in a demo video at IGN. In it, there can be seen a small, globular helper/foe that looks like a water drop with beady, Kirby eyes. Kirby, wearing a wavy, water hat, shoots a series of balls of water up into the air at varying angles. He starts, say, at 80° then down to about 40° before whipping back up. It's only in the video for a few seconds, but that's probably enough to get a good idea of what it does. It's a rapid, trajectory based attack.

3) Generally, Meta Knight is only working against Kirby since the puff is in the wrong. However, they were both on the same (right) side in Amazing Mirror and, kind of, Canvas Curse.

Such a cliché tragic origin story doesn't seem suited for Kirby. Mega Knight, maybe, but I don't think anyone is doing any dying in the Kirby games, past or future. It's just not that dark of a series. Omnipotent evils, yes, but dead families? He's not the Punisher. I'm certain he has a family since it is known there are others like him, either seen at the end of Dream Land or, worst case, in Meta Knight.

As uninteresting as it would be, his feet would look just like the rest of him: round, flat, and without detail. Basically, just what he looks like now only with pink instead of red. I don't see any reason he would, say, have toes when he lacks fingers.

1) Threatening? No, but sneaky and thieving? Yes. Rodents are little bandits, creeping into pantries and kitchens to pluck out some food or shiny thing before fleeing the scene. This is what they do and what the Squeak Squad does. They take treasure, food, and whatever else pleases them. It really is quite in their nature. They aren't really much of a threat but don't have to be since they plan on just pulling a grab and go with the bounty.

2) One really has to wonder where a lot of the ideas for Kirby came from: a balloon like creature that eats other beings to either catapult at others or gain their power? Actually, go outside the realm of Kirby to magicians in training that can transform into lion and eagle men while casting elemental magic or a boy with a bat who collects pills to become some sort of wicked demon while hopping into and out of doors to go between nightmarish worlds. How about a group of thieves that tried to steal from the powers-that-be and were cursed with immortality and the only way they will be allowed to die is if they return everything they stole over the hundreds of years they were immortal? And, of course, how about a plumber who hops on evil mushrooms, gets power from other mushrooms, and saves mushroom people? Magic John (or Totally Rad), Monster Party, and Mario Bros. No video game has "normal" attributes to it. The people who make these things have very creative and imaginative minds, and, unlike Lewis Carroll, they probably do it without dropping acid.

3) I am glad for the moment. I'm just waiting for them to pull out the big, black marker and jot down those slants any moment now. I mean, really, that's about what it looked like they did for Squeak Squad. I mean, really, did they just have one of the NOA guy's four-year-old son apply those lines in MS Paint? But it's about time they present Kirby the way he should be. He's happy and jovial, not stern and hardcore. That's, like, Sonic's territory, and nobody wants that Kool-Aid.

As for KRRR Radio, which voice was hilarious? The regular one I used, the "Bimblesnaff interview" voice that sounded like a mousy creep (which I am!), or the drawn-out, dry tone of Producer Ems? That last one, actually, wasn't me.

1) No, a thousand times over. This is just coincidence. Being a ball of slime-like stuff, his name obvious comes from, you know, gooey, sticky, vicious, and have properties like goo. Coincidental names are nothing new. Kirby's own "Gabriel", that big shark from Amazing Mirror is really named Gobbler. However, the Romanization of the two happen to be identical. Much the same, "Joe" the shark in Dream Land 3 can also be read as "Jaw". Which makes more sense to you?

Such misunderstandings don't even have to be from one language to another. Just when Americans are trying to translate things from Japanese to Japanese, they have trouble. Why, for a Pokémon site that was giving all the name origins, they listed Charmander's true name, Hitokage, as being "shadow of a man". Granted, that is what "hitokage" means, but "hi" is fire and "tokage" is lizard, so they weren't considering the whole picture. Much the same, Vileplume or Rafureshia gets his name from the plant, Rafflesia Arnoldi. However, dumb Americans Romanized it into "Refresher".

2) I would freak out because the fictitious beings suddenly became real. After that, i would find out if that brown part is some type of clothing that they wear, a fur, or their skin. That really bugs me.

3) If his chain wasn't there, it would be realized too late that he left it in his other pants, which then brings up the questions why since he doesn't wear pants, let alone why he has multiple pairs.

4) According to the animated series, if Kirby ingests the Warp Star, he gets the Star Rod ability. I don't really think that would happen, tho'. I'm pretty sure he'd just be out of a ride from that point on.

5) If Dees suddenly started using actual offense, I would initially question what the game designers were thinking but would eventually forgive them for the now bountiful supply of Backdrop granting enemies.

Loosely touched upon priorly, Kirby generally fights for the greater good. It was really only those two cases when he went berserk in his quest to "do good". Every time he's vanquished Dark Matter, no one else could get the job done. Dream Land, and the surrounding planets, need Kirby to save the day and just have to tolerate his occasional outbursts.

In no such way! I, in now way, watch, read, enjoy, or take vocabular from Naruto. No, I use Doppelganger since it is a folkloric being and commonly (normally unawaringly) drop such words into everyday conversations. Once I had to stop myself from comparing a situation to Thor eating and resurrecting his chariot goats. I seem to drop in a lot of mythology for relations, mainly because that's what I know. I get all of my intel, now, from the original source to which I can later identify it as such in popular culture.

(PS: I hate Naruto.)

No, you really don't need an origin. Kirby lived in Dream Land, there were problems, and he stepped up to the plate. His origin story is all of one that is needed: he's a hero. You don't need to have the played out "I'm the last of my kind" or "You killed my family" or "I'm the chosen one" or "I'm related to the bad guy" type of drivel. All of those types of origin stories are what make the "tragic hero" cliché or any Mary Sue/fan character. Hrhr. The animated series wanted to paint him in this sort of light, however, and made him that "special one" and created by Nightmare on top of that. The games, thank goodness, are not that story driven. Having Kirby simply say, "Here I come to save the day," is all that is needed.

2) Real Dark Matter is the form most identified with Dark Matter, the black sphere with one eye and yellow things at his back. He appeared under this title in Dream Land 2 after first defeating the swordsman variety of him. The player is led to believe the game has been won, but then, uh-oh! Here comes the real enemy!

3) Mario and Sonic have been two clashing forces for over a decade. Mario was the Nintendo icon while Sonic was the Sega super star. People have always wanted the two forces to square off, and having them compete at the Olympics seemed to make sense, why not? Kirby, however, doesn't even compare in popularity to these two. Plus, they didn't need a third side to the equation. It's a "them versus us" situation.

4) Meta Knight dons a Pengy suit to fool and elude the Pengies on their take over in the episode "Chill Factor".

5) The same underlying principals that are flawed about the dubbed version still affect the original version of the animated series, in my opinion, that being about the same thing that makes most Kirby fan games, comics, and other works flawed, too. It's not really a Kirby show (game, comic, etc) but more a show that just happens to have Kirby in it.

6) Vampire Meta Knight? I don't know how you got that from it, unless you know a lot of Spanish vampires. Still, no one takes the Rick and Meta Knight voices with too much seriousness, but King Dedede is actually tainted forever by his fat, Southern sheriff voice. People can actually write how he talks, so it has slowly dripped down and started affecting how the character has a whole is viewed. Being the most poisonous, his terrible dubbing wins out.

7) Dark Matter appears, truthfully, in only three titles: Dream Land 2, Dream Land 3, and The Crystal Shards. A "version" of it appears in Amazing Mirror as Dark Mind, and it is speculated that a horribly diminished, pulverized form of Dark Matter exists and was imprisoned in a chest as Dark Zero (Nebula) in Squeak Squad. So, three truthfully, four is you are accepting, and five if count all variations.

8) Meta Knight is actually good for the most part and King Dedede is just greedy outside of the animated series. The only real option left is Dark Matter. Its whole taking over of people and worlds is a boat that most don't want to float.

9) No.

10) They have done almost any conceivable Kirby game using balls as the basis, including making some up. The only place left to go would be the incredibly unimaginative, like tennis or soccer, and that just begs the question, "Do you want money that badly, Nintendo?" I would go a different route, though: Kirby Water Polo! Finally, a use for Kine!

11) Swallowed enemies go into Kirby's stomach, at which point digestive enzymes process and break down their components to more basic elements, such as simple carbohydrates and amino acids. After sufficient churning, they are move through miles of small intestine to have the broken nutrients absorbed into the blood stream. I'm not quite sure what happens beyond that, 'cuz Kirby has no bum.

No, he is not. His mask stays stuck to him like glue. Note: It may not forever stay stuck to him throughout the course of the animated series, but I just worded it like that to be creative and colorful. Regardless of the fact if it is off of his face at some point, his face beneath it is never shown.

I never really considered the whole cartoon angel spirit angle. He's sorta dead and battered, so that's 02! Bandaged with wings and halo. Hah. It still seems, however, that no one has a clue about the cactus tail.

1) There is no gallery of them since this isn't "Squeaky Bogg's Magical Showcase", scheduled for release this fall!

2) Nightmare got a real shot in the arm from the animated series. I'm going to guess that, since it seems folks at Nintendo didn't really care for the direction Shinichi Shimomura's games, they went with the only other established evil. In addition to being not just a big blob with a big eye, Nightmare also offered a more contrasting antagonist (Nightmare, Dream Land). Also, he was just a force that caused evil. Dark Matter possessed and took over entire worlds. Inflicting suffering and evil is much more defendable than, say, possessing. I guess they wanted Kirby to actually defeat the Demon Beasts rather than have them just be folks in Dream Land that got taken over. I never even considered, actually, that it was his first real foe. I sorta glib over him as an unspectacular finish and passing character. Well, I did before he blew up as large as he is now.

4) Marx rides the same train as King Dedede, but he's a bit more sneaky. He never does anything really evil. Marx simply had a clever, devilish ploy to gain ultimate power: have Kirby do all the leg work and then step in at the last moment to claim the prize. He just wanted power. He was greedy, selfish, and probably a bit of a megalomaniac. Evil by our society's standards but no where near the level of sinistry needed for cartoony super villainy. Deceptive, underhanded, and scheming, all yes. Truely evil? I wouldn't say so.

5) See reply #3.

I use the name "Bimblesnaff", so I don't know why folks feel they have to say, "Yeah, I have a weird name." I think folks who come to this section of the site are about immune to the oddness of user name since I've worn them out.

But, really, another sorta request for this? Fine!