Ask Guru Gobbo #139

1) Nay, the Lobster cannot be beaten at this point in the game. He doesn't even have a life bar to drain.

2) Um, all of the files are in transfer was you read this. They're data just like any other page, sound file, script, or digital banana.

3) You mean Sceptre Knight's Prevenge? Nothing, really. The game was a preview to the game that was to be made, Tuesday Knight Titans, what was to feature some of the Round Knights. The game pretty much said, "Send in your knights" and ended. However, people had to give permission for them to appear, and no one did this. So, nothing really happened.

4) While your at it, let's call the Meta Knights by names like Meta Lance and Meta Droid. And don't forget Skainter! Oh, and Bounder is Climber Dude. Just so no twits get it in their wits, I'm being sarcastic! Those are not their names. Those were never their names. Those are just some stupid names that somehow got affixed to them, either from a poor quality strategy guide or on-line half-wits. Unlike those sources, I translate the names directly from Japanese rather than pull it out of thin air, or the space in my colon. So, get your cocky out of the door before I slam it in your face. G'ho!

That's what we call super invasive ads. It's all tied to Game Spy's hosting, which is ending. So... not really worth touching on that.

No, your asking of it actually replaced Game Qube's mention of it since, well, take your last words.

But, oh jeez, wow. I'm so sorry for missing that. One bleeding occurrence of Kirby spitting something back, out of the whole hundred episodes, and it was hammer at that, not even enemy one enemy fire. I've seen, like, five. All he ever really does is eat some obscure object and copy a barely related ability from it. Shiny blades, anyone? No, no, I mean they don't have Kirby actually behave like he does in the games. He was built on sucking and spitting right back at enemies, like he did in the better than the whole animated series pilot.

This is basic rhetoric, and people are taking it to be an absolute. I can confidently assert that Kirby doesn't talk in the animated series as well. Only a fool would combat that with, "Nyuh-huh! He says 'poyo' and 'bye' sometimes." That's not real talking! He never carries on full dialogue! Much to the point, spitting out a hammer to, I'm just going to guess without even bothering to watch it, make King Dedede "go blasting off again" does not constitute a proper representation of Kirby's inhale and exhale combination, especially when it appears in episode ninety-something! "Something" since it aired in different slots for America and Japan.

Besides, I can tell you exactly why he spit out the hammer: they didn't want him to turn into Hammer for five seconds just to blast away the King! It was actually sloth on their part, not keeping in line with the games. They make a big deal when he does copy something, having him jump up and have the little sequence roll by. It only happens once, maybe twice, per episode. It's like when the lions are brought together as Voltron. And you all should know what I'm talking about, dag-nabsit!

1) I have no idea how it works, honestly. I don't own the game. I've never played the game. The only thing I can go off of is what guides say on-line, which of course contradict each other. You say take longer to inhale, some say can't be inhaled, and others say hurt when inhaled. Worse yet, they don't exactly elaborate if your are hurt when inhaling by the sheer act or from it not entering the vacuum and just crashing into Kirby. I can't even find footage of this since, no shock, no one plays the game without powers! Well, I found one guy who blitzed Ultra sans copies, but he was too smart to even attempt sucking in the rottens. So, since everyone says something different and I normally validate all information by seeing it, there's not much I can say. Still, I'm standing by my prior "hurt when inhaled" stance since I credit those sources more. However, the actual finery of how the appalling apples are bad doesn't really matter since all matters lead to the same conclusion: don't bother trying to inhale them and just get out of the way.

A Message from Bimblesnaff of the Future: The poison apples cause damage as they are drawn towards Kirby's mouth and make contact with him.

2) No, they're supposed to try and look it up before asking me. It's part of the whole first paragraph statement for this feature. This is basic and easily available information I flip out over. The names of new enemies from the recent releases is one thing, but "that owl boss from Squeak Squad" is and has been listed on the Squeak Squad section for years. There's a big list on the main page under the heading "Games" with all the titles clearly put. Going into each page, again, presents you with a list of various sections of information. If one can't figure how to click twice and follow works, I don't know how they figure out how to even submit questions to Ask the Gurus. People are just lazy, by and large, and I only get bitter when I have my patience worn thin over several follies in a short span of time. Basic game information easily found on the site is a real grinder, however.

Additionally, not answering questions just has people ask them again. Usually, the second iteration is more cocky or boastful as if to say, "What, you don't know? You're supposed to know everything." A claim which I never made and frequently deny. I only know everything about the old games. Still, I cling to my right to belittle and mock like my right to bear arms. No pickle jar is a match for these ursul-limbs! That was the best back alley surgery ever! Back on point, the mockery is supposed to serve as a pike-o-head to tell people, "Stupid, make an effort before wasting everyone's time!" Of course, since it's been proven on numerous occations that such individuals lack the wit to comprehend most of my words, it's wasted breath. ... Typing...

0) Inexperience isn't an excuse for anything ever. If this was a poorly designed website, then that could fly. Those places are designed to cater to morons who sign up for a message board and post "hi, im new" in a specialized and inappropriate section. The Resort is more clear in its arrangement. Granted, there's a lot, but I'd consider these question and answer, involvement parts second if not third banana to the Game information. That's why people should be here; those are the parts they should be going to first. Once a handle is grasped on the franchise, then they can more easily branch out to these more specialized areas since they won't be as naive. I'm not saying they have to be masters on all parts, but how could anyone even enjoy reading any of the (supposedly) advanced revelations from these Gurus sessions when they can't even get grasp on the ground level? I'm not even sure who this is directed to, really. I'm just ranting.

1) You're familiar with that entire concept of the embargoed entities but can't connect the dots that if the Animal Friends are a Shinichi Shimomura property and Dark Matter is one as well that the painter, appearing in only Shinichi Shimomura games, would be sailing in the same boat down the River Styx to oblivion? Does something make her different from the rest of the walled off characters? No, she is one of those cut from the flock and used as an example as never comin' back since she actually (technically) has more than one appearance under her belt... skirt... It's a girl.

2) I've pounded to dust any questions on Ado/leine situation more than enough times, but the only one that really matters is the first time it reared its ugly, Hydra-esque head that only seems to spawn anew and never die in the flames, requiring Hercalean strength to crush it under a rock. I, of course, lack both brawn and boulders, so I'm pretty much screwed to this Sisiphean task. Two Greek geeks in one speak! I'm on the fast track to utter disapproving blank stares.

3) Wasn't that very matter directly addressed in a recent Mailbag right at the top first thing? The answer is yes. Quote-exacto: klvnglaknh

4) "Hat Rack"? What the h- oh! In the Mailbag. I wouldn't call it, really, an inside joke; just a reference to one of my colorful comments from Mailbag #60. Just look for Asotoku's question.

That I could find, nope. There are plenty of homebrews, and a good number of talks of homebrews for Kirby. However, there's no follow-through on these. People seem to want it, but they don't feel like doing any more than saying "I'ma gonna make-a it." Hm, just like fan games! One seemed to have a download, Kirby vs All Stars, but you had to belong to the forums to download it. I'm not signing up frivolously. I already got a virus just looking for them! Seriously, I wouldn't recommended looking the thing up.

King Dedede, traditionally, wields a regular, walloping mallet. However, there has been two sole instances where his hammer was more than meets the eye! First, in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, the gave the monarch a weapon that could open up and jet propel. He didn't really have much to go off of entering the fight fest, so they embellished what he had. Later, in Revenge of the King, they upgraded his measly hammer to a overclocked force to be reckoned with. So, it hasn't been that long since his hammer was mechanized.

Um... right, yeah. So, there's this thing called screen shots of Ribbon and Kirby. Okay, that's not it's name; it's just screen shots in either the Pictures or plain ol' Crystal Shards game page. Anyways, it's pretty easy to get a freeze frame of just those two characters right next to one another. In it, you can realize just how creepy that little fairy looks.

Now, while the two are about the same height, roughly, Ribbon is a much smaller girth whereas the puffball is, well, very rotund and mass-erific. So, technically, at least in said and most related scenes, the creampuff is bigger than the pixie. What a lackluster, factutory statement. It makes me want to just say something else to make it seem more interesting. So, Kirbystar10, yes, Kirby would be able to devour Ribbon if he so wanted to!

Nope, no worries. You have it thought up correctly. When it comes to Nruff & Nelly, the papa/mama is Nruff while the li'l 'uns are Nelly. I know why there is confusion on this matter, however.

The problem is Nruff sans Nelly. Several savvy but-not-too savvy fans know that the boar-esque thinger appears throughout the Dark Matter Trilogy, once as a boss and twice as a regular enemy. However, since there's a big and little one, and the recurring roles are just normal foes, it stands perfectly to reason that the tiny one of the pair, never really addressed individually, should be of the same name that is used in those two later titles.

The problem x2 is that it doesn't work this way. The latter Nruff is some sort of mash-up of the two. It's very confusing. I spent quite a while, years ago, trying to get that understood.

1) Didn't I just acknowledge Mobile Shotzo earlier? Didn't I mention the sadness of no one realizing there was an inhalable version when the sole accepted Cannon ability finally slipped through? Haven't I mentioned this before? The answers are all yes. Again, people, I didn't get this job by being an idiot. I haven't lasted this long by not knowing about the classic games. Those are really the only ones I know about. Give me some credit. No, I just didn't say it in that lone instance as I get tired of repeating things over and again to the point where, at the nth time, I merely don't cover all the possible bases that had been restated to death in the past. Which, that always requires me to spend more time cleaning up since someone has to question that one, untouched stretch.

2) Yes, I acknowledge your statements, but he would have to be able to combine them first into said power star. They're just piled up in him as he's inhaling. So, if a giant stream just kept on coming at him and he had no time to condense all the enemies into a mega star bullet, you're putting way to much thought into a stupid, non-serious question and response!

1) Haboki a female? I never said that. Kirbypedia doesn't say that. Who said that? I try my best to keep all pronouns neutral unless overwhelmingly or otherwise stated clearly. That all sounds a lot like people who say that Broom Hatter is female. This is all addressed in an article I have written, to be posted, about gender and its confusion within Dream Land, so no one dwell on that bit here. It basically boils down to horrible sexism and thinking "lady-like" things associated with cleaning are feminine characters themselves due to horrible, rampant sexism. Way to keep the 1950's alive, folks!

Acro, on the other hand, is a female... I guess? It's one of those things that I kinda remember hearing but I don't remember where, plus it has biological support. Unlike other things on Pop Star, Acro is based off orca in a very realistic manner. Thus, she should follow their biology and gender differentiation. Since there never is any distinct mention of the whale (actually, large dolphin) having one or the other (both?), the sex with more logically support is the one I'm comfortable with supporting. Plus, uh, she spits babies. That's like, um, how whales give birth on Dream Land. Flying whales... who are actually dolphins.