Ask Guru Gobbo #124

Today, I plant my feet and establish some "golden Qs" to redirect people to should they ask a tired and previously scattered set of questions. Also, plenty of chewing out. Uncle Gobbo's gettin' tired, kiddies! None are spared from my wrath! Yay!

- March 27th, 2009

  1. Meta
  2. Travis Langford
  3. Game Qube
  4. Jordan
  5. 02
  6. Dancing Kirby
  7. Theorizer
  8. Game Qube
  9. Capsule J3
  10. Insert Name Here
  11. Waddle Doo Dah Day
  12. Theorizer

What's the deal with Kirby? Why can't Hal make any more games? Did they give up? Are they just thinking "Let's make the same thing over and over again." I mean seriosly! Why the hell can't they think, alright, this Kirby game will be the next Dreamland 3! Why can't they bring back the old flair Kirby had. Honestly, I found myself bored, yes, bored playing Amazing Mirror. I found myself able to put Squeak Squad down, (usually I'm glued to a Kirby game, unable to drop it,) I found myself almost trying to make myself die in Nightmare in Dreamland. I just don't understand. What's stopping the people of Hal from breaking lose from their shackles of the same games? I know, this sounds like I'm an ingrate fan, but I just wish that Hal would return. Hal should expirement with Kirby again. The animal friends expiremt, the Canvas Curse expirement,and the copy ability mixing expirement all where great! I loved those games! I think Hal should expirement by trying a Kirby RPG, by making Kirby 3-D, or adding Kirby with tons of brand new abilities, enemies, and level styles.

So to cut to the chase, why won't Kirby strike back, when will Kirby strike back, and will Kirby strike back?

- Meta

Squeaky Bogg

If it hasn't been apparent, they like to keep at the status quo. I'm actually down-right nauseous of having to dig up that tired ol' explanation of why things changed and why they don't go back, which is surprising since I loved those games. Apparently, that much other people miss them, too. So, here's the end-all to "Why Kirby gotta be different now?"

Sakurai and Shimomura worked on all the early Kirby games, with the exceptions of Crystal Shards and Super Star, respectively. After that title released, both were as good as done with Kirby and Nintendo for that time. Since those who loved Kirby left him in the hands of heartless business men, they turned the pink puff into a cash cow and largely churned out remakes or expanded versions of games already seen. Then, the animated series came out, so everything had to be like it, which meant be like Super Star, ie: have hats and lots of marketable abilities. During this grim decade, many games were horribly delayed while other titles long since cancelled were dug out of their graves. Innovation about fell flat for what was seen released.

There, now that's all consolidated. As for why HAL doesn't try and break this cycle, let's take a look at Super Star Ultra. In less than two months, the title became one of the top sellers in Japan for '08. Pretty good for a game that already came out ten years ago. It's also a pretty clear message to the higher-ups -- clear, not good: Kirby is fine as is. Why take risks with new concepts when people are glad with what has been known and had for years now? Keep feeding hay and keep getting milk.

That's all my take on the matter, at least. Truthfully, it doesn't matter to me how much or whether they remake old titles 'cuz I already own them! Ha-hah! Take that, children of the '90s. Time for me to don obnoxious fluorescent clothing and slap on a bracelet 'cuz I'm too legit to quit!

Ranting and re-hash aside, I have a gut feeling that they want to take Kirby to the next level. They've been hocking him like mad, even Nintendo of America, and have even dig up some of his past. If the Wii title comes out, and I mean if, that'll be two games in two years for the puff. They seemed to have a lot of hinting to Kirby's past in Ultra at that, with the Animal Friends and Dark Matter. Since their take seems to be that Kirby only lives in the past, maybe a "Dream Land 4" stand in could be in the works. You know, kinda like 2 and 3 but not really either. Why do I say this? 'Cuz I said, "Yeah, there's no chance Kaboola will be returning in any game ever" right before Ultra proved me wrong. Here's hopin'!

But, as for wholly breaking ground on the Kirby frontier, there's many reasons why he stays a 2-D platformer when it comes to action. A 3-D game wouldn't be without complications given the general game mechanics. As for the RPG, Kirby is typically targeted to the "beginner" gamer. I don't know much about the Mario RPG, but any sort of tactical, skill selecting game play has to be geared towards someone with more attention span. So, the two markets are pretty incompatible. Mario is an all ages kinda guy 'cuz he's just so classic. Kirby, for so many reasons stated elsewhere previously, tends to scare away or be shunned by most gamers of maturity.

So, with any luck, in the next two years, a new, actually new game may be on the horizon to bust the blubber out of his rusty rut. That'd be great, no matter what fashion it was made.

Are you going to post more episode screenshots for the Kirby of the Stars anime page? I would love that!

- Travis Langford

Squeaky Bogg

I won't, no. The Animé area is a part of largely master minded and maintained by one Ivyna J. Spyder, so if the job were to be done, it'd be spear headed by her. I, personally, detest the animated series and would never edit a single character on any of those pages. Anyhoo, Ivy's been a little out of the Kirby game as of late. Her main focus, regardless, would be to finish the Hoshi no Kaabii fan subtitling, not screen captures. If you ask me, personally, screen shots of episodes lost all meaning on the internet once everything could be found on YouTube. Why see a still when you can just watch the entire episode?

in kirby wii will clean ability have a hat?

- Gameqube

Squeaky Bogg

It's already been shown in the teaser trailer from years ago that, yes, Clean wears a hat. Every ability does. It's the same yellow cloth wrap as it was made in the animated series.

In the Kirby Super Star Ultra ending the helper wasn't there why?

- Jordan

Squeaky Bogg

Hm, descriptive and with poignant sentence structure. Well, by "ending", I'm going to assume you mean the 100% completion movie bit that plays with next to all the characters in the audience, and by "helper" I can only take it that you mean the flying cyclops who replaces Kirby's copy ability based helper for the fight against Nova's Nucleus. Well, not everyone is there. It's down-right next to everyone, but is Wham Bam there, either of them? How about any other over-sized character? There are holes from making it every-every.

And if you didn't mean the Star Chariot assistant or the 100% ending, then I'll say it's a pre-choreographed movie sequence. They don't have the flexibility to allow any or every possible helper to appear with Kirby. Revenge of Meta Knight pretty much required a Wheelie Rider to be present and thus is the exception to the rule. Any other time, however, especially with the full 3-D movie renderings, no effort is going to be put forth to compensate for all the dozens of possibilities. It's like how in most cinema scene heavy RPGs the heroes will always have the same weapons and armor no matter what is currently equipped. That's not the focus. If thought to be, you're missing the point.

1) How do you pronounce 02's name? is it "Oh too", or "Zeeroh too"?

2) what's the name of that fireball-bat miniboss guy from Amazing Mirror?

3) What do you predict will happen to Meta Knight in the future? (Hal gave him wings, fingers, arms, shoulder pads, and boots), so what do you predict Hal will give him next?

- 02, Not ZeroTwo

Squeaky Bogg

1) I say it "oh-two", but it's supposed to be said "zero two". It's like James Bond. You say "Double-Oh Seven". It's not O's but zeros, yet that's just how you say it.

2) That burning bat baddie is called Bata Fire, or Fire Bat in some cases. Which sorta... lacks all imagination and spunk. That's not it's Japanese name, either. Did we call it that? How lame. ... It's, um, name wasn't stated in the Amazing Mirror Games' Section? I have to admit, I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.

3) Meta Knight never really got fingers. A thumb, yes, and a flattened, invisible paddle at the end of his flipper to fill his gloves, but he does have actual fingers... yet. Anyhoo, I imagine that he'll keep growing features and clutter until he winds up looking like some poorly thought up fan character. You know the type. I'm just counting down the days until he gets himself a cliché spiky do.

5 Dance Questions~!

1. Why does Kirby split into three carbon copies of himself during his celebration of defeating a boss? Where do those little copies come from.

2. Does dancing like that run in the puffball species? If so, does that mean Meta Knight can dance? ...That would be... AWESOME!

3. Why is it Kirby dances ever so merrily when he defeats a boss, or even completes a level, but he seems to never have enough time to shake his pink booty after finally defeating the final boss?

4. Is there a single game in which Kirby does NOT dance upon completion of something?

5. If Kirby doesn't have shoulders, knees, arms or a body, how can he do the macarena? (Poor Kirby... unable to do the macarena...)

- <(O-O<) (>O-O)>

Squeaky Bogg

1) I think I had Minch tackle the end stage duplication priorly, attributing the multiplication to the Twinkle Star's ability to produce mass. Really, it's a bull answer, and it's only carried with any end stage event since that first game set it as tradition. But, really, I don't think anyone, ever, said, "At the end of each level, Kirby does a dance, but why should he split into three? To the chalk board! We're not leaving till we crack this nut." Definitely not a concern.

2) Dancing isn't a genetically linked behavior. It is taught and observed by younger generations for rituals and, typically, mating. And, who else would a Dream Lander learn dancing from but the king of dance himself: King Dedede!

3) Typically, the said busted grooves are breathers taken out from a journey wrought with hardships. At the end of the long day, he's not going to pause when the troubles are over. He typically goes to sleep. Plus, there is one boss he gets down to after defeating, the first final boss ever, King Dedede. It's partially cut out as most of the steps take place while the player gets to see the king blown out of his own abode, but it's still there.

4) In Avalanche and Star Stacker, depending on the played mode, Kirby is just dancing all the time without care for what's going on at the moment.

5) I consider him fortunate that he does not have to know of that horrendous, decade old fad dance. That lucky soul.

Q and A session! Okay, you do the questions, I'll do the answers! Wait...

1. My friend's been talkin' about Kirby Wii alot, and he's been telling me that Kirby will get a new attack in it. He says: "You know how you can press Down and B to make Kirby do a slide kick? Yeah, while in Kirby Wii, you can press Up and B to have Kirby do an overhead kick, like in Brawl! :D" ...except with out the colon, and the D at the end.

2. In Dreamland 3, I had recently expirienced a glitch. Or at least I think it was a glitch 0_o Anhoo, I was playing the minigame with the different color gordos springing out, and you having to count them, before they go back behind the block. ...BUT! When I was playing that mini-game, a white, yes, WHITE gordo came out, and the triple-ball guy asked me how many white gordos there where. I said one, because I only saw one, but then the triple-ball guy said "Nope, there where 5". The game then froze. Has anything like that ever happened to you?

3. Why is UFO so famed? I think it aint such a great ability. It's a mix of Beam Whip, and Laser Shot. Who cares?

4. What ever happened to the gimmicks in this thing? I mean, I'm really greatful that you're doing this, and I think you're doing an amazingly great job, but I loved your sessions when they came fully packed with a fun lil' gimmick, such as the Ice Cream Island Crew, or when there was that "something awfool will happen" thing.

5. Which way is Hal headed with Kirby? Is it doomed, or will Hal ever strike back?

- Theorizer

Squeaky Bogg

1) I've never heard of such being introduced in the game, but, then again, I haven't been following much of any of the developments on it as of late. The only word I'm waiting on is: "Kirby Wii -- finally out!" Anyhoo, since so little has been revealed about the game, and since I don't recall seeing such in the trailer... two years ago... I'm inclined to dismiss this as a product of the rumor mill. Not saying it's not true, just not confirming it.

2) I've never witnessed such a error, and I've played quite my share of "Count the Gordo".

3) UFO is so famed because it was super rare and limited prior to Squeak Squad. It vanished at the level's end, it was usually hidden away, and pretty tricky to grab on to. The ability has more to it than just a combination of Beam and Laser. The super-charged, plowing star bullet can level through a whole row of enemies and blocks, something normally only throw or a big gulp can dole out. However, the main thing about UFO was its aerial prowess. It allowed the puff to hover and attack mid-air. Other abilities couldn't do that. Plasma Wisp could, and then Angel stole some of UFO's thunder, but it still reigns as the sky king after Coo.

4) Gimmicks dried up once I planned to usurp the Mailbag. Here is really suppose to be suited more for straight answers, despite still sliding into snarky snaps every now and then. Ometon and I will probably do crazy stunts over there once we get settled into our rut.

As for the Ice Cream Island Crew and other such antics, such really were lucky whims that fortune caught and carried on a breeze. The questions, amazingly, just happened to lay out right so that the many fabricated personalities worked for the answers. The later times I tried pulling such stunts, it seemed to almost fall flat and off mark. It was amazing it got done the first time without a hitch, really.

5) I think the guy I think is your brother already put that question to me at the start of the session.

I need your help for a comic because #1 I can't draw #2 I don't know how to do it. I'd also like to become a member of rainbow resort and I don't know how to do that either. so please help me.

- Gameqube

Squeaky Bogg

1) My suggestion, honestly, is then don't make a comic. If you can't draw, stick to another medium, like writing. If you can't write, don't make a fan fiction either. I see this as logical progression. If you want to make a comic, fan or original, learn how to draw first. This isn't an over-night process; it can take years. I didn't get any where good at drawing, by my standards and retrospect, until the end of my high school run when I was drawing all the time. That's the key to learning how to draw: do it, a lot.

The best "tutorial" on drawing I ever saw was three easy steps. "#1 - Put a pencil on a piece of paper. #2 - Move it around. #3 - Repeat for years." It's like a runner training for racing, as my art teacher use to say. Run every day, and you'll run faster and further every time. It's a skill that takes training and dedication, just like art. Or, you can do a cop-out and just use pre-existing sprites. I don't really condone that, tho'. No offense, Torkirby and Super Computer. You're stuffs good, but how often can you normally say that about a sprite comic, let alone any fan comic? Answer: rarely!

2) Seriously, you're asking this? Qube, Qube, Qube. Mh... really? How long have you been reading these? I know you've been around and submitting questions for at least the last few weeks. Did you ever notice the never ending crawl of "membership" questions pointed to in the Repeat Response or anywhere else? You had questions in both Sessions #117 and #119, where the question and re-directed answer came up again, not to mention that in #122, you were in the Repeat right under a third (at least) membership question. That's just laziness. I know I normally try to avoid the old time Gurus' half-sponse of "I've already answered that", but, really. Really. You aren't some newbie who just walked into this section never to return again. Should be a bit better than that.

1. What kind of cookie are you eating there?

2. Why do you seem to be so happy now with your mace?

3: Why are people so obsessed with asking you about your face?

- Capsule J3

Squeaky Bogg

1) Wow, here I thought the cookie question came up before. They're suppose to be peanut butter sandwich cookies. Not the Girl Scout variety but the two pound dollar store kind. Cheapness, ho!

2) You're referring to the new "Baby" Squeaky Bogg face. Well, if it wasn't answered with that phrasing, it's supposed to be a cute, innocent, small Gobbo toddler... with a big, deadly, child-unsafe weapon. Awww!

3) To flesh out and squeeze dry this question, I truly believe it's 'cuz I actually present something. A lot of people are rather one-sided with avatars and representations. I go out of the way to make a constantly changing, very varied, and differently drawn icon/avatar/persona. Different emotions, different expressions, and not a cliché animé style; these are the corner stones for piquing interest in the masses -- standing apart! Who knew?

Do you have any new updates for upcoming Kirby Games?

- Insert Name Here

Squeaky Bogg

If there were any news on upcoming titles, it'd be posted on the main page. Do you honestly think the site would withhold information on a new game's release until some schmuck thought, "Der, tells me 'bout da newestly gamez"? No. The moment something new is learned, it'll be reported on the front page with much fanfare. It'll take forever before a game page is developed for said title, but it will be acknowledged post haste. So, stop asking about new game information here, people! This has been a public service announcement from Uncle Gobbo sayin' that all future pointless questions to such affect will be directed here and thusly ignored.

1] Whats the relationship between dark matter and 0? Does 0 control dark matter, Is 0 dark matter, or does 0 simply tell dark matter what to do?

2] Where did paint roller's other name ( Skainter) arise? I can't find reference to the name in any of the Games/Anime/Magna.

3] Whatever happened to sailor dee? Did he escape the halberd in Revenge of Meta-Knight?

- Waddle Doo Dah Day

Squeaky Bogg

1) Ever since early on, I've understood the relationship as Dark Matter is the vehicle and Zero is the driver. The black mass is more of a facade used by the white 'n' red. That's how I'd take it, seeing as the darkness spreads out, splits, and forms smoggy clouds that can stretch across entire stars.

2) Those dubbing bugbears like "Skainter" and "Meta Lance", I believe, are the wicked work of unofficial strategy guides published on the Kirby games or from blurbs in includes regarding such in video game magazines like Game Pro. Those rags are always botching names of items, information, and other details, so I tend to put them blame on them. However, there is a running theory that the name was posted here on Rainbow Resort, for some reason, and that proliferated its impression on the Kirby community. After all, we're the number one source for all things Kirby.

3) The faithful and loyal Waddle Dee from Revenge of Meta Knight, who was even on the ship at the time of Kirby's dual with the titular foe, is never shown to evacuate. So, he could be a goner. Like Rorschach says: "One more body amongst foundations makes little difference." Kirby's eatin' and slayin' left and right. Does that loss really make any more impact?

Theo' here with some Q's for yous! That's right! I can rhyme!

1. What is the name of the beetles that bugzzy shoots? Recently, Mints suggested a cool name for it would be "Fightning Bug", but he assumes that it is something like "Red" or "Beetle". It most likely doesn't have a name, but I'm just wondering... does he? I mean, Tinsel had a name, so why not this guy?

2. People sure are in love with certain bosses, (for me, Dark Matter), and we all, (I asume) would love to see the return of our favs. What are the chances, of our favorites returning? I know Dark Matter will never get his chance to shine again, but will others, such as Marx, or Drawcia ever bask in the glory of being the final boss once again?

- Theorizer

Squeaky Bogg

1) That I can find of them, no. Every page I see just calls them "insect" or "pet insect", but it's not like it's the English word insect romanized, like "Insekutto". No, it's the Kanji, I'm guessing, "虫", which I don't know how to translate. Katakana is easy to break down, and hiragana is possible to work with. Not even all Japanese people know all the Kanji, so a stupid American like myself is clueless to know where even to start. So, yeah, "insect". Every source just calls it that. And, yes, I checked to see if the Kirby Wiki at Wikia had its name. Nope, it's just another stolen page from Kirbypedia. At least this one feigned to be different. "I'll tack on 'Like a Double star' and people won't notice that this vocabular is entirely unfit for me, as this sentence is quickly developing likewise." Bah! I can't even emulate lackwit losers properly.

2) I don't see Drawcia, Marx, or even Nightmare ever getting to take the driver seat as "main villain" again. Really, Dark Matter was a rarity. He had the advantage of appearing in a trio of games with the same director who seemed to like to gravitate towards a certain pool of characters. Every boss outside of this triad has had one shot to shine, assuming you rightfully group a remake with the original.

Repeat Response:

  1. Explosive Kirby questioned the origin of Squeaky Bogg's name.
  2. Kirbyfield brought up enemies eaten by Kirby... again.

Tune in next time when I literally tear someone a new hole. Will it be a pie hole? Of course not. If anyone gets one of those, it's me. I want more pie in me. All the pie.

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Last Updated - March 27th, 2009